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SPOILER WARNING
The reviews on this page are typically of the type that
describe the plot in detail. So if you don't want to know then best avoid looking.
| The Abdication (1974) | Next |
| Writer: Ruth Wolff (based on her own play) / Director: Anthony Harvey / Producers: Robert Fryer, James Cresson | |
| Type: Historical Drama | Running Time: 98 mins |
| In 1626 the royal princess Christina succeeded her father to the protestant throne of Sweden when she was still only 6-years-old. Initially she accepted the guidance and direction of Prime Minister Oxenstierna, but as Queen Christina grew to womanhood she became more independently minded. The nation began to have expectations that she would marry and produce an heir, but Christina did not feel the way other women of her age felt about men. She was a sovereign monarch and felt that carnal submission to a man and the ensuing pain of childbirth were undignified endurances to which she could not subject her mind and body. As time moved on Christina found the persistent urging of her advisers to take a husband to be wearisome and she became increasingly steadfast and wilful in her determination to hold on to her chastity.
Christina's intransigence was not understood by her people who were anxious to celebrate a marriage and children. Unfavourable rumours began to circulate across Europe telling of her unnatural ways and painting her as a notorious harlot. She made no effort to refute these rumours despite none of them being true. Christina felt the mounting pressure upon her but could see no way to resolve her dilemma without compromising her earnestly felt anxiety towards intimacy. So with no other choice open to her she decided, at the age of 28, to abdicate her throne in favour of her cousin Charles. Once that was done, Christina turned her attention towards a different religious faith, Catholicism, which unlike her current Protestant faith valued chastity highly. She journeyed to Rome seeking an audience with the Pope at the Vatican. But her unflattering reputation as a carousing debauchee had preceded her and as a result she is not given the open welcome she had expected as a former monarch. Instead she is treated with suspicion and many of the cardinals doubt the sincerity of her conversion and do not want the church to be harmed by an association with her. Nevertheless her status demands she be given an opportunity to be considered without prejudgment and so Cardinal Azzolino is assigned to interview her to assess her suitability. At first Christina is petulant and unwilling to involve herself with this outrageous charade, but Azzolino points out that she has given up so much to be here that it would be irrational to squander her chances now due to pride. Christina starts to cooperate and slowly Azzolino ekes from her an account of her life and the factors that have led her to this moment. As the days go on Christina finds herself revealing things about herself to Azzolino that she has never told another living soul. She finds herself intrigued by his inscrutability and realises that here is a man with whom she could give herself fully and knows she is falling in love with him. Christina feels certain she will be rejected by the church and entreaties Azzolino to forego his vows and come away with her to live as husband and wife. Azzolino feels a strong temptation but draws back and reminds himself that it was the church that saved him when his love for a woman nearly destroyed him ten years ago and he resolves not to weaken now however appealing the prospect. The elderly Pope is ailing and the cardinals are waiting for his end and the appointment of his successor. Azzolino decides that Christina's desire to convert is sincere and he recommends her admittance to the church. As one of his final acts the Holy Father agrees to have an audience with Christina to bless her. | |
| Comment: The above summary has been rearranged chronologically, although in the film itself Christina arrives in Rome first and the account of her early life emerges during her interviews with Azzolino. The film does not reveal any of what followed after Christina's blessing, although she lived for a further thirty-five years to the age of 63. | |
| Starring: | Liv Ullmann (as Queen Christina), Peter Finch (as Cardinal Azzolino) |
| Featuring: | Cyril Cusack (as Oxenstierna, Swedish Prime Minister), Paul Rogers (as Altieri, Vatican official), Graham Crowden (as Cardinal Barberini), Michael Dunn (as The Dwarf, Christina's servant), Lewis Fiander (as Father Dominic, Vatican attendant), Kathleen Byron (as Christina's mother), Richard Cornish (as Charles, Christina's cousin), James Faulkner (as Magnus de la Gardie, figure in Christina's youth), Ania Marson (as Ebba Sparre, Christina's friend), Suzanne Huddart (as Teenage Christina), Debbie Nicholson (as Teenage Ebba), Edward Underdown (as Christina's father) |
| Writers: James Whiton, William Goldstein / Director: Robert Fuest / Producers: Ronald S. Dunas, Louis M. Heyward | |
| Type: Horror | Running Time: 91 mins |
| Set in 1920s England where police are baffled by a series of grisly and elaborate murders. All of the victims are in the medical profession and the police eventually realise that they all worked at one time for a Dr Vesalius. Although Vesalius has had many doctors working for him over the years he is able to establish that the only things that the dead men have in common is that 4 years previously they had assisted him with an unsuccessful radical resection operation on a woman called Victoria Phibes. Her husband too died in a car crash as he raced to the hospital to be by her side.
At the scene of the latest murder an amulet was left seemingly by accident and the police consult a jeweller who says it is part of a set of 10 showing Hebrew symbols connected to the ten curses visited upon the pharaohs before Exodus. Each curse is specific in nature and are placed in a certain order:- Boils, bats, frogs, blood, rats, hail, beasts, locusts, death of first born, darkness. The murders thus far have been in this order with the deaths pertaining to the curse-type. The police can therefore deduce the identities of future victims and the manner in which they will be marked for death. But even with the prospective victims under protection the killer still manages to get through and horribly kill them. The culprit is revealed to be the husband Dr Anton Phibes who didn't die after all. Instead he was horribly mutilated and scarred and now lives a solitary existence with a beautiful mute woman and worshipping the memory and image of his dead wife. He is unable to speak but has used his mastery of acoustics to recreate his voice mechanically. In his cold calculating madness he considers the doctors who operated on his wife to be responsible for her death and has decided to take a fitting vengeance on them for their crimes. As the police close in on Phibes he escapes into an underground chamber where he drinks embalming fluid and lays himself down beside the body of his preserved dead wife and goes undetected by the police. | |
| Links: The story of Dr Phibes continues in a sequel called Dr Phibes Rises Again (1972). | |
| Starring: | Vincent Price (as Dr Anton Phibes), Peter Jeffrey (as Inspector Trout), Joseph Cotten (as Dr Vesalius) |
| Featuring: | Virginia North (as Vulnavia, Phibes' mute assistant), John Cater (as Waverley, police boss) |
| Familiar Faces: | Terry-Thomas, John Laurie |
| Starlets: | Caroline Munro (as Phibes' late wife in photos and as a body) |
| Writer: Nigel Kneale / Director: Val Guest / Producer: Aubrey Baring | |
| Type: Horror | Running Time: 86 mins |
| Dr John Rollason is a botanical scientist conducting a study of rare local flora on a Tibetan mountain in the snow-covered Himalayas. He is accompanied by two scientific colleagues one of whom is his wife Helen and the other their friend Peter 'Foxy' Fox. During their time on the mountain they have been granted permission to stay at the monastery of Rong-ruk on the lower slopes where the old and wise Lama has provided them with quarters. The higher regions of the mountain have such harsh conditions that only a few intrepid explorers have ever dared venture. John was a member of one such expedition a few years ago but he never found the thing he was looking for and he almost died trying. John had been trying to find tangible evidence of a creature which had long been whispered of in folklore as living on this mountain. These creatures are known as the Yeti or Abominable Snowmen and the only indications ever found have been massive footprints in the snow. John has written scientific papers outlining his theories that these creatures are a lost third type of primate who are as evolutionary different to man as man is to the ape.
John's wife Helen is glad that her husband has given up on his dangerous obsession to concentrate on safer endeavours lower down the mountain where his life is not at risk. But unknown to her John has been in contact with an American adventurer called Tom Friend who is mounting a new expedition to search the mountain for the elusive yeti. He has invited John to join as a scientific adviser and to Helen's distress John has agreed. Tom has realised that the problem with previous expeditions is in the number of bearers needed to carry essential supplies. This number of men would seem like an invading army to any indigenous life and scare them away making discovery less likely. So Tom has prepared in advance by having equipment and supplies cached up on the mountain during the summer months so that now only a small party of four is needed. It is now winter at a time when the mountain is at its most treacherous with heavy snowfall predicted. However this is the time when anything living high on the peaks beyond the endurance of man must inevitably venture to a lower altitude to forage for food thereby giving the adventurers their best chance of making the discovery of a lifetime. Tom Friend and his two team members Ed Shelley and Andrew McNee arrive at the monastery and a few days later they set off again with John. As they trek their way up the slopes and reach their base camp John discovers that Tom has greater ambitions than merely photographing a yeti. Tom has come prepared to capture one alive and take it back to become a commercial exhibit which will make him rich and famous. This is at odds with John's purely academic interests, but the scientist has little choice but to make the best of it. In their tent at night a wailing is heard and Shelley shoots at a figure in the dark. They follow the blood trail and discover they have killed an actual yeti and thereby solved the great Himalayan mystery. John is struck by how noble the animal looks with features that do not suggest bestiality but instead speak of dignity and character. Although such a killing was not the outcome John would have wished for he knows it will nevertheless be useful to have an actual specimen to study back in a laboratory. However a dead creature is not what Tom came here for - he still wants to capture one alive. They store the dead yeti in a cave and set some traps in the entrance hoping to lure some of the other creatures in and capture one. Tragedy strikes when McNee dies in a fall after making a reckless climb seemingly chasing after something only he could hear. John theorises that the yeti may have mind powers that allow them to influence the senses of men. He now knows the yeti have survived in this barren wilderness for untold millennia and John now believes they adapted themselves to living in these harsh conditions when the abundance of primitive man threatened to wipe their species out. They chose to live in the only place on earth early man could not survive. They are clearly intelligent enough to know that now their only protection from extinction is man's ignorance of their existence. And therefore John thinks the expedition is in great danger because the yeti will have no choice but to kill them to maintain their secret. He advises they should leave immediately while they have the chance. But Tom insists they stay for another few days to try and capture one. At night the trap is sprung but the creature is so immensely strong it breaks the tungsten steel net with ease. Shelley was guarding the cave but he became so petrified by what he saw he died of a heart attack unable to defend himself with his rifle because Tom had secretly disabled it not wanting another dead creature on his hands. With his two colleagues dead Tom is realistic to know that he no longer has the means to capture a live one, so after they bury Shelley he agrees with John that they should leave the next morning. Overnight a fierce blizzard hits and the two men shelter in the cave. Tom thinks he hears Shelley calling out to him for help from outside and in his guilt he rushes out into the night shooting his rifle wildly to signal to his friend. John knows that it is the yeti causing him to hear things but Tom is oblivious and his shots cause an avalanche which kills him. John managed to escape into the cave and is the only survivor of the expedition. Then in the cave John is confronted by two hulking creatures who have come to retrieve their dead comrade's body. John is unable to move as he stares into their eyes which express intelligence, wisdom and above all sorrow. John feels as if they are looking into his mind scrutinising his character and making a judgement upon his motives. John has no defences against such a powerful creature and as he feels himself passing out he resigns himself to the fate he knows he surely deserves for his meddling. He reawakens back in the monastery having been found unconscious on the lower slopes by a relieved Helen and Foxy. John realises that the yeti spared his life in a compassionate gesture and left him where he would be found by his own kind after judging that he was an honourable man who could be trusted not to betray them. And John thusly reports that they found no evidence of anything resembling an Abominable Snowman. | |
| Starring: | Peter Cushing (as Dr John Rollason), Forrest Tucker (as Dr Tom Friend), Maureen Connell(as Helen Rollason, John's wife), Richard Wattis (as Peter Fox, John's research colleague) |
| Featuring: | Robert Brown (as Ed Shelley, team member), Michael Brill (as Andrew McNee, team member), Wolfe Morris (as Kusang, guide), Arnold Marlé (as Lama) |
| NOTES: | |
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Made in Black and White |
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This was film adaptation of a 1955 TV drama entitled The Creature which was shown as an episode of BBC Sunday-Night Theatre. Peter Cushing played the same part in both productions and the part of Tom Friend was played by Stanley Baker. |
| Absolution (1978) | Previous Next |
| Writer: Anthony Shaffer / Director: Anthony Page / Producers: Danny O'Donovan, Elliott Kastner | |
| Type: Thriller | Running Time: 91 mins |
| SPECIAL SPOILER WARNING FOR VARIOUS TWISTS IN THIS TALE
Set in the present day at a catholic boys boarding school. Father Goddard is both the Latin and the religious knowledge master at the school. He has his eye on a bright boy in his class of sixth-formers called Benjamin Stanfield whom he thinks with the correct guidance could one day make a fine priest. Another less-gifted boy is named Arthur Dyson who has a crippled leg and wears a brace. Goddard is often short with Dyson in class for the ill-thought out theories he advances and does not give him the same latitude to express himself that he gives others like Stanfield who is quite clearly the teacher's pet who can do no wrong. But although Goddard picks on Arthur he intends it as a means of building his character and has no actual dislike for the boy. Arthur tries his best to be friends with Ben ingratiating himself whenever possible and Ben tolerates him to a certain extent but finds Arthur's pestering manner to be a wretched nuisance sometimes. In one religious knowledge lesson Goddard explains to the class the adjuncts of confessionals which as catholic boys they are all used to taking - from the purposes of the mesh screen which preserves the anonymity of the penitent, to how the priest is absolutely forbidden to reveal any information he hears even if it is a serious crime being confessed. On a cross-country run in the adjoining woodland the boys come across a homeless wanderer who has set up his awning and made a camp for himself. His name is Blakey and most of the boys give him a wide berth but Ben stops to talk and finds him an interesting character. After that he makes regular visits to Blakey's camp as he listens to the man's fascinating stories and they become friends. But when Father Goddard finds out about these trips into the woods he forbids Ben to visit the layabout Blakey anymore. Ben has no choice but to promise although he is quite clearly not happy that Goddard has taken this attitude on something he considers quite harmless. He defiantly continues to see Blakey anyway and tells him how Goddard has banned him from coming anymore. Blakey half-jokingly says he should get back at Goddard by making up some wild things in confession about what the two of them supposedly get up to. Ben thinks this is an excellent idea and goes back to school and takes a confession with Goddard telling him about the sexual couplings he engages in with Blakey. Goddard is absolutely appalled at his star pupil's words but goes through the due process of confessional. The only thing he can do is send the constabulary to tell Blakey to move on - and they give him a good beating while doing so. Ben lets the other boys including Arthur in on his joke and at his next confession Ben tearfully tells Goddard that he saw Blakey again and they rowed when the layabout thought it was Ben who had told the police about him and Ben says that in his anger he picked up a rock and hit Blakey until he was dead. He says he buried the body and tells Goddard where it is if he wants to check. Goddard is devastated by this and goes to the location and digs and finds - a scarecrow. The boys are watching him from the trees and he hears sniggers and Goddard realises he has had a filthy practical joke played upon him. Back at school he gives Ben a stern lecture on his abuse of the sacrament and says he has a good mind to recommend his expulsion but when the boy breaks down in tears saying he just wanted to get back at him for treating him badly by forbidding him to see Blakey, Goddard relents and gives him a more lenient punishment. Although later Ben tells the other boys he was just pretending to cry. Next day Goddard is taking confessions in his booth and he is surprised when his next penitent tells him it is he, Ben, again - whispering his new confession that this time it is not a joke and he really has killed Blakey. Goddard is naturally sceptical and tells him to wait while he goes to check and is dumbstruck to find this time it is true - the dead body of Blakey is in the grave. Goddard is angry and confused but cannot do anything about it. He returns to the booth and the boy tells him how he enjoyed killing Blakey and wants to kill again especially that weak clumsy cripple Dyson who is always following him around and won't take a hint and leave him in peace. In classes later Ben just smiles sweetly at him as if goading the priest with his ineffectualness to do anything about it. When Arthur Dyson goes missing Father Goddard fears the worst and tries to talk to Ben outside of confession but the boy just denies any knowledge of any murders and claims to have no idea what the priest is talking about it. Back in the booth the whispering tones of Ben apologises to Goddard for denying things outside of confession but he had to protect himself because the priest would not have been bound by any secrecy vows. He tells Goddard that he has now killed Dyson too and buried him in the woods. Goddard cannot believe the depravity of the boy and is starting to have a nervous breakdown with the torment of having to keep these wicked crimes to himself. He rushes out to the woods and digs around and uncovers the legs of the body around which Dyson's leg brace is arranged and knows the ghastly story to be true. Then Ben turns up in the clearing asking with sweet and apparent all-inncoence what Goddard is up to - with this Goddard loses all reason at the foul evil that this boy has perpetrated without seeming to show any kind of remorse and furiously, and with all his strength, swings at him with the blade of his spade embedding it in his skull killing the boy instantly. Goddard goes back to the chapel to pray for forgiveness at what he has done. And then Arthur Dyson walks in alive and well! Goddard is non-plussed because he saw the boy dead in the grave. But Dyson snidely tells him he saw what he was expecting to see. He reveals that it was actually he, Dyson, who killed and buried Blakey. It was then he, Dyson, who made all those whispered confessions in Ben's name mimicking his voice. And the second body which was supposedly his own? - that was Blakey's body again which Arthur moved and fitted with his spare leg brace. Ben had no inkling of what was going on which is why he acted so innocently and denied everything outside of confession - he only made the practical joke scarecrow confession and nothing else. Dyson tells Goddard he did it because he wanted to teach the priest a lesson for the constant shabby dismissive way he always treats him in class - always humiliating and belittling him for no good reason. And so now Dyson tells him with contempt he can either go the police and spend the rest of his days locked up for Ben's murder or kill himself and spend eternity in hell. And as Dyson leaves whistling a happy tune, Father Goddard stands before the altar shouting out his pained agony of what has befallen him. | |
| Starring: | Richard Burton (as Father Goddard), Dominic Guard (as Benjamin Stanfield), Dai Bradley (as Arthur Dyson), Billy Connolly (as Blakey) |
| Featuring: | Andrew Keir (as Headmaster), Sharon Duce (as Louella, Blakey's girlfriend), Brian Glover (as Policeman) |
| Writer: Harold Pinter / Director: Joseph Losey / Producers: Joseph Losey, Norman Priggen | |
| Type: Drama | Running Time: 101 mins |
| Stephen is a 40-something lecturer in philosophy at a top university. One of his star pupils is the aristocratic William and another is an attractive Austrian girl called Anna. William is going out with Anna although Stephen also finds her quite attractive and likes spending time with her. He invites her and William down to his country house for Sunday lunch to meet his wife Rosalind and their two young children. Unexpectedly one of Stephen's friends and fellow lecturers Charley also turns up having invited himself.
They spend a pleasant day but have so much to drink that the visitors all stay the night. A week or so passes and when returning from a business trip in London Stephen comes home to what he expects to be an empty house (while Rosalind is also away visiting friends) but finds Charley has been making use of it to sleep with Anna! His friend is having an affair with the very student he quite fancies himself but has not found the necessary courage to do anything about. William knows nothing of this and invites Stephen to one of his aristocratic parties where he is announcing his engagement to Anna. Charley cannot believe she is marrying William because he has left his wife because of his love for her. At the party William says he would like to come and see Stephen at his home later that night to discuss something - he will bring Anna and she can sleep in a spare room while they talk. That night outside Stephen's house there is the sound of a speeding car and then a crash. Stephen rushes out and finds William and Anna's car overturned. Anna is drunk and was driving and William is dead. Stephen gets Anna out and takes her back to his house and hides her upstairs and then calls the police about the accident without mentioning Anna's involvement. Stephen makes a fumbled attempt to take advantage of Anna in her distressed state but comes to his senses. Next day he sneaks her back to her dormitory building and she packs and leaves despite Charley's attempts to ask her to stay. | |
| Comment: The film is structured so that we see the accident first and then the events that led towards it followed by the events that come after. However we don't see the actual crash (only hear it) and don't really discover what caused it or what it was that William wanted to come and see Stephen about in the middle of the night that couldn’t have waited until a better time. | |
| Starring: | Dirk Bogarde (as Stephen, university professor), Stanley Baker (as Charley, university professor, Stephen's friend), Vivien Merchant (as Rosalind, Stephen's wife), Jacqueline Sassard (as Anna, Austrian student), Michael York (as William, Aristocratic student) |
| Featuring: | Delphine Seyrig (as Francesca, woman Stephen once had an affair with), Alexander Knox (as College Provost), Ann Firbank (as Laura, Charley's wife), Terence Rigby (as Detective), Harold Pinter (as TV Executive) |
| NOTES: | |
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From the novel of the same name by Nicholas Mosley |
| Writer: Howard Barker / Director: Jack Gold / Producer: S. Benjamin Fisz | |
| Type: War Drama | Running Time: 97 mins |
| Set in 1916. Lieutenant Stephen Croft is a young flying officer barely out of school who is full of naïve excitement at the prospect of joining the war as a fighter pilot in the Royal Flying Corps and taking on the Germans. He is especially delighted that he has been posted to a French airbase near the front line which is under the command of his hero Major John Gresham who was a former head boy from his own school.
Stephen joins 76 Squadron flying SE5 biplanes which mount regular patrols over defended enemy territory while engaging in dogfights with their German counterparts. The life expectancy of a new pilot is measured in mere weeks and those that make it beyond that either adopt a devil-may-care attitude or fall into a pit of despair. Stephen's sense of boys own enthusiasm is not dampened by any negative comments and he makes it through the first few days of shakedown runs unharmed and full of spirited anticipation. Stephen's first proper mission is on his fifth day when he is ordered to fly over an enemy stronghold whilst his passenger takes aerial photographs amidst heavy defensive fire. He makes it back all right but his passenger is killed by enemy strafing and Stephen has his first taste of mortality. His buddies take him into the nearby French town for some rest and relaxation where he finds comfort with a prostitute and loses his virginity. On the seventh day the whole squadron is involved in a mission to destroy German barrage balloons which are being used as lookout posts to spot oncoming troop movements in advance. These are Germany's most well defended assets and casualties are expected. Stephen sees several of the other pilots perish around him but ultimately the mission succeeds and the air balloons are destroyed. Stephen then sees that a German fighter has doggedly latched onto Major Gresham's plane and he attacks it to save his commander's life. Stephen is full of confidence as he accepts the acknowledgement of gratitude from Gresham and then with his eye off the sky has a head-on collision with a German fighter and instantly dies. He lasted seven days. THE END | |
| Starring: | Malcolm McDowell (as Major John Gresham), Peter Firth (as Lt Stephen Croft, new recruit), Christopher Plummer (as Captain Sinclair, older pilot), Simon Ward (as Lt Crawford, suffering from shellshock) |
| Featuring: | Trevor Howard (as Lieutenant Colonel Silkin, at GHQ), Richard Johnson (as Major Lyle, at GHQ), Ray Milland (as Brigadier General Whale, at GHQ), David Wood (as Lt. Thompson) |
| Star-Turns: | John Gielgud (as Headmaster, in prologue scene only) |
| Starlets: | Pascale Christophe (as Croft's prostitute), Judy Buxton, Tricia Newby and Penny Irving (as French nightclub hostesses) |
| NOTES: | |
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Based on the play Journey's End by R.C. Sherriff |
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Reviewed from a TV matinee broadcast. The running time of 97 minutes is considerably shorter than the time of 114 minutes indicated on IMDB so it may have been an edited version. |
| The Adding Machine (1969) | Previous Next |
| Writer/Director/Producer: Jerome Epstein | |
| Type: Fantasy Drama | Running Time: 90 mins |
| Set in 1930s Manhattan, New York. Mr Zero is a world-weary middle-aged man who has been in the same dead-end accountancy job for nearly 25 years. At home his wife, Mrs Zero, is forever nagging and needling him about his failure to advance his position and he has long since given up responding to her never-ending disparaging remarks. For Mr Zero home life is a drag.
In his job at Smithers Department Store he works in the accountancy department with a younger female clerk called Daisy Devore. Together they total up the receipts which she reads out and he adds up. They are very workmanlike but have a tension between them that is revealed in their inner thoughts which veers from loathing to yearning but is never openly spoken and neither knows the other holds anything but tolerated contempt for them. One day after work the company chairman Mr Smithers comes to see Mr Zero. It is the anniversary day of Zero's 25th year of service and the first time Mr Smithers has ever spoken to him. Zero thinks he is at last going to get a much overdue promotion but instead he finds he is getting the sack - the store has decided to move with the times and buy an adding machine to increase efficiency and since any office junior can operate it, Mr Zero's services are no longer required. Mr Zero snaps at this devastating news and kills Mr Smithers with a bill file. Zero is arrested, found guilty and sentenced to death. Whilst waiting on death row he meets another condemned prisoner Mr Shurdlu - a troubled young man cosseted by his devoutly religious mother into following the faith until one day a mania overcame him and he murdered her. Mr Shurdlu is the first to be executed and Mr Zero several days later. After his death Mr Zero is surprised to find himself in some sort of funfair full of people enjoying themselves. Mr Zero cannot understand it for surely he would have been bound for hell for his sins - but this is nothing at all like he would have expected. He meets Mr Shurdlu again who has been there a while. Shurdlu finds it most maddening as it contradicts all his religious beliefs - he had expected burning hellfire and unspeakable torment but instead he had been told to come here until he "understood". In this utopian land everything is free in shops and there are idyllic beaches to relax upon. Whilst on a deserted beach Mr Zero sees a woman coming towards him - it is Daisy his former co-worker. She too is dead - she tells Mr Zero that she secretly loved him and was so upset about his execution that she killed herself and now finds herself here. Mr Zero is staggered because he had a secret passion for her as well which fear of rejection had prevented him from expressing whilst alive. They become a couple and fall in love in the idyllic paradise land making up for all the wasted years. Mr Zero continues to wonder why they are in this place and not the "other". He discovers that it is not just himself, Daisy and Shurdlu who are sinners, but that everyone here committed unspeakable crimes during life. Mr Zero becomes so repelled at sharing the land with so many bad people that he splits up with Daisy and takes a "job" in an office working alone with an adding machine. He works non-stop 24 hours a day for the next 30 years without aging until the company boss tells him his time here is up and it is time for him to return to Earth. Zero is thoroughly confused because he thought he would be here forever and so the boss explains that a soul is a commodity that cannot be wasted. Bad souls are sent to this place to be "washed" before being recycled and sent back to Earth to be used again for a newborn babe. Each soul is reused millions of time in this way although it never recollects any of its former lives. Zero is told his class of soul is never destined to amount to anything much which depresses Zero and so the boss sends his spirit back to Earth with some precious company - Hope - which is personified in Zero's mind as a vision of Daisy as he begins a new life-cycle. | |
| Starring: | Milo O'Shea (as Mr Zero), Phyllis Diller (as Mrs Zero), Billie Whitelaw (as Daisy Devore), Julian Glover (as Mr Shrudlu, condemned prisoner) |
| Featuring: | Sydney Chaplin (as Lieutenant Charles, man in charge of the idyllic land), Raymond Huntley (as Smithers, Mr Zero's company chairman), Phil Brown, Libby Morris, Hugh McDermott and Paddie O'Neil (as Mrs Zero's friends) |
| Familiar Faces: | Mike Reid (as Prison Yard guard, [one-line cameo]) |
| NOTES: | |
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Based on the play of the same name by Elmer Rice |
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Although set in America it is a British film with British actors who all adopt American accents in their roles |
| The Adolescents (1975) | Previous Next |
| Writers: Pedro Masó, Santiago Moncada / Director: Pedro Masó / Producer: (none shown) | |
| Type: European / Drama | Running Time: 99 mins |
| Ana Aguia is a young Spanish girl who lives with her parents who run a Spanish hotel. Ana is naturally shy and retiring and when the summer season is over Ana's father decides it will be good for her to broaden her horizons and attend a private boarding school in England. Ana is not thrilled with the idea as she would much prefer to remain at home but her father insists that she needs to experience more of the world.
She is enrolled in the exclusive Regent School for Girls in the country which upholds high standards of discipline. Girls are not allowed to leave the premises at weekends unless they are granted special permission by Miss Stella Larsen the 30-something housemistress who seems very prim and proper and unlikely to be very accommodating in that area. Ana meets the other girls in her dormitory including Carla and Rosalind who have a devil-may-care attitude to the rules and enjoy breaking any prohibitions, including smoking, sweets and men. Ana is very straight-laced and taciturnly views the other girls' scandalous activities with quiet acceptance but clearly has no intention of or inclination to follow their example. The other girls think she is a bit odd and find her an easy target for teasing and playing pranks upon and Ana feels very lonely. Carla and Rosalind bemoan the fact that they cannot get away at the weekend to London. Ana knows some people in London who were guests at her hotel in Spain and receives an invitation to visit them - and so in a gesture of friendship she invites Carla and Rosalind along too. Miss Larsen is unexpectedly agreeable to this arrangement and gives them all permission. Once in London Carla and Rosalind change into their civvies and go clubbing leaving staid Ana, whom they cannot persuade to join them, to do some sightseeing still dressed in her school uniform - they arrange to meet up with her later in a pub. Later on at the pub when they all meet up, the two wayward girls have picked up a couple of young men - a cockney DJ called Jimmy and a black American street musician called Joe. Their friend Carlos is a photographer who has been let down by a model and Carla agrees to take her place. They all go back to Carlos's studio and Carla poses topless and simulates sensuous sex with Joe while Carlos snaps away. Ana stands on the sidelines viewing the proceedings with reserved incredulity at such liberated behaviour. Joe then tries it on with Ana but she panics and struggles to fend off his attempts to paw at her and eventually Jimmy steps in to stop his friend when it becomes clear that Ana is really upset about it. Jimmy drives Ana home in his expensive sportscar apologising for his friend's over-exuberance. They stop off for a bite to eat and get talking and Jimmy is generally quite charming towards her. He warns her to be careful in London and tells her she shouldn't really trust anyone - not even himself, although Ana finds his openness deserving of some trust and warms to him. Carlos takes the photos of Carla to his publisher Mr Hanson who regards them as nothing particularly special and not worth much payment - but when he sees prim-looking Ana standing in the background of some shots he tells Carlos that she IS special-looking and naked pictures of her would be worth a lot more. Back at school Ana is still upset but cheers up a few days later when Jimmy comes to visit her and Miss Larsen unexpectedly allows them some time together. Jimmy invites Ana on a date in London and Miss Larsen again surprises by agreeing to it. Ana and Jimmy spend the day in London sightseeing and getting to know each other and Ana becomes much more relaxed in his company feeling she has at last found someone in whom she can put her faith. As the evening rolls on they go back to Jimmy's apartment and Ana feels comfortable enough to willingly have sex with him. However it is a set-up in which Jimmy is fully complicit - in the next room through a two-way mirror and with hidden camera equipment Carlos is taking the photographs they need - in what is quite clearly an oft-repeated seduction ploy. Ana returns to school happy and oblivious to how she has been used. Carlos sells the photos and they are published in a European porn magazine with Ana on the front cover. Although Jimmy has done the same thing countless times to other girls he has begun to have a crisis of conscience over duping Ana so callously because he had actually really liked her. We then discover his real lover and organiser of the sexploitation ring is none other than Miss Larsen from Ana's school who has been using her position to grant likely girls special permission to go to London to be drawn in by her accomplices' seductive ways. Plain-seeming Ana had been allowed to go to London merely as a way of getting Carla and Rosalind ensnared and so Miss Larsen was somewhat surprised by the unexpected appetite for pictures of Ana - so made hasty arrangements to facilitate the demand. The first batch of Ana-pics proved very popular and the publisher wants more so Miss Larsen tells Jimmy to invite Ana out again for a repeat performance. But Jimmy refuses and quits the operation disgusted and ashamed at himself for what he has done for the easy money he craves. So Miss Larsen tells Joe to take Jimmy's place. Joe lures Ana to the apartment on the pretext that Jimmy will be there. Once inside Joe proceeds to rip off her clothes and rape her whilst Carlos snaps away. Ana struggles vainly but can do nothing to stop it. Meanwhile Jimmy realises what is happening and speeds to the rescue but he is too late and finds Ana sobbing at her ordeal and the two men gone. Jimmy is furious and goes to Carlos' studio and confronts his former accomplices and they have a massive fight. The police arrive to deal with the disturbance and find the pornographic material that Carlos keeps. Jimmy freely gives a confession and all three of them and Miss Larsen are arrested. Ana, Carla and Rosalind are expelled from the school for being a blemish on its good name. | |
| Starring: | Anthony Andrews (as Jimmy Carson), Koo Stark (as Ana Aguia), Susan Player (as Carla, schoolgirl), Victoria Vera (as Rosalind, schoolgirl), Maria Perschy (as Miss Stella Larsen, housemistress), Eduardo Bea (as ?Carlos Borrera, photographer), Trevor Thomas (as Joe Graves, accomplice) |
| Featuring: | Cristina Galbó (as Mother Hen, school's head girl), Jack Taylor, Víctor Petit, Eduardo Fajardo (?[possibly Ana's father]), Queta Claver (?[possibly Ana's mother]), Isabel Mª Pérez, Beatriz Galbó (as unnamed schoolgirl), Adolfo Alises, Judith Nelmes, Patricia Mason, Arthur Howard (as ?School headmaster), Mónica Ulloa |
| NOTES: | |
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The cast list does not contain character names - so other than Anthony Andrews and Koo Stark it is not certain which is which. I have determined some by comparison with on-line photos and by credits prominence for others (indicated by a ?). Any others remaining are listed above without character names. |
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Koo Stark receives an "introducing" credit |
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This Spanish film is reviewed here because it was set in London and starred Anthony Andrews and Koo Stark. Most of the other actors were Spanish. The version reviewed carried the English title and credits (job titles, etc) and was spoken in English although some of the non-English actors sounded dubbed. The original Spanish title is Las Adolescentes. |
| Writers: Johnny Byrne, Norman Cohen / Director: Norman Cohen / Producers: Gregory Smith, Norman Cohen | |
| Type: War Drama | Running Time: 98 mins |
| Set in 1939 and 1940 in England at the start of the Second World War. Terence Alan Milligan (nicknamed "Spike") is a young man who, like all others of his generation, is called up to the military services. Spike is a natural comedian with a talent for quick-witted remarks which he is rarely able to resist making whatever company he is in. He is posted to a seaside town to join 56th Regiment D Battery along with an assortment of other raw recruits. They spend the next couple of months being trained and drilled in the ways of the army ready for their active service abroad.
Spike confidently wisecracks his way through the early days of his training when the horrors of war all seem a bit remote but sobers somewhat after he experiences death first hand when one of his buddies is killed and another has their entire family wiped out in an air raid on London. Once training is complete Spike and his fellow conscripts are posted overseas and we see them leaving on the train to face whatever fate has in store for them. | |
| Comment: There is no particular overarching plot to describe for this film - instead it presents episodic moments in the conscripts' day-to-day training. | |
| Starring: | Jim Dale (as Spike Milligan), Arthur Lowe (as Major Drysdale, commanding officer), Bill Maynard (as Sgt Ellis, drill sergeant) (Main conscripts) Tony Selby (as Bill Neal), Geoffrey Hughes (as Larry Waters) |
| Featuring: | Windsor Davies (as Sgt MacKay, neighbouring regiment), Stephen Yardley (as Lt Martin), Tirzah Lowen (as Margaret, ATS Sergeant, Drysdale's secretary) (other conscripts) Jim Norton (as Pongo Burne), Robert Longden (as 'Heavenly' Bliss), Paul Antrim (as Anderson), Tony Hughes (as Edwards) |
| Familiar Faces: | Donald Hewlett (as Senior Officer at prison), Bob Todd (as Boxing Referee), Anthony Booth (as Tommy Brettell, leader of civilian band Spike plays in) |
| Star-Turns: | Spike Milligan and Pat Coombs (as Spike's Father and Mother) |
| Starlets: | Melita Manger, Pat Quinn and Linda Regan (Dance Hall Girls, [bit parts]) |
| NOTES: | |
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Based on the autobiographical book of the same name by Spike Milligan |
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Despite what one might expect it is not really a comedy film as such but a fairly straight story about army life for young conscripts going through their training, featuring one character called Spike Milligan (played by Jim Dale) with a natural flair for making inventively funny remarks. Spike would of course go on to become a comedy legend in the 1950s with the radio programme The Goon Show. The real Spike has a small role in this film playing the part of his own father. |
| Writer/Director: Gene Wilder / Producer: Richard A. Roth | |
| Type: Crime Comedy | Running Time: 87 mins |
| It is 1891 and when an important document is stolen from the personal safe of the Foreign Secretary, Queen Victoria herself requests the involvement of the famous detective Sherlock Holmes. The document is of vital importance to Britain's strategic power and various foreign factions are vying to get hold of it - and should it fall into the wrong hands then war will inevitably result. Holmes knows that his high-profile involvement would act like a beacon for enemy agents and so to throw them off the scent he and Watson make a great play of going abroad to investigate the matter while handing over one of his seemingly lesser cases to his little-known younger brother Sigerson.
Sigerson Holmes has always been resentful of living in the shadow of his older brother (whom he disparagingly calls "Sheer Luck") and leaps at the chance of proving himself by solving one of his cases. Sigerson has a zany eccentricity and an unerring ability to see through any lies he is being told. He is partnered by an equally oddball ex-policeman called Orville Sacker who used to work in the records department and has a photographic memory for useful facts. The "unimportant" case they have been handed by Sherlock is that of a highly-strung music hall actress called Jenny Hill who is being blackmailed by an actor called Eduardo. He had obtained a foolish love letter she had written and was threatening to show it to her fiancé unless she did as he asked. All she had to do was remove a document from her father's safe in return for the letter. She has no idea what the document was but as a result of its removal her father's career is in tatters and she wants Sigerson to get it back. Sigerson sees through the lies and eventually gets to the truth. Jenny's "father" is actually the Foreign Secretary and she is not his daughter but his mistress and governess to his children. As Sigerson and Sacker investigate they find out that Sherlock Holmes' nemesis Professor Moriarty is also involved and only just manage to escape with their lives after being captured by him. Eduardo has made a deal with the evil Moriarty and intends to hand over the document for a large payment and Moriarty has already secured bids for the document from interested European parties. The handover to Moriarty is to be effected during a performance of Eduardo's opera but Sigerson and Sacker manage to prevent it happening and return the document to their client Jenny. Sherlock Holmes himself never actually left the country but has been observing from the fringes making sure his younger brother was making adequate progress without him ever realising the historic importance of the document he had been tasked to recover. | |
| Starring: | Gene Wilder (as Sigerson Holmes), Marty Feldman (as Orville Sacker), Madeline Kahn (as Jenny Hill), Leo McKern (as Professor Moriarty) |
| Featuring: | Roy Kinnear (as Moriarty's Assistant), Douglas Wilmer (as Sherlock Holmes), Thorley Walters (as Dr Watson), Dom De Luise (as Eduardo Gambetti, blackmailer), John Le Mesurier (as Lord Redcliff, foreign secretary) |
| Familiar Faces: | Nicholas Smith (as Sigerson's butler), Julian Orchard (as Music hall actor), Albert Finney (as Man in audience, [cameo appearance]) |
| Writer: Stephen D Frances, Aubrey Cash / Director/Producer: Stanley Long | |
| Type: Sex Comedy | Running Time: 84 mins |
| Plumber Sid South is in debt to his bookies to the sum of £900 and they are leaning on him to pay up. He wants to do honest work but knows it will not pay well enough quickly enough and so goes to a crime broker (like a job centre for crime jobs that need doing!) who gives him some dodgy work that will utilise his skills for a good pay-off - although needless to say things go wrong. And naturally during the course of his honest and dishonest work he has encounters with various women who invariably lose their clothes somehow. | |
| Starring: | Christopher Neil (as Sid South) |
| Featuring: | Arthur Mullard, Anna Quayle, Elaine Paige, Richard Caldicot, Peter Cleall, Leon Greene |
| Star-Turns: | Stephen Lewis, William Rushton Christopher Biggins |
| Starlets: | Nina West, Prudence Drage, Lindy Benson, Angela Daniels, Christine Donna, Teresa Wood, Pat Astley, Claire Davenport, And:- Suzy Mandel, Tessa Skola, Linda Hartley, Vicki Scott (as Tennis Girls) |
| NOTES: | |
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Although the Tennis Girls are listed in the credits as 1st to 4th Tennis Girl separately - this is not particularly helpful because it does not indicate what criteria they are being ordered by - perhaps the order they are seen on screen, or the order they first speak in, or just some completely random order. Suzy Mandel is easily recognisable, Vicky Scott has been identified by comparison to other movies but the other two have not appeared in anything else to determine who is who (and since one of them remains fully dressed throughout it's not possible to give a general indication of nudity that could cover both) |
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Linda Hartley who is one of the Tennis Girls is not the same Linda Hartley who appeared in Australian soap Neighbours as Kerry Bishop (1989-90). According to the Internet Movie Database her birth date was in 1967 which would have made her about 11 when this film was made - so unless that Date of Birth is very wrong then the IMDB entry which shows this sex-comedy as the Neighbours' Linda Hartley's first film is incorrect. (Last checked: October 2005) |
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Elaine Paige is shown as playing "Daisy" in the end-credits, yet throughout her scenes she is referred to as "Susie". |
| Writer: Michael Armstrong / Director: Stanley Long / Producer: Peter and Stanley Long | |
| Type: Sex Comedy | Running Time: 92 mins |
| Bob West is an inexperienced Private Detective and while his boss is away for a few days he is visited by a young recently widowed lady client who asks him to try and retrieve some compromising photos of her that would prove she is not a virgin - because her rich elderly husband stipulated in his will that she could only inherit if that were the case. | |
| Comment: Unlike some such films this plot occupies the whole film rather than being a series of mini-cases. There are a couple of "diversions" to allow for mini-interludes to the main story but the central plot drives the whole thing. | |
| Starring: | Christopher Neil (as Bob), Suzy Kendall (as the lady client) |
| Featuring: | Harry H. Corbett, Liz Fraser, Anna Quayle, Ian Lavender, Veronica Doran, William Rushton, Adrienne Posta |
| Familiar Faces: | Nicholas Young (from The Tomorrow People), Peter Moran (young ginger-haired boy playing the son of Angela Scoular - he went on to play Pogo Patterson in Grange Hill) |
| Star-Turns: | Jon Pertwee, Diana Dors, Irene Handl, Julian Orchard |
| Starlets: | Hilary Pritchard, Angela Scoular, Linda Regan, Linda Cunningham, Theresa Wood, Nicola Austin, Maria, Mireille Allonville |
| Also: | (Cameo) Shaw Taylor (seen in passing - no dialogue) |
| NOTES: | |
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Christopher Neil receives an "introducing" credit and he also sings the theme tune. |
| Writer: Suzanne Mercer / Director: Stanley Long / Producer: Peter and Stanley Long | |
| Type: Sex Comedy | Running Time: 81 mins |
| Joe North is a London blackcab driver trying to make a decent living. He has an eye for the ladies and his job gives him ample opportunities to meet women although his whining fiancée is none too keen. A conventional plot to tail the film sees him get caught up in a jewellery robbery when the thieves use his cab for their getaway. | |
| Starring: | Barry Evans (as Joe), Judy Geeson |
| Featuring: | Adrienne Posta, Diana Dors, Robert Lindsay, Henry McGee |
| Star-Turns: | Liz Fraser, Ian Lavender, Stephen Lewis, Brian Wilde |
| Starlets: | Jane Hayden, Angela Scoular, Gloria Walker, Anna Bergman, Prudence Drage, Sue Vanner, Rachel Dix |
| NOTES: | |
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Adrienne Posta sings the theme song |
| Writers: Bruce Beresford, Barry Humphries / Director: Bruce Beresford / Producer: Phillip Adams | |
| Type: Australian / Comedy | Running Time: 100 mins |
| Barry McKenzie is a raucous Australian who wants nothing more from life than a good beer down at the bar with his like-minded mates. So when Barry's father dies and makes it a condition of receiving his $2000 bequest that Barry travel to England to impart the intellectual and cultural traditions of the family, Barry is none too keen as he has a low opinion of Poms (British people). But he agrees to go and his Aunt Edna decides to come with him to visit some friends and family over there.
Once in London Barry's opinion is not altered as every Pom he meets seems to be trying to fleece him. In a pub he is approached by an advertising executive called Groove Courtney who thinks he would be ideal for a series of print ads for a brand of cigarettes. Barry goes along to do the work and meets a young actress called Caroline with whom he arranges a further date. Although Barry brags about his success with women and has a confident enough manner, in actual fact he is rather shy when it comes to being alone with women and has never actually done the deed. He goes back to Caroline's flat but because of his nervous reticence fails with her. Next Barry accompanies Edna as she pays a visit to the home of Mr and Mrs Gort. The Gort's cannot stand Aussie's but think Barry may be rich and wish to marry off their unattractive daughter. But the whole family reveal themselves to be decidedly loopy and Barry hightails it. He hitches a lift back to London in the van of a hippy pop group called The Disciples. He sings them an Australian ditty he knows and they decide they want to steal his material and so they trick him into signing over all rights to his songs. And then they take him to a nightclub and get him to sing some more which they record. A pop promoter attending wants to sign Barry up and a fight breaks out between his thugs and the hippies. Barry is injured and taken to a hospital where he is treated as a mental patient - but he causes so much trouble they decide it's easier to release him. Edna has been asked by one of her friends to check up on her daughter Lesley who has not been in contact recently. Lesley is a cross-dresser who enjoys the company of women who all dress as men. She and Barry were childhood friends and they go out together to discuss old times and while out they bump into her ex-husband Dominic who is a TV producer and he asks Barry if he will take part in a live TV show he is making about Australian culture. Barry agrees and is interviewed by Joan Bakewell who tries to belittle his lack of sophistication and he ends up flashing his manhood at the camera live on air. Edna and Barry decide they've seen enough of England and return home to Australia although Barry admits in a funny sort of way he was just starting to like the Poms. | |
| Comment: It is a fairly episodic sort of film with no real overarching plot to carry it. | |
| Starring: | Barry Crocker (as Barry McKenzie), Barry Humphries (as Aunt Edna Everage; and Hoot the hippy band leader; and a psychiatrist), Mary Anne Severne (as Lesley) |
| Featuring: | Dennis Price (as Mr Gort, Sarah's father), Avice Landone (as Mrs Gort, Sarah's mother), Jenny Tomasin (as Sarah Gort), Julie Covington (as Blanche, hippy chick), Christopher Malcolm (as Sean, hippy band member), Peter Cook (as Dominic, Lesley's ex-husband), Paul Bertram (as Curly, Barry's Australian mate), Dick Bentley (as Detective), Judith Furse (as Claude, Lesley's 'butch' friend), Margo Lloyd (as Mrs McKenzie, Barry's mother) |
| Familiar Faces: | Spike Milligan (as Hotel Landlord), William Rushton (as Pom on aeroplane), Joan Bakewell (as Herself, TV presenter) |
| Starlets: | Maria O'Brien (as Caroline, actress) |
| NOTES: | |
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Based on the Barry McKenzie comic strip written by Barry Humphries with drawings by Nicholas Garland as published in "Private Eye" from an idea by Peter Cook. |
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Barry and his Aunt Edna made another screen appearance in a follow-up film called Barry McKenzie Holds His Own (1974). |
| Writer: H.A.L. Craig / Director: Jerzy Skolimowski / Producers: Henry E. Lester, Gene Gutowski | |
| Type: Comedy | Running Time: 91 mins |
| Set during the Napoleonic Wars in the early 1800s. The French and the English are at war and Spain is their battleground. One of Emperor Napoleon Bonaparte's best generals, Marshal Massena has become cut off while laying siege on the Castle of Morales which is a key English position. So Napoleon conceives a plan to mislead the English into redeploying their forces to allow Messena to escape. He has drawn up some false battle plans which he wishes to ensure fall into enemy hands and cause them to move in response to a new perceived threat. Napoleon needs a soldier who will think nothing of riding alone in the face of overwhelming odds to deliver the communiqué to Massena. The man must think his mission objective is real and remain unaware that the plan will only be a success if he is caught and the message intercepted. For this Napoleon needs his most foolish officer... whose name is Colonel Gerard.
Colonel Etienne Gerard of the Conflans is an officer who believes himself to be the most courageous man in the French army. His pomposity knows no bounds as he struts proudly boasting of all his past exploits. When his emperor selects him for the important mission he knows that he is the man for the job and promises not to let his leader down. As he sets off he injudiciously brags about the highly secret mission to which he has been entrusted without heed to who is listening and Spanish nationalists are soon aware that Gerard carries a message which must be captured. The Spanish hate the French and English in equal measure and want them both out of the country. Teresa, the beautiful Countess of Morales, sets off after Gerard determined to get the despatch. Unaware of her ulterior motive, Gerard fancies his chances with Teresa as she attempts to use her womanly wiles to lure him into a trap set by her men. But they are both captured by the bandit rogue Millfleurs who finds sadistic pleasure in torturing his captives before killing them in horrific ways. Gerard shows chivalry in helping Teresa to escape and she returns the favour by sending for Colonel Sir John Russell of the Coldstream guards to rescue him. Teresa had hoped that Colonel Russell would seize the despatch but the Englishman is ruled by codes of behaviour and believes it would be bad form to stop a chap on a secret mission and allows Gerard to be on his way. Against all the odds Gerard delivers his message to Marshal Massena proud to have served his emperor so impeccably. He is somewhat taken aback therefore when Massena criticises him for being an idiot telling him he was supposed to be killed and his message seized by the enemy to draw their forces away. Gerard leaves shamefaced for failing in his duty and rides out to where Napoleon's forces are gathering. Napoleon is bitterly disappointed in Gerard as he starts to report on his "successful" mission. But just then the British-held castle explodes when a careless soldier smokes too close to the gunpowder stores. The timing makes it seem as though Gerard had been responsible for this breakthrough and he is congratulated and given a medal. Gerard is pleased and does nothing to dispel their misunderstandings. | |
| Starring: | Peter McEnery (as Colonel Etienne Gerard), Claudia Cardinale (as Teresa, Spanish Countess of Morales), Eli Wallach (as Napoleon Bonaparte) |
| Featuring: | Norman Rossington (as Sgt Papilette, French), Mark Burns (as Colonel Sir John Russell, Coldstream Guards), Jack Hawkins (as Marshal Millefleurs, leader of Spanish outlaws), John Neville (as Duke of Wellington), Leopoldo Trieste (as Marshal Massena), Veronique Vendell (as Madeleine, Massena's woman) |
| NOTES: | |
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Adapted from the Brigadier Gerard stories by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle |
| Africa - Texas Style (1967) | Previous Next |
| Writer: Andy White / Director/Producer: Andrew Marton | |
| Type: Western | Running Time: 104 mins |
| Texan cowboy Jim Sinclair and his Americanised Indian friend John Henry are traditional cattlemen - but in modern-day Texas their skills are not in such all-year-round demand as would once have been the case. So they accept a six-week job on a Kenyan game reserve owned by a British ranch owner called Buck Hayes. Hayes is a conservationist who believes that it is important to domesticate stocks of wild animals for breeding purposes to prevent their extinction. He has employed the two cattlemen to use their rodeo skills to rope and herd all manner of native species for his corral - including zebra, eland, antelope, wildebeest, buffalo and gazelle. He is concerned that the overgrazing of cattle is turning the pastures into desert land and there is a need to switch from cattle to game ranching to counteract the problem. Hayes knows it won't be easy convincing the friendly local Masai natives of this since their livelihood depends on cattle and they consider their animals to be their wealth. Also unconvinced is Hayes' South African ranch neighbour Karl Bekker who thinks Hayes is a menace whose foolish ideals could bring in disease carried by these wild animals that could wipe out his own cattle stock. He vows to thwart Hayes' efforts any way he can.
Sinclair and Henry are unused to the Kenyan animals but soon find the same lassoing techniques they employ back in Texas with buffalo work just fine here too and they are soon filling up Hayes' corrals with animals. Although the captured beasts fight hard to avoid capture, once they are penned and fed they soon become quite tame. Also in the area is an Englishwoman called Fay Carter who is working amongst the Masai tribe as a nurse and ecologist whilst she studies their culture. She is engaged to her companion Dr Hugo Copp and at first takes a dislike to the pushy American cowboy Sinclair who has taken a shine to her. But as the days and weeks go on she begins to become attracted to him also and a romance develops. Sinclair is a big hit with the Masai as he buys them food for a feast and impresses them with his sharp shooting skills. Bekker tries various tactics to ruin things for Hayes but to no avail. And so as the two cowboys' six week job draws to a close and the friendly Masai hold a party in honour of their new found friends, Bekker uses this opportunity to sneak into Hayes' temporarily deserted ranch and open the corral gates releasing all the wild animals so painstakingly captured. When Sinclair sees the animals have been released he rushes back alone to try and round them up - but he gets himself lost and wounded in the plains and a massive search has to be undertaken to find him. Eventually Sinclair has a battle of wits with a rhino which he eventually wins and captures the beast with his roping skills. Although it looks as though all their hard work has been undone by Bekker they soon find that the captured animals have become so used to their pampered captivity that they have returned to congregate nearby and are easy to herd back into the pens. It is time to go but Sinclair finds he has enjoyed his time so much and has found love with Fay that he decides to stay in Kenya and continue to work for Hayes and naturally his faithful friend Henry remains too. | |
| Starring: | Hugh O'Brian (as Jim Sinclair), Tom Nardini (as John Henry), John Mills (as Wing Commander Howard 'Buck' Hayes), Nigel Green (as Karl Bekker, rival rancher), Adrienne Corri (as Fay Carter) |
| Featuring: | Ronald Howard (as Dr Hugo Copp, Fay's fiancé), Charles Malinda (as Sampson, young black boy), Honey Wamala (Mr Oyondi, Kenyan game commissioner) |
| Familiar Faces: | Hayley Mills (Chatty blonde girl arriving in Kenya on same plane as Sinclair and Henry, daughter of Embassy official, uncredited brief appearance - she never appears again even though it seemed at the time that she was probably being introduced for some forthcoming relevance to the upcoming story) |
| NOTES: | |
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Charles Malinda receives an "introducing" credit. He played an ambitious young black boy called Sampson employed by Bekker who had dreams of going to America and was keen to befriend Sinclair hoping he'd take him back to Texas with him at the end of his trip. |
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This film spun-off into the American TV adventure series "Cowboy In Africa" which ran for one season of 26 episodes starting in September 1967. The character names remained the same although all but one actor was recast. Chuck Connors took on the lead role of Jim Sinclair as he continued his adventures in Kenya; his sidekick John Henry continued to be played by Tom Nardini; Ronald Howard switched roles and became Wing Commander Hayes; and Samson was played by Gerald Edwards. There was no sign of anyone playing Fay Carter. |
| After the Fox (1966) | Previous Next |
| Writer: Neil Simon / Director: Vittorio De Sica / Producer: John Bryan | |
| Type: Crime Caper | Running Time: 99 mins |
| In Egypt a bullion van carrying a consignment of gold is waylaid while crossing the desert and its cargo of 300 gold ingots worth millions is stolen and quickly extracted from the country by sea. The thieves' ship is believed to be heading towards the Mediterranean coast and Interpol are put on alert to ensure the gold is recovered. Landing the heavy gold bars weighing a total of two tons will not be an easy operation to keep under wraps and so the authorities are convinced that the smugglers will attempt to employ the services of a criminal mastermind to devise a way of bringing the gold safely ashore undetected. The only man who would seem to fit that bill is an Italian named Aldo Vannucci otherwise known as The Fox - but he is currently out of circulation languishing in an Italian prison in Umbria.
However Aldo Vannucci has actually chosen to allow himself to be arrested and imprisoned so he can have a rest. He knows he can escape at any time and is happy to serve out his sentence. That is until his three minions, Polio, Siepi and Carlo visit to tell him that the Cairo Gold gang want to offer him the lucrative job of getting the gold into the country. At first Aldo seems uninterested in giving up his cushy prison life for such a job, but when he is told that his sister Gina has begun to become interested in men, Aldo knows he must escape to protect her from herself. Aldo is a master of disguise and trickery and he easily fools the prison guards into letting him go. Aldo decides to accept the challenge of the Cairo Gold job and meets with an Egyptian called Okra who is behind the gold theft. However Aldo has not yet worked out how to accomplish the feat. He knows he must come up with something quite remarkable if he is to bring the gold safely into Italy under the authorities' very noses Back home Aldo finds that his sister Gina has become a big movie fan and wants to be an actress. She is excited because Hollywood movie star Tony Powell is in town. Aldo observes the fuss that is made of the movie star and inspiration strikes him. He will find a quiet coastal town and pretend he is making a movie about some criminals smuggling gold in order to mask the fact that it is really happening. Aldo adopts the guise of a big-time film director called Federico Fabrizi and lands a coup by managing to hire Tony Powell to star in his movie. Tony made his name as a heroic leading man and now that he is getting on a bit he is willing to accept any roles that emphasise his virility. Aldo casts his sister Gina as the female lead and using stolen film equipment they descend upon the small coastal town of Sevalio. The people of Sevalio are overjoyed at the honour of having a big movie star in their midst and the municipal dignitaries are eager to be as cooperative as possible. The first (and only) scene Aldo intends to film is the landing of the gold. However the ship develops engine trouble and Aldo is forced to play for time by actually filming other scenes. He has no script and has no real idea how to direct a movie so he gets his actors to do whatever bizarre things comes into his head. When the ship is finally ready to unload the townspeople are employed as extras to help load the gold onto a truck. Aldo tells them it is realistic looking fake gold. However when the gold is all loaded, Okra double-crosses Aldo by driving away with it. At the same time Interpol work out what is going on and after a chase Aldo and his men are captured. At the trial Aldo maintains his guise of being a movie director and claims that a gang of real criminals had hijacked his production and fooled him into using real gold. He is asked to show the footage from his film to prove he is a real director. The footage is a slapdash amateurish muddle that makes no sense at all, although incredulously one film critic declares it to be a classic masterpiece that is clearly the work of a genius. Despite this accolade Aldo is found guilty and sentenced to five years in prison. However Aldo is not worried and knows that he can use his skills to escape again any time he chooses. | |
| Starring: | Peter Sellers (as Aldo Vanucci, criminal genius aka The Fox), Victor Mature (as Tony Powell, aging movie star), Britt Ekland (as Gina Vanucci, Aldo's sister), Martin Balsam (as Harry Grow, Tony Powell's manager) |
| Featuring: | Paolo Stoppa, Tino Buazzelli and Mac Ronay (as Aldo's three cohorts), Akim Tamiroff (as Okra, Egyptian criminal who organised the gold heist), Lando Buzzanca (as Police Chief, in Servalio), Maurice Denham (as Chief of Interpol), Lidia Brazzi (as Mamma Vanucci, Aldo and Gina's mother), Maria Grazia Buccella (as Okra's female assistant), Tiberio Murgia and Francesco De Leone (as Two detectives hunting for The Fox), Pier Luigi Pizzi (as Prison Doctor whom Aldo impersonates) |
| Writers: Kathleen Tynan, Arthur Hopcraft / Director: Michael Apted / Producers: Jarvis Astaire, Gavrik Losey | |
| Type: Drama | Running Time: 92 mins |
| Set in 1926. World famous crime novelist Agatha Christie is going through a period of emotional turmoil. Her husband Archibald is having an affair with his secretary Nancy Neele and wants a divorce. But Agatha still loves Archie and cannot accept their marriage is over. In a distressed state she packs her bags and drives away in her car. Next day the car is found crashed into a tree near a lake but there is no sign of Agatha. Police fear she may have committed suicide and begin an extensive search. A distinguished American journalist called Wally Stanton is in the area and wonders if it could be foul play on the husband's part.
In fact Agatha is alive and well and has travelled by train to Harrogate where she books into a swanky hotel under an assumed name. She then books an appointment at the nearby Royal Baths seeking treatment for a feigned back problem while she begins to make careful notes as if planning something. One of the treatment rooms contains a chair that subjects its sitter to mild electro-therapy considered useful as a slimming aid. The level of charge is safely regulated by a rheostat. Agatha later reads a book about electrical circuitry to understand how such a device might be bypassed to make the chair a lethal killing device. Meanwhile Wally Stanton has learned from Agatha's secretary that the author is still alive and is making contact via a secret PO Box number in a newspaper's personal ads column. He uses his journalistic contacts to find out her location and books himself into the same hotel under an assumed name. He wants to get to know Agatha and understand her reasons for disappearing so that when he breaks the story he will have something substantial to write about. Playing along with her assumed identity he befriends her as he tries to figure out what she's up to. As the days go by Wally begins to find himself falling for her in a soft romantic way. Nancy Neele arrives in town for some slimming treatment at the Royal Baths. Agatha had known in advance of her appointment and has been preparing for her arrival. She phones Nancy pretending to be from the Baths changing the time of her appointment and then sets about sabotaging the electrical junction box which regulates the voltage to the chair. Meanwhile Wally finally figures out what she's going to do - kill Nancy - he rushes to the Baths to try and prevent it. Nancy enters the treatment room and from behind the chair's modesty screen pretending to be a nurse Agatha asks Nancy if she wouldn't mind turning the current off. Nancy does so not realising that she's actually turning it on - there is a scream and the screen falls away. Agatha has wired herself to the chair and taken the full electrical force from the bypassed rheostat. In her unbalanced emotional state she has decided to kill herself in such a way as to set her husband's lover up for murder! Wally rushes in just after this happens to find that his theory had been almost correct bar one important detail - the intended victim. He shuts the current off and using resuscitation techniques manages to revive Agatha. The news story breaks that Agatha Christie has been found alive and well. The story released to the press is that she lost her memory and has no recollection of the past eleven days' events since her car crash. Wally decides not to publish what he knows. | |
| Comment: Although Agatha Christie's name was world famous she was publicity shy so her likeness was not familiar to the public hence her ability to go around unrecognised even though everyone knew about the story of her going missing. | |
| Starring: | Vanessa Redgrave (as Agatha Christie), Dustin Hoffman (as Wally Stanton, American reporter), Timothy Dalton (as Colonel Archibald Christie, Agatha's husband), Helen Morse (as Evelyn Crawley, hotel guest), Celia Gregory (as Nancy Neele, Archie's secretary and mistress), Timothy West (as Deputy Chief Constable Kenward) |
| Featuring: | Carolyn Pickles (as Charlotte Fisher, Agatha's secretary), Paul Brooke (as John Foster, reporter), Yvonne Gilan (as Mrs Braithwaite, Royal Baths' therapist), Tony Britton (as William Collins, Agatha's book publisher) |
| NOTES: | |
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Agatha Christie really did go missing in 1926 for eleven days with no memory of her movements when she returned. However this film is a purely fictional imagining of what happened during those days. Agatha and her husband were divorced two years later and he married Nancy Neele. |
| Age of Consent (1969) | Previous Next |
| Novel: Norman Lindsay / Writer: Peter Yeldham / Director: Michael Powell / Producers: Michael Powell, James Mason | |
| Type: Australian / Drama | Running Time: 95 mins |
| Bradley Morahan is a middle-aged artist living in New York. His work is celebrated but he feels stifled and unfulfilled working alone from a studio all day long with inspiration hard to come by. He decides to get away from it all and take a break without any art equipment back in his native Australia. He is a celebrity in Brisbane and everyone wants to meet him which is not what he was after so he decides to go and live on an isolated offshore island where only a handful of other people live.
He used to frequent the island many years ago and owns a shack that he finds in a rather dilapidated state and his first task is to spruce it up with some brighter colours. He is quite keen to keep himself to himself and avoid unnecessary contact with the small number of other residents - but then he meets a beautiful young girl who lives on the island - her name is Cora Ryan and she lives with her cantankerous old grandmother. Cora makes a living by snorkelling for seafood and then selling her produce to a shop on the mainland. Her mother is dead and father unknown and she has to look after her crotchety grandmother to keep her in groceries and gin. She desperately wants to get off the island for good and head for the bright lights and is putting aside any money she can save up until she has Aus$100 which she feels will be enough to get started in Brisbane and become a hairdresser. She also petty steals as a way of making extra money that her grandmother won't know about. Brad warns her of the dangers of that course of action for if caught she would be sent to a girls' home and then she would never fulfil her ambitions. He tells her if she promises to stop stealing then he will help her out and she agrees. He finds her appealing and charming company and she seems interested in his work and he suggests he could pay her to pose for him to give her some extra cash. He has no art materials with him but he makes a sand sculpture of her in a prone pose - although the result is of a nude she was clothed when she posed. He feels newly inspired by her and goes to the mainland shop to order some art materials to work with - whilst there he helps her push up the price that the skinflint shopkeeper pays for her seafood catches. While they are off-island the grandmother sees the sand sculpture and believes her granddaughter has posed in the nude and there is something funny going on. When Cora gets back to her shack she takes the opportunity to appraise herself and try out modelling poses - her grandmother catches her tarting herself up and beats her with her stick and calls her unpleasant names, telling her she is underage and the new man must be a perv who would be locked up if the law were to hear of it. Cora has had enough of her grandmother's drunken tirades and finally stands up to her telling her she will no longer be treated as a child. Cora is now the physically stronger one and it is clear who needs who the more. Just as Brad is beginning to get his inspiration going again his tranquillity is interrupted by an unwelcome visitor. His friend Nat Kelly turns up, down on his luck, begging for a place to stay for a while. Brad finds the time frustrating as he cannot get on with his work or see Cora whom he is missing terribly. When at last Nat leaves the island Brad feels a great weight is lifted and he and his muse Cora enthusiastically start their work again. She poses for him in the manner of a sea nymph standing topless in the water holding a spear and he feels it is his best most inspired work ever. Meanwhile the grandmother finds Cora's hidden stash of cash and jumps to the conclusion that she has been prostituting herself with Brad and he has been paying her for sex. When Cora discovers her money has gone she confronts her grandmother and they struggle for possession of the money bag and the grandmother accidentally falls down an embankment and breaks her neck and dies. The police chief happens to be on the island and is quite happy that it was all accidental. Cora is relieved to be free of her unpleasant grandmother at last. She rushes back to be with Brad whom she is starting to love but becomes despondent when it seems all he wants to do carry on with the painting. She tells him that it seems he's only interested in her as a model - but he tells her she's wrong - he feels alive once more because of her, she has given him back his eyes and enabled him to see the wonders around him once again. She asks him pointedly in that case what is he going to do about it - and with that heavy hint they fall into each others arms and frolic happily in the sea seemingly with the start of a beautiful romance blooming. THE END | |
| Starring: | James Mason (as Bradley Morahan), Helen Mirren (as Cora Ryan), Neva Carr-Glyn (as Grandma Ryan) |
| Featuring: | Jack MacGowran (as Nat Kelly, Bradley's friend), Andonia Katsaros (as Miss Isabel Marley, neighbour on island), Michael Boddy (as Police Chief), Harold Hopkins (as Ted Farrell, boatman), Slim De Grey (as Mainland Shopkeeper) |
| Starlets: | Clarissa Kaye (as Meg, Bradley's Brisbane lover) |
| NOTES: | |
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Cora's age is never mentioned. Her grandmother keeps saying she's underage but it's not clear what the "proper" age should be that she's supposedly "under" - be that 16, 18, 21 or whatever. Helen Mirren's own age at the time is no help since she was 24 or so. |
| Age of Innocence (1977) | Previous Next |
| Writer: Ratch Wallace / Director: Alan Bridges / Producers: Deanne Judson, George Willoughby | |
| Type: Drama | Running Time: 96 mins |
| Set in the 1930s in Canada in a small town community dominated by a top boy's boarding school. Henry Buchanan is a science teacher from England who has recently joined the school. Henry has outspoken views concerning his abhorrence of war and voices his fears that the world is heading towards another major conflict. His views are not welcomed in the town whose citizens have bad memories of losing good men who went off to fight alongside the British in a war that was not their own. We learn during the movie that Henry was a conscientious objector during the 1914-1918 war who was imprisoned for his stance but later released to perform medical duties on the front line on the understanding that he wouldn’t have to bear arms.
Henry feels like an outsider in town but is made to feel more welcome by a rich divorcee called Mrs Boswell who lives her life in a less conventional fashion entertaining gentleman visitors and having affairs. The headmaster's 20-year-old daughter Clarissa returns to Canada after spending a year away in New York and her local beau Ralph is keen to take up with her where they left off. But Clarissa has had her outlook expanded and realises the small town life is no longer for her. She finds Henry quite fascinating and presents him with opportunities to seduce her although at first he thinks she is too young for him and inadvertently hurts her feelings. Meanwhile Ralph is feeling rejected by her lack of loving attention towards him and sees Henry as an unwelcome rival. At a social function Clarissa tells Ralph it is over between them. Ralph sees Henry leave to drive Mrs Boswell home and then he gets drunk and broods. Henry drops Mrs Boswell off and returns to his room at the school where he finds Clarissa waiting for him. She convinces him that she is serious and not too young and spends the whole night with him as they become lovers. Meanwhile Ralph has become so angered by Henry's appropriation of Clarissa's affection that later on that evening he heads out to Mrs Boswell's house (where he thinks Henry is) and demands to see him. He pushes Mrs Boswell roughly around when she says he's not there and she slips and her head goes through a window causing a fatal neck injury. In panic Ralph turns to his father for help who tells him that if he wants to stay out of prison he must deflect the blame. So when the local constable starts investigating Mrs Boswell's death Ralph says that he saw Henry driving away at around the time that the coroner has estimated her time of death. Henry is accused of causing the death and even though he knows he did not do it he cannot explain that he was with Clarissa for fear of ruining her reputation. But when Clarissa learns of the predicament she is not so concerned and immediately volunteers the information that clears him causing the constable to re-examine the testimony given by Ralph. Clarissa's father is not pleased however and tells Henry he must leave immediately. Because Clarissa is underage she is practical enough to know she cannot go with him because her father would send the police to bring her back - but they make plans that when she reaches the age of 21 in a few months she will leave to join up with him again. He knows he will wait for her but he questions whether she will have the fortitude to wait for him - and as he leaves town she is left crying because she finds she did not know the answer. | |
| Starring: | David Warner (as Henry Buchanan), Honor Blackman (as Mrs Boswell, rich Canadian divorcee), Trudy Young (as Clarissa, headmaster's daughter) |
| Featuring: | Tim Henry (as Ralph McKinnon, Clarissa's beau), Cec Linder (as Dr Hogarth, headmaster), Lois Maxwell (as Mrs Hogarth, headmaster's wife), Joey Davidson (as Sam Carter, pupil in Henry's class), Robert Hawkins (as Lloyd, Ralph's friend), Jon Granik (as Mr Carter, Sam's father and school governor), John Friesen (as Constable), Michael Tait (as Mr McKinnon, Ralph's father), Michael Reynolds (as Helmut Smith, teacher), John Swindells (as Griffen, gentleman caller friend of Mrs Boswell) |
| aka: Whispering Death | |
| Writer/Director/Producer: Jürgen Goslar | |
| Type: Thriller | Running Time: 92 mins |
| In colonial Southern Rhodesia (now called Zimbabwe), ex-police officer Terick Handel is looking forward to enjoying a new life with his fiancée Sally in their newly built cottage in the outlying regions. Member-in-Charge Bill is the police chief and Terick's ex-boss. He is having to deal with disturbances caused by African terrorists who are determined to win their land back from the whites. Their leader is known as Whispering Death and he is an albino with a pale face and white hair which sets him apart from his brethren. He whips his followers into a frenzy with primitive tribal ceremonies. His instructions are to kill all the whites and show no mercy in their efforts to drive the colonialists away. Bill's task it to stamp out this resistance.
Terick is in town celebrating his stag night whilst Sally spends time at the cottage sorting things out for when she and Terick move in after their wedding. The tribal terrorists arrive at the cottage and, following their tactic of destroying anything the white man values, they burn it down. They also capture Sally, and the Albino takes great delight in raping the white woman before scalping and killing her. When Terick discovers Sally has been murdered, and in such a brutal way, he vows vengeance and organises a response amongst his friends who all liked Sally and agree with the need to put an end to these outrages. They discover the Albino's encampment and a gun battle ensues. Many of the tribal insurgents are killed although the Albino escapes. Mere disruption is not enough for Terick and he remains determined to hunt down the leader and kill him. He sets off into the open country with only his friend Katimo for help who volunteers his tracking skills. Despite Terick's understandable reasons the authorities cannot condone him taking the law into his own hands and order him to be captured. Bill is reluctant to perform this duty and so a new commander called Turner is brought in with no personal attachments. The two-way hunt goes on for many days across the rocky terrain, with Terick and Katimo closing in on the Albino and his diminishing body of supporters, and Turner and his men following Terick's trail. The Albino proves wily and lays traps for his pursuers which Terick and Katimo manage to elude. Eventually Terick comes upon the Albino who by now is exhausted but still manages to get the upper hand and is on the verge of killing Terick when Katimo saves him but is killed himself. With all of his men now dead the Albino tries to get away but he is so debilitated by thirst he can do little more than crawl. Despite his disadvantage he is defiant and goads Terick with lurid details of what he did to Sally and how she screamed in terror and how much her fear enhanced his own pleasure. Terick shoots the Albino repeatedly but he seems to be unkillable until Terick pins him down and stabs him again and again in his avenging rage. The Albino is at last dead but Terick does not feel the satisfaction he was expecting. He still feels an overwhelming sense of grief at Sally's loss and cannot contemplate the emptiness his life will be without her. When the soldiers catch up to him and order him to surrender he instead raises his weapon as if to fire and they have no choice but to shoot him dead. | |
| Starring: | James Faulkner (as ex-Officer Terick Handel), Christopher Lee (as Colonial Police Chief Bill), Trevor Howard (as Johannes, farmer, Sally's father), Horst Frank (as Whispering Death, albino) |
| Featuring: | Sybil Danning (as Sally, Terick's fiancée, Johannes' daughter), Sam Williams (as Katimo, black police officer), Erik Schumann (as Turner, new commander), Sascha Hehn (as Peter, Terick's best friend) |
| NOTES: | |
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English version written by Scot Finch; from the novel by Daniel Carney |
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The title on the version reviewed was Whispering Death and also Der Flüsternde Tod (double titled). It was dubbed into German with English subtitles to translate it back into English. |
| The Alf Garnett Saga (1972) | Previous Next |
| Writer: Johnny Speight / Director: Bob Kellett / Producer: Ned Sherrin, Terry Glinwood | |
| Type: Sitcom Spin-off | Running Time: 87 mins |
| This review assumes a familiarity with the characters from the TV show.
(As seen at the end of the first film) Alf Garnett is now living on the top floor of a highrise block of flats with his wife Else, daughter Rita, and layabout son-in-law Mike. Alf continues to voice his outspoken views but none of his family take him very seriously anymore. There is not really much of an actual story, but these are some of the things that happen :- The country is suffering from regular power cuts which always seem to occur at inopportune moments. Alf's neighbour is an easy-going bank manager called Mr Frewin with whom he commutes to work. Mr Frewin forbids his timid wife to do the shopping or any housework no matter how much she pleads and he insists on doing everything himself. Mrs Frewin considers it a treat to go to the supermarket and envies Else whose husband Alf lets her do everything. Mike is carrying on with a young bird and Rita finds out and becomes miffed. In retaliation she goes to a nightclub and allows herself to be picked up by the black singer Kenny Lynch. Kenny is rich and successful and allows Rita the use of his chauffeured Rolls Royce. Alf cannot believe that his own daughter is carrying on with a black man. Rita's connections even get her a seat in the director's box at Alf's favourite football club West Ham United where she mixes with celebrities. Rita and Mike make up. Alf accidentally takes some drugs that Mike hid in the fridge and has a wild trip in which he imagines that Else is Julie Ege and that he is the sailing chum of his favourite politician Edward Heath; and he even becomes matey with black people down at the pub. The film ends in slapstick with Alf covered in fire extinguisher foam when a bed fire caused by his pipe has to be put out. | |
| Starring: | Warren Mitchell (as Alf Garnett), Dandy Nichols (as Else Garnett, his wife), Adrienne Posta (as Rita, his daughter), Paul Angelis (as Mike, Rita's husband), John Le Mesurier (as Ronald Frewin, Alf's neighbour) |
| Featuring: | Patsy Byrne (as Mrs Frewin, Ronald's wife), Tom Chadbon (as Jim, Mike's friend) |
| Familiar Faces: | (single scene appearances) Roy Kinnear (as Wally, Alf's workmate), John Bird (as Willis, Alf's neighbour), Roy Hudd (as Milkman), Joan Sims (as Gran, Else's mother), Derek Griffiths (as Rex, drug dealer) |
| Star-Turns: | (as themselves): Kenny Lynch , Eric Sykes, Arthur Askey, Max Bygraves, Bobby Moore, George Best |
| Starlets: | Margaret Heald and Patricia Quinn (as Mike and Jim's birds), Cleo Sylvestre (as Bus Conductress), Julie Ege (as Herself in Alf's drug-induced vision, [non-speaking cameo]) |
| NOTES: | |
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Based on the popular BBC sitcom entitled Till Death Us Do Part that was made and set in the 1960s and 1970s. There were 54 episodes from 1965 to 1975. The series came back on ITV for 6 episodes in 1981 entitled Till Death .... And then the characters were revived on the BBC again for a further 47 episodes in a series entitled In Sickness and in Health from 1985 to 1992. |
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This was the second spin-off film from the TV series - the first one was Till Death Us Do Part (1969). That first film used the full TV cast - however this second film recast the parts of Alf's daughter and son-in-law as originally played by Una Stubbs and Anthony Booth. |
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The celebrities featured are playing themselves and appear in acting roles interacting with Alf and co. Politicians Edward Heath and Harold Wilson are seen as well but those two are spliced in from archive footage. |
| Writer: Bill Naughton (based on his own play) / Director/Producer: Lewis Gilbert | |
| Type: Drama | Running Time: 108 mins |
| Alfie Elkins is a cockney Londoner whose approach to life is arrogantly self-centred in his relationships with women whom he treats as if they were things and refers to all women as "it" rather than "she". Despite this he is immensely successful with women who find his calm and confident demeanour to be a strong appeal. He makes women happy and has a life philosophy of not causing anyone any unnecessary unhappiness - but he cannot feel or express strong emotions of love in return and prefers to be a casual user of women who rarely stays in any one relationship for very long. He is not callous though and shows concern and loyalty when women in his life need his help although he feels awkward and uncomfortable at such times. He clearly has an inner soft spot which he is reluctant to show and steers clear of making commitments which will end the advantages he sees in his gallivanting style of life.
As the story unfolds we see Alfie in a sort of relationship with a stand-by girlfriend called Gilda who adores Alfie and is always disappointed he doesn't show her long term commitment. But despite this she prefers to stay with him rather than go with another suitor called Humphrey who has a puppy love for her but knows he will always be second choice to Alfie. Gilda becomes pregnant by Alfie and he is supportive to certain extents - he doesn't insist she get rid of it and tells her it is up to her. She decides to go through with her pregnancy and has their baby son whom she calls Charlie. Alfie becomes very fond of the boy over the first year or so but will not make home with Gilda and sees her only at the weekends - she is in a quandary since she really wants the boy to have a proper father and so she eventually chooses dependability over love and decides to accept Humphrey's offer of marriage and his willingness to take on her son as his own. Alfie takes a job as a limousine driver and picks up a young hitchhiker who briefly lives with him but he treats her with such disregard while she tries her best to please him domestically that she eventually walks out on him. Then a past fling with a married lady called Lily catches up when she has fallen pregnant by him and because her husband is in a TB sanatorium she couldn't possibly tell him it was he who was the father - so she asks for Alfie's help in arranging for a back-street abortionist. The doctor carries out the procedure at Alfie's flat and when Alfie sees the aborted foetus it deeply affects him and moves him to tears. He also sees Gilda and Humphrey out and about with their own new baby child and his own son Charlie all together as a happy family unit and looks with introspective lament at them knowing that he could have been part of that if he was a different sort of person. He decides to cheer himself up with an older American lady he has a relationship with and pays her an unannounced visit with a kind of feeling that maybe she is someone he could settle down with - but he discovers her with another man and when he asks her what this other man has got over him she tells him the new man is younger. With these various knocks to his ego brought about largely by his own lifestyle choices he contemplates his current stage in life and whether he has made the best decisions and questions "What's it all about?" | |
| Starring: | Michael Caine (as Alfie Elkins), Julia Foster (as Gilda, Alfie's girlfriend), Jane Asher (as Annie, hitchhiker), Vivien Merchant (as Lily, married woman who gets abortion) |
| Featuring: | Shelley Winters (as Ruby, American lady), Millicent Martin (as Siddie, married lady), Shirley Anne Field (as Carla, nurse at TB sanatorium), Eleanor Bron (as The Doctor, diagnosing Alfie's illness), Denholm Elliott (as The Abortionist), Alfie Bass (as Harry Clamacraft, TB patient, Lily's husband), Graham Stark (as Humphrey, Gilda's suitor), Murray Melvin (as Nat, Alfie's friend) |
| Familiar Faces: | (uncredited roles) Tony Selby (Lorry driver), Queenie Watts (pub singer) |
| NOTES: | |
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There was sequel to this film called Alfie Darling (1975) although it does not feel much like a sequel because the lead character is played in such a different way. In that film Alfie Elkins is played by Alan Price and has a Northern accent rather than a London one and that Alfie does not have the same sense of style. His job in that film is a long distance lorry driver which it would be hard to imagine Michael Caine's Alfie contemplating. |
| Alfie Darling (1975) | Previous Next |
| Book: Bill Naughton / Writer/Director: Ken Hughes / Producer: Dugald Rankin | |
| Type: Drama | Running Time: 97 mins |
| Alfie Elkins is a long distance lorry driver making regular deliveries to the continent in a 32-tonner truck with his co-driving cab-mate friend Bakey. Alfie is a serial womaniser and has many regular local women aligned on his various routes who are always delighted to see him when he stops off to see them for some sex. Bakey is used to his friend's addictive excesses and has developed a resigned air of acceptance whenever Alfie wants to take a diversion to see a regular or pursue a new bird that takes his fancy.
On their latest delivery to Rouen, they have just dropped off a girl hitchhiker whom Alfie has been getting friendly with in the cab bunks, when Alfie's head is turned by a beautiful blonde haired woman overtaking them in a red sports car and he good-naturedly honks and toots her but she doesn't play the game and they eventually lose her. After an overnight stopover where he renews his acquaintance with the wife of a French café owner they head back home and on the Normandy Ferry he spots the sporty blonde again and seizes the opportunity to chat her up. Her name is Abby and she tells him she works for Travel World magazine but she politely displays her lack of interest in him resenting his obvious view of her as a bird to be chatted up and laid and he gets no further with her. Bakey is philosophical and although he has never known Alfie to fail with a girl before he tells him he can't win them all - but Alfie has a different view and considers this girl to be something rather special and makes a bet with Bakey that he'll get this girl in the end - even if it takes a whole week! Back in London Alfie has many women on call all of whom are quite aware that they are not the only one and to not expect any emotional attachment from him. One of his regulars is a married woman called Fay who welcomes his company while her husband is away on trips to Birmingham and needs him to provide the physical side of things that her husband is lacking in. A new week starts and Alfie decides to begin his pursuit of Abby's favour. He feigns a back-injury to get a couple of days off work and finds the offices where Abby's magazine is published. It turns out that she is the editor and an important and busy woman and although he turns on the charm she continues to brush him off - she is fairly tolerant of his continual persistence and lets him down lightly claiming her busy schedule doesn't allow her any time and gives him examples of her appointments over the next few days each time he suggests a day for a date and he eventually leaves thwarted by her resistance. But Alfie now knows her appointments for the next few days and he turns up while she is out-and-about organising a photo-shoot and she finally mellows and relents to a date and takes him back to her apartment. They go to bed together to have sex but unaccountably he cannot perform. He doesn't know what's wrong with him and likens it to being a cripple - he gets angry and immediately gets dressed to leave and Abby feels hurt that Alfie can find no use for her company other than to have sex with - she tells him she doesn't normally do this sort of thing and after he has been pursuing her so relentlessly he has now made her feel like an only-good-for-one-thing whore. Alfie goes to see Fay to test himself out and is vigorously able once again and he can't figure what has made the difference. Explaining his problem to Fay she suggests that maybe he loves this girl - he thinks she is being ridiculous but she tells him he is so fixed in his way of life that he doesn't know the difference between love and lust. After considering this Alfie meets up with Abby again to apologise for his previous behaviour and she agrees to meet up with him again. This time he romances her properly with conversation and dinner and he says something to her that he's never said to a girl before - he tells her he loves her. She tells him she loves him back and behind the laddish exterior he is actually the most romantic and sentimental man she's ever met. Their whirlwind romance results in a marriage proposal and they make plans to get married as soon as she gets back from her next quick assignment in Rome. She flies off from Heathrow and he arranges to pick her up on her return the next morning when they will get married. In a dizzy-world of his own and possibly truly happy for the first time in his life, Alfie eagerly looks forward to her return and the next morning drives to the airport to meet her. But he hasn't been listening to the news since Abby left the day before and when he turns on his car radio he hears that there was a tragic plane crash yesterday - and as the details of the flight are read out in the bulletin he slowly realises with growing trepidation that the plane that crashed was Abby's outward bound flight to Rome that went down in Maidstone 20 minutes after take-off - there were no survivors. He drives to Maidstone to visit the wreckage and feels empty as he sobs in despair at his loss. The End. | |
| Starring: | Alan Price (as Alfie Elkins), Jill Townsend (as Abby Summers), Paul Copley (as Bakey) |
| Featuring: | Joan Collins (as Fay, married woman), Sheila White (as Norma, London girlfriend), Rula Lenska (as Louise, French café waitress), Roger Lumont (as Pierre, Louise's husband), Hannah Gordon (as Dora) Annie Ross (as Claire, Alfie's neighbour) |
| Familiar Faces: | Brian Wilde (as Doctor), Patsy Kensit (as Penny, Dora's daughter) |
| Starlets: | Vicki Michelle (as Hitchhiker), Minah Bird (as Gloria, Bakey's fiancée), Jenny Hanley (as Abby's Receptionist), Rosalind Elliot (as Abby's Secretary), Jennifer Guy (as a party guest) |
| NOTES: | |
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Although considered a sequel to Alfie (1966) the character in this film has only negligible similarities to Michael Caine's character. It is obviously intended as a sequel in that the character in both films is named "Alfie Elkins", they are both serial womanisers, and both are based on books by Bill Naughton. But whilst the original Alfie was a Londoner, this one has a regional accent (Leeds?) and has taken up a profession that it would have been hard to picture the original Alfie considering. This character actually seems to owe more to Robin Askwith's Timothy Lea than Michael Caine's Alfie - in fact if the character had been given a different name and the film called "Confessions of a Long Distance Lorry-Driver" instead I don't think anyone would have even noticed any similarities to the Alfie film. So while it may be an adaptation of a book sequel it is not really a "proper" sequel to the original film although it works well enough as a stand-alone film despite that. It's strange that they didn't cast a similar actor in the role to at least match Caine's accent - whether this was because the original Alfie film did it "wrong" and this film was correcting that, or some other reason I don't know - one has to assume that Naughton was consistent in his books so one or the other of the two films must have been askew in its casting. |
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Patsy Kensit appeared in a cameo role playing Hannah Gordon's 7-year-old daughter. Her surname was spelt "Kensitt" in the credits. |
| Alfred the Great (1969) | Previous Next |
| Writers: Ken Taylor, James R. Webb / Director: Clive Donner / Producer: Bernard Smith | |
| Type: Historical Drama | Running Time: 116 mins |
| Set in the 9th century in the nation that will become England but which currently consists of a number of small kingdoms which have come under attack from Danish invaders. It is the year 871 and 22-year-old Prince Alfred of Wessex has grown weary of battle and decided to become a priest even though he is considered a great strategist. His elder brother Ethelred is king after their two oldest brothers died in battle. Ethelred is sickly and unsuited to the task of leading men and so when the Danes invade Wessex the noblemen turn to Alfred to lead them. Alfred reluctantly abandons his plans to enter the priesthood and returns to command the army to defend the king.
Alfred devises a clever strategy that leads the overconfident Danes into an ambush and their survivors have to retreat back to their stronghold in the land they conquered in East Anglia. Their leader Guthrum vows to have his revenge. In the events that follow, Ethelred succumbs to illness and dies and Alfred becomes king; he marries Aelhswith the daughter of the king of nearby Mercia and signs a treaty with them to fight together against the Danes. When Mercia is conquered by the Danes Alfred decides he must seek to make peace with Guthrum and sign a pact. He pays a bounty to Guthrum on the agreement that neither side will attack the other. Fortunes decline for Alfred and his kingdom, he behaves like a tyrant towards his noblemen inventing laws on a whim and then punishing them harshly for transgressing those laws - he loses the nobles' support and with it the men they command. So when the Danes break their agreement and attack Alfred's kingdom, the forces of Wessex are ill-prepared and easily defeated. The Danes take over the running of his kingdom and cleverly tax the noblemen less than the poor to lessen the chance of an organised rebellion. Several years pass in which Alfred goes on the run and joins an outlaw gang. Alfred slowly starts to organise a new force to repel the Danes. He studies battle formation tactics he read about in the monastery's library that had proved successful in the past for small armies facing stronger opposition. He puts out word for his former noblemen to join with him once more to repel the Danes. But most of them have seen their standard of living rise under Danish rule and need persuading. So Alfred tells them of his plans to unite England under one rule with a book of laws that every man will be equally and fairly subject to and that not even the king can break on a whim. His words convince them and they join his side. Alfred's men are heavily outnumbered and far less well equipped but the tactics that Alfred has learned overcome the odds and the Danes are defeated and Guthrum captured. Alfred is reunited with his wife and his now four-year-old son. (And as the end-caption tells us) Alfred goes on to realise his dream of a united England and becomes known with the epitome "... The Great". | |
| Starring: | David Hemmings (as Alfred), Michael York (as Guthrum, leader of the Danish warriors), Prunella Ransome (as Aelhswith, Alfred's wife), Colin Blakely (as Asher, a monk), Ian McKellen (as Roger, leader of the bandits that Alfred joins) |
| Featuring: | Peter Vaughan (as Burrud, King of Mercia, father of Aelhswith), Sinéad Cusack (as Edith, Aelhswith's lady in waiting), Alan Dobie (as Ethelred, Alfred's elder brother), Julian Glover (as Shrdlu), Vivien Merchant (as Freda, Roger's woman), Julian Chagrin (as Ivar, Danish warrior) |
| Familiar Faces: | Christopher Timothy (Nobleman), Robin Askwith (Shepherd, [cameo non-speaking part, he sees the Danes arrive in opening scene]) |
| Writer/Director: William Sterling / Producer: Derek Horne | |
| Type: Fantasy Adventure / Musical | Running Time: 91 mins |
| In the 1920s on a hot summer's day young Alice Liddle and her two sisters are on a boating picnic with a family friend called Charles Dodgson and one of his pals. Dodgson is a natural storyteller and while they are all relaxing on the riverbank Dodgson decides to amuse his companions with a made-up story featuring Alice...
The film then follows a faithful enough retelling of the well-known children's classic with the inquisitive Alice pursuing a large white rabbit down its burrow and finding herself in a strange and wonderful land. She wanders around having a series of bewildering encounters with a varied assortment of peculiar animal creatures and people. She takes their strange habits and attitudes in her stride as she tours around looking for a way back home. Eventually Alice finds she is still by the riverbank and had at some point dozed off during Dodgson's story and has since been dreaming the events of her fantastic adventure. | |
| Comments: Because Alice has to be woken from her dreamy sleep we don't really know (in this film) how much of the tale was supposed to be Dodgson's story and how much was Alice's dream taking over. In real life Charles Dodgson was the real name of the writer Lewis Carroll who was the author of the novel upon which this film is based. | |
| Starring: | Fiona Fullerton (as Alice), Michael Crawford (as The White Rabbit) |
| Featuring: | (small roles, framing scenes only) Michael Jayston (as Charles Dodgson), Hywel Bennett (as Duckworth, Dodgson's friend) (Wonderland characters)Ralph Richardson (as The Caterpillar), Freddie and Frank Cox (as Tweedledum and Tweedledee) Peter Bull (as Duchess), Patsy Rowlands (as Cook), Roy Kinnear (as The Cheshire Cat) Robert Helpmann (as The Mad Hatter), Peter Sellers (as The March Hare), Dudley Moore (as The Dormouse) Flora Robson (as Queen of Hearts), Dennis Price (as King of Hearts), Rodney Bewes (as Knave of Hearts), Dennis Waterman (as Two of Spades), Ray Brooks (as Five of Spades) Spike Milligan (as The Gryphon), Michael Hordern (as The Mock Turtle) |
| NOTES: | |
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Based on the book by Lewis Carroll |
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The film features a whole host of famous names playing the Wonderland characters mostly in single scenes except for the White Rabbit who appears often during the film. Above is a selection of the more famous actors and/or better known characters. |
| Alien 2 Sulla Terra (1980) | Previous Next |
| Writer/Director/Producer: Sam Cromwell | |
| Type: European / Horror | Running Time: 81 mins |
| Thelma Joyce is team leader of a group of speleologists who specialise in exploring and studying ancient cave systems. Thelma's boyfriend Roy is another member of the team along with Burt, Bill, Jill, Cliff and Maureen. After doing a spot of media work they are returning to Colorado to continue the exploration of a vast cave system of which they have made a short preliminary foray to assess what equipment they will need. On the way they are keeping tabs with an inexplicable news story which involves the return of a space capsule to Earth with its astronauts missing. At a rest stop on the way Burt picks up a curious black rock he finds lying around. He gives it to Thelma who puts it in her backpack for later study. Thelma is currently recovering from an anxiety attack brought on by an extra-sensory sensitivity she has to danger but which often triggers false alarms causing her unnecessary distress.
The team reach the site gaining access to the caves through a narrow fissure as they make their way back to the crevasse ledge they reached on their initial reconnoitre. They climb down on ropes to the cavern floor below and set up tents for their camp. After a night's rest they split up into smaller teams to explore further and examine the weird and wonderful rock formations. Jill is with Thelma and notices that the black rock they picked up is undergoing an inexplicable metamorphism with its size fluctuating as though it were respiring. Then as Jill peers at it something leaps at her face and she falls down into a lower sublevel. Thelma rushes to get her teammates and together they descend on ropes to attempt a rescue or recovery. Remarkably Jill is still alive and unharmed albeit unconscious. She is hauled up on a stretcher by the lone winch man who remained above. But when she reaches the top Jill's face explodes and a creature leaps out killing the man too and loosing the ropes. To the horror of the cavers below they have seen two of their friends die and are now trapped in a sublevel with some sort of predatory parasitic creature on the loose. The remaining teammates split up into pairs to try and find another way out from the lower level. Slowly but surely the creature begins picking them off and killing them in grizzly fashions, although for some reason the creature does not kill Thelma even when it has the opportunity. She and Roy are the last two remaining alive and Roy speculates that perhaps something about her unusual mind is holding it back. Fortunately Thelma and Roy find a way back to the surface and escape the underground hell they found themselves in. They jump in the car and head to the city to report the threat and get specialist help in dealing with the monster. But as they approach the city the road is strangely deserted and in the city itself there is no one to be seen. Thelma and Roy search everywhere but all they find is evidence of more creatures like the one they faced in the cave. The black rocks must have fallen everywhere on Earth and spawned the deadly creatures which literally overnight have wiped out the human population. Roy soon falls victim too and Thelma comes to the terrifying realisation that she is the last human alive somehow injurious to attack because of her psychic shield and now totally alone in a world of monsters. THE END | |
| Comment: The early plot point about the missing astronauts does not really go anywhere or get explained, but presumably we must assume there was some sort of link to the arrival of the black rocks. | |
| Starring: | Belinda Mayne (as Thelma Joyce), Mark Bodin (as Roy) |
| Featuring: | Roberto Barrese, Benny Aldrich, Mychael Shaw, Judy Perrin, Don Parkinson, Claudio Falanga |
| NOTES: | |
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The version reviewed had Italian credits and dubbed Italian dialogue, but had the original English soundtrack was also available. It carried the title "Alien 2 Sulla Terra" which means "Alien 2 On Earth". It was clearly an attempt to associate itself as a sequel of sorts to Alien (1979) but was not official. It was a reasonably taught sci-fi horror in its own right and could have stood up alone without needing to link itself to the other film to which it in actual fact only has a passing resemblance. |
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It has been reviewed here because of the starring role for British actress Belinda Mayne. The credits do not include character names so it is not known which roles most of the other actors involved played. |
| All Coppers Are ... (1972) | Previous Next |
| Writer: Allan Prior / Director: Sidney Hayers / Producer: George H. Brown | |
| Type: Drama | Running Time: 84 mins |
| Joe, Barry and Sue meet at a mutual friends wedding reception party. Joe is a young hard-working London police constable married for a year and with a six-month old baby daughter - it is an era when policeman are thought of with suspicion and mistrust and he prefers not to advertise his "shameful" profession when off-duty. Barry is a petty crook with an easy going air who is hoping to hit a big score by hi-jacking a lorry consignment of tobacco from a warehouse and selling it to a local fence - he has carefully worked out the factory routine and knows precisely when to strike. Sue is a young woman who has had no luck with the men she meets - she always seems to fall in with the wrong sort who end up being crooks or a con-men and she would like to meet a nice normal man for a change.
The three of them meet up at the wedding and both men are attracted to Sue and they go off on a mini-soiree by themselves. Joe and Sue seem most attracted to one another and Barry is happy to stand aside - but they all seem to hit it off quite well knowing nothing about each others personal circumstances. Joe finds an excuse to slope off early from the reception and he and Sue go back to her flat and sleep together - she says that she thinks Barry might be a bit dodgy because she can tell the sort and she hopes that Joe is not like that. He doesn't tell her he is a policeman probably for fear that she'll think that is even worse than being a crook. It's not long though before Sue discovers he is married and a policeman and so she takes up with Barry instead and starts living with him. Barry tells her she should have nothing more to do with Joe - being a policeman he would be trouble for Barry which is his underlying reason for the warning - although Sue feels most aggrieved at Joe because he didn't tell her he was married - she still kind of likes him. And Barry's jovial air soon fades once they are a couple and she finds he has a harder side and realises she has yet again fallen in with the wrong sort of man. It is soon the day of Barry's planned solo tobacco heist and in the early daylight hours Barry has entered the factory and demanded the lorry keys at gunpoint from the driver. That same morning Joe is walking home in his police uniform after coming off a demanding night shift and spots the tobacco factory gates open which is unusual at such an early hour. Joe sees a man get into a lorry and stops him to ask what's going on. The man gets out abandoning his haul and Joe is shocked to see it is Barry who then makes a run for it. Joe gives chase and in-panic Barry turns and fires the two rounds of his shotgun directly into Joe's stomach - they look at each other in stunned silence at what has just happened and then Barry turns and makes his getaway. Joe seems mortally wounded and with his dying efforts sounds the alarm. And we are left watching Barry running away through the streets to the sound of police radio reports indicating the extensive efforts being brought into motion to catch him. The End. | |
| Comment: From watching the film it's not quite clear what the proper title of it is supposed to be. At the beginning the title is not seen as a caption but as a piece of graffiti on a wall saying "All Coppers Are" with the final word not filled in - then at the end of the film the graffiti wall is seen again with the word "bastards" added. | |
| Starring: | Martin Potter (as Joe, policeman), Julia Foster (as Sue), Nicky Henson (as Barry, crook) |
| Featuring: | Wendy Alnutt (as Peg, Joe's wife), Sandra Dorne (as Sue's mother), Glynn Edwards (as Jock, fella of Sue's mother), Ian Hendry (as Sonny Wade, fence), Carmel McSharry (Mrs Briggs, Barry's landlady), David Essex (as Ronnie Briggs, landlady's son), Robin Askwith (as Simmy, petty thief), Eddie Byrne (as barman), Queenie Watts (as barman's wife) |
| Starlets: | Nicola Davies (as Bride at wedding) |
| Writer: Hugh Whitemore / Director: Claude Whatham / Producers: David Susskind, Duane Bogie | |
| Type: Drama | Running Time: 87 mins |
| Set in the Yorkshire Dales starting in 1937. Newly qualified veterinarian James Herriot moves from London to start a new job as an assistant at a rural veterinarian practice owned by Siegfried Farnon. Siegfried runs the practice alone and needs a competent assistant to help share the workload. Siegfried is a fairly irascible character who runs his affairs in a state of barely organised chaos and doesn't readily embrace change.
The job mainly involves providing veterinary services for the farms in the area and James proves capable and starts settling into the job. There are some who believe he will soon tire of country living and be eager to return to the big city but James is determined to prove his doubters wrong. James is a fairly reserved character who doesn't mix well and this more sedate existence is much more suited to him. Siegfried's brother Tristan returns from college and James becomes somewhat anxious when he learns that Tristan is also studying to be a vet. James wonders if he will be out of a job when Tristan qualifies. However he soon realises that will not be any time soon because Tristan is a poor student who prefers partying to studying and he has repeatedly failed his exams. On his rounds James meets pretty farmer's daughter Helen Alderson who virtually runs her farm single-handedly for her widowered father. They are both quite shy but feel an instant attraction although it takes James a while to pluck up the courage to ask her out. James tries to impress her by taking her to a fancy restaurant but he lacks the verve to pull it off and things go badly. The date is an unmitigated disaster with them both feeling awkward and saying the wrong things which cause the other umbrage and they soon realise that they have made a mistake and are not suited. Tristan tries to help James come out of his shell by taking him out partying and arranging blind dates. James tries his best to have fun but he never finds someone who has that special quality he discovered in Helen. But he knows that relationship is a non-starter because he made such a foolish mess of their first and only date. But when they are reunited in the line of work they realise they still feel drawn to one another and decide to try again. This time their courtship goes more smoothly and they become a couple. After another year James asks to marry her and she agrees. As a wedding present Siegfried makes James a full partner in the practice. | |
| Comment: The main arc of the romance plot is plumped up with various mini-incidents of veterinary emergencies that James is called out to deal with. | |
| Starring: | Simon Ward (as James Herriot), Anthony Hopkins (as Siegfried Farnon), Lisa Harrow (as Helen Alderson), Brian Stirner (as Tristan Farnon, Siegfried's brother) |
| Featuring: | Brenda Bruce (as Miss Harbottle, practice secretary), Freddie Jones (as Cranford, farmer), T.P. McKenna (as Soames, farm manager), John Collin (as Mr Alderson, Helen's father), Christine Buckley (as Mrs Hall, Siegfried's housekeeper), John Nettleton (as Head Waiter), Daphne Oxenford (as Mrs Pumphrey, Chihuahua owner) |
| Starlets: | Glynne Geldart (as Joyce, Siegfried's girlfriend), Jane Collins and Jane Solo (as Connie and Brenda, double-date nurses) |
| NOTES: | |
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Based on the book by James Herriot |
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This film had a follow-up It Shouldn't Happen to a Vet (1975). However all of the lead roles except for Lisa Harrow's were recast. |
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The BBC series of All Creatures Great And Small which began in 1978 was based on the same book by James Herriot although there was no other direct connection. |
| Writers: Jane Gaskell, Hugh Whitemore / Director: Christopher Morahan / Producer: Leon Clore | |
| Type: Drama | Running Time: 94 mins |
| Ginger is a jack-the-lad window cleaner who is always looking for opportunities to pull a tasty bird. He lives in a run-down tenement in the room next to his best friend Dwyer. He and Dwyer are "plonkers" which means they share everything including their women, whom they freely pass on or deflect for the other if something better comes along.
While out at the pub with his latest bird called Babette, he spots another cracker of a girl called Jill out with her mate Carole. He starts to chat to her - much to the annoyance of Babette who soon drags him onto the dance floor and by the time they return the other two girls have left. Ginger quickly passes Babette on to Dwyer and sets about trying to find Jill again by looking out for her while on his window cleaning rounds. He eventually spots her mate Carole coming out of her workplace and decides his best approach to Jill would be via her. So he goes out on a date with Carole and through her meets up with Jill again and starts going out with her. Jill is in a different class to his normal sorts - she is shy and inexperienced and relies on him for guidance and consequently he finds it hard to take the normal liberties he would with a girl he's dating. Ginger believes he has found that special girl whom he plans upon treating with proper respect and consideration and certainly not one to share around with Dwyer. Jill lives with her widowed mother who is somewhat stuffy and formal towards Ginger, only grudgingly accepting him as her daughter's boyfriend. When they go to a party at a house Ginger is minding for a friend of his, Ginger asks Dwyer to look after Jill while he goes to sort out some rowdy guests and when he returns he finds that Dwyer has bedded Jill. Dwyer apologises not realising she was that "special" one he'd talked about and thought he'd wanted her taken off his hands. Jill had been confused thinking that it was expected of her since Ginger had spoken to her of his plonking. Jill becomes pregnant after this and Ginger offers to do the decent thing and marry her - they don't tell Dwyer the expectant baby is his. They marry and Ginger moves in to live with Jill and her mother because they haven't enough to get a nice place of their own and Jill doesn't want to live somewhere squalid. The mother makes the most of Ginger being around and feigns poor health so he'll wait on her in the months leading up to the birth. Jill has her baby and reminds Ginger how grateful she is for taking her on with another man's baby and how much she loves him. She promises to economise so that they can afford their own place as soon as possible and she seems really keen to make a good go of their marriage. While Jill is still convalescing in hospital Ginger seems to come to a realisation of what he's letting himself in for and gets blindingly drunk. He goes home to Jill's mother's place and she scolds him for getting drunk and coming home late - he gets annoyed with her and pushes her down onto the couch and he suddenly sees in her eyes a needful look of loneliness and desire and proceeds to make love to her. Next morning mother is full of frisky good cheer and keen to do him little favours. When Jill arrives home with the baby she doesn't understand what's going on with her mother's change of attitude towards Ginger who seems to prefer mother's pampering and has hardly noticed she's back. With the reality of a baby and married life now squarely with him Ginger goes out to a café to contemplate things - he spots a pretty waitress and starts chatting her up, slipping neatly back into his old ways. THE END | |
| Comment: There are some other plots elements that play out which mainly involve Ginger's sister and her wayward husband when they move into the big house that Ginger is minding for a hospitalised old-timer mate of his - but in the final analysis they don't impact heavily on the main romance plot so I've not attempted to weave them in to the above summary. The closing stages of the movie from the birth of the baby onwards seem a bit rushed and don't appear as well thought out or presented as the set-up making it a bit hard to make a clear rationalisation of the latter events. | |
| Starring: | Victor Henry (as Ginger), Susan George (as Jill), Jack Shepherd (as Dwyer), Clare Kelly (as Jill's Mother) |
| Featuring: | Anna Cropper (as Sis, Ginger's sister Cicely), Harry Towb (as Issur, Cicely's husband), Vanessa Forsyth (as Carole, Jill's friend), Jasmina Hamzavi (as Babette, Ginger's date), Terence de Marney (as Old Gunge, old man in hospital whose house Ginger is looking after) |
| Starlets: | Nita Lorraine (as Jocasta, Issur's girlfriend), Deirdre Costello (as Girl that Ginger takes off Dwyer's hands), Gwendolyn Watts (as young housewife on Ginger's window cleaning rounds), Christine Pryor (as Cafe waitress) |
| NOTES: | |
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Based on the novel by Jane Gaskell |
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The word "Plonker" is defined by Ginger (when Jill asks him) as "someone who shares his crumpet with his mates" (I've assumed the spelling). The term has of course gone on to have a different meaning (thanks to the 1980s sitcom Only Fools And Horses) as someone who does something stupid. It therefore makes it a bit retrospectively odd to hear the two friends in this movie freely referring to themselves with this term. |
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The title of the movie doesn't really have much of a bearing on the story as a whole. It is presumably drawn from the moment Ginger first meets Jill - he drops some loose change in a pub and while he's picking it up under a table he sees some black stockinged legs which he likes the look of and when he checks out the wearer he sees Jill for the first time and instantly takes a liking. |
| All the Right Noises (1969) | Previous Next |
| Writer/Director: Gerry O'Hara / Producers: John Quested, Si Litvinoff | |
| Type: Drama | Running Time: 87 mins |
| Len Lewin is a 32-year-old electrician who specialises in providing lighting services to film soundstages and theatre productions. Len lives in a flat where he is happily married with two young children. His wife Joy is an actress, although now with the children to look after she only finds time to fit in the occasional acting job doing commercials.
Len is offered a few weeks work at a London theatre to cover until the end of the West End run of a touring musical. Len is very friendly and personable and he gets talking to a bubbly young supporting actress in the company called Val. After the evening's performance he finds her waiting outside for a date who has failed to show and in the spirit of good-natured chivalry he offers to see her safely home. They go to a pub first for a drink and enjoy each others company immensely. Len is the perfect gentleman with his amiable conversation and Val is a powerhouse of openly happy energy, vitality and enthusiasm for her chosen career. She chats away with a charming and effervescent quality that it is impossible not to like as they engage in playful banter throughout the evening and on the subsequent tube train journey to her home town of Uxbridge where she lives with her parents. Walking across the park towards her house Len finds he has become so enchanted by her, and she enamoured of him, that they start kissing and end up having sex outside on the grass under the cover of darkness. Len gets home late and feels very guilty about what he's done because he loves his wife - but Val had been such a compelling young woman it just seemed to happen. Next day there is an afternoon performance of the show and Len is flabbergasted to see Val turn up in a school uniform! She tells him she is in stage school and has to come straight from classes when there is a matinee. She looks so much younger dressed like this and he asks her age and she shamefacedly admits she is a month shy of her sixteenth birthday. She apologises for not telling him before but she doesn't feel that young and thinks she has fallen in love with him. He tells her that because of her age what happened cannot happen again. But despite himself Len continues to see her socially because they both find each others company so entertaining and when the London leg of the tour ends he signs on for the next three weeks of the tour in Manchester and Liverpool so they can spend more time with one another. Len being away from home on a theatre tour is not so unusual and Joy decides to use the opportunity to pick up some work herself and accepts a job on a commercial in Majorca that is expected to last well over a week - leaving the children with her mother. The musical's tour goes well and with performances in the evening Len and Val are able to spend the daytimes together taking in the sights and having fun like a young and carefree courting couple. They are in separate lodgings and so the opportunity to really be together isn't available. But between weeks when the tour moves locations they travel back to London to spend one night together in Len's flat while he knows his wife is away filming in Spain. They sleep together but without having sex and next morning are very lucky because Joy's job has finished earlier than expected and she returns home only a few minutes after Val has left (going first so they are not seen together by neighbours). Len explains his unexpected presence by telling Joy he came back home for a day because he was bored with his lodgings and wanted a brief change of scenery. She suspects nothing and is just happy to see him. The next week in Liverpool Len and Val continue with their happy-go-lucky daytime companionship - but then Val tells him she has started to feel sick in the mornings and thinks she may be pregnant from that one and only time in the park on the night they met. He tells her he'll make some arrangements and she can quietly go off for a few days and have a termination. But it turns out to be a false alarm and she has her period very late. As the three-week tour comes to a close they both begin to realise that without a legitimate reason for them to easily meet their relationship cannot go on. Len still loves his wife and Val is just too young for him. She wishes he could have come into her life five years later instead as he seems the perfect man - but she is happy with her memories and he will always be the template against which she judges the boys and men that she subsequently meets. Len goes home to his unsuspecting wife and resumes his normal life. Joy finds a hair ribbon in the flat which is not hers and briefly wonders what may have gone on that day when Len returned to the flat but prudently decides to say nothing. | |
| Starring: | Tom Bell (as Len Lewin), Olivia Hussey (as Val), Judy Carne (as Joy Lewin, Len's wife) |
| Featuring: | Robert Keegan (as Len's father), John Standing (as Nigel, friend of Len and Joy), Lesley-Ann Down (as Laura, actress in musical) |
| Familiar Faces: | Yootha Joyce (as Mrs Bird, chaperone, [small role]), Rudolph Walker (as TV Studio labourer, [cameo]) |
| Starlets: | Chrissie Shrimpton (as Waitress, very brief cameo) |
| All the Way Up (1970) | Previous Next |
| Writer/Producer: Philip Mackie / Director: James MacTaggart | |
| Type: Comedy | Running Time: 93 mins |
| Fred Midway is a highly ambitious social climber who is always on the lookout for opportunities to improve his professional status to snobbishly impress his neighbours. He works as a salesman for Starlight Assurances and has just had his immediate superior dismissed by means of an anonymous letter to the managing director exposing an illicit affair. The company is managed by Mr Driver who steadfastly holds high the company's exacting standards of faultless morality which extend not only to the employee but to all members of his family. Mr Driver gives Fred the executive position of Area Supervisor but warns him that for a trial period he will be keeping close tabs on him to be sure there are no family scandals.
At home Fred's ambitious ways permeate the entire family ethos and his grown up children's jobs and relationships are carefully considered to further their family status. Daughter Avril is married to Nigel who stands in line to inherit a large factory from his unmarried and childless uncle Mr Makepiece. Avril has been withdrawing Nigel's conjugal rites until he has ensured that his uncle has definitely nominated him in his will. And Fred's other daughter Eileen is the personal assistant to a managing director of an engineering company. The one loose cannon is Fred's son Tom who is more interested in motorbikes than presenting a respectable image. Nevertheless Fred's sentiment has rubbed off on Tom who is pursuing certain ambitious avenues of his own. Tom's secret girlfriend Daphne has just learned she is pregnant and together they cook up a plan that she will flirt with the lecherous Mr Makepiece and after sleeping with him will convince him the pregnancy is down to him. The scheme works as planned and Mr Makepiece announces his engagement to her. However this destabilises the marriage between Avril and Nigel because if his uncle has a child then Nigel won't inherit the company and Avril considers this to be a disastrous development. Lack of sex causes Nigel to go off the rails and he visits stripclubs and prostitutes and his marriage to Avril seems doomed which would be an immense social embarrassment. Meanwhile Fred discovers that Eileen is having an illicit affair with her married boss which could create another family scandal. These matters would be taken very seriously by Mr Driver and Fred would lose his job and so he has to shrewdly juggle matters to keep things private and get the situation back on an even keel. Fred appears to have things carefully sewn up when Mr Driver returns from a business trip to give his assessment of Fred's probationary performance. But at the last moment Fred's carefully engineered fixes begin to unravel and he seems to be headed for disaster until he correctly guesses that Mr Driver himself may have been indiscreet with his statuesque female chauffeur and thus manages to secure his position. | |
| Starring: | Warren Mitchell (as Fred Midway), Pat Heywood (as Hilda, his wife), Elaine Taylor (as Eileen, daughter), Kenneth Cranham (as Tom, son), Vanessa Howard (as Avril Hadfield, married daughter), Richard Briers (as Nigel Hadfield, son-in-law), Adrienne Posta (as Daphne Dunmore, Tom's girlfriend) |
| Featuring: | Bill Fraser (as Arnold Makepiece, Nigel's uncle), Frank Thornton (as Mr Driver, Fred's boss), Terence Alexander (as Bob Chickman, Eileen's boss), Lally Bowers and Clifford Parrish (as Nigel's parents) |
| Starlets: | Valerie Leon (as Miss Hardwick, Mr Driver's chauffeur), Janet Montana (as Striptease Dancer) |
| aka: I Wanna Be a Beauty Queen! | |
| Director/Producer: Richard Gayor | |
| Type: Documentary | Running Time: 82 mins |
| A documentary feature covering an extravaganza known as Andrew Logan's Miss World which was a beauty pageant open to both men and women - although all of them dress in women's clothing. As with the regular Miss World contest there were three rounds consisting of daywear, swimwear and eveningwear. The contestants were encouraged to be as daring and extravagant as possible in their choice of attire because the contest was judged on personality and originality.
The contest featured in this video was from the late 1970s and took place in a big tent on Clapham Common. It drew a big audience many of whom dressed equally as extravagantly as those taking part. The judges included Joan Bakewell, Lionel Bart, Duggie Fields, Michael Fish, Zandra Rhodes and Eric Roberts and the contestant interviews were conducted by the diva known as Divine. The video includes the voiceover comments of some gossipy commentators who offer up titbits of information whilst the contestants are parading on the stage. | |
| Featuring: | Andrew Logan (Master of Ceremonies), Divine (Guest of Honour/Interviewer), Nell Campbell (Song Performer) |
| Also: | (contestants) Sophie Parkin (Miss Wildlife), Nigel Adey (Miss Wolverhampton Municipal Baths), Richard De Velasco (Miss Penn), John Thomas (Miss Little Egypt), Rosemary Gibb (Miss Piss), Rebecca Du Pont De Bie (Miss Cherry Cocktail), Jenny Runacre (Miss Slightly Misanthropic), Stevie Hughes (Miss Carriage - Miss Linda Carriage), James Birch (Miss Consumer Products), Sarah Parkin (Miss Marilyn), Gerlinde Von Regensburg (Miss Proposition), Joanie DeVereHunt (Miss Moonshine), Jill Bruce (Miss Earth), John Maybury (Miss Winscale Nuclear Reactor), Emma Harrison (Miss Snow White), William Waldron (Miss Cruella Cardinale), Janet Slee & John Hopwood (Mishandled and Assistant), Stephen Holt, Bob Anthony, Maurice of Modern Art, Bobby Claridge, Lynn O'Liam (Miss Browse & Queens) |
| NOTES: | |
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The version reviewed carried the title I Wanna Be a Beauty Queen! which was the American title |
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The video included the Australian actress and singer Little Nell (aka Nell Campbell) performing a bolted-on opening song but this is a specially filmed sequence that is not part of the ceremonies and she does not appear again. |
| Alvin Purple (1973) | Previous Next |
| Writer: Alan Hopgood / Director/Producer: Tim Burstall | |
| Type: Australian / Sex Comedy | Running Time: 92 mins |
| Alvin Purple has a problem - women find him irresistible. As a schoolboy he was plagued by the girls in his class who would fight over him and chase him home and even his schoolmaster's wife initiates an affair with him. As he grows older he finds it hard to hold down a steady job because of his problem - one job he tries is installing water beds but the women customers just throw themselves at him. Wherever he goes he can't help thinking about sex - he even sees clothed women naked in his imagination and wants it all to stop so he can have a normal life
So he visits a psychiatrist called Dr Liz Sort for some treatment. She is young and eager to help but finds herself strangely drawn to him herself. So her male colleague Dr McBurney takes over Alvin's case and tells him that there is absolutely nothing wrong with him - his behaviour is quite normal for a man of his age and all that he requires is some vocational guidance. So McBurney employs Alvin to act as his sexual therapist. He sends some of his troubled women patients along to Alvin who provides them with a sexual service to work out their frustrations and needs. But Liz finds out about this arrangement and in jealousy leaks the story to the media. The press coverage of McBurney's unorthodox treatment practices creates a public scandal and he is exposed as a fraud and charlatan who was never really a psychiatrist at all - in fact his real motives had been to secretly film Alvin's "sessions" and sell them for vast sums of money as blue movies to stag parties. Alvin is depicted as a modern day Casanova and is put on trial for his part in the deception but is cleared when it is proven he was not aware of McBurney's real motives and was sleeping with the women patients with what he believed the best intentions. After escaping from an angry mob of husbands of those women he "treated" he finally gets a job as a gardener in a nunnery where he can be free of insatiable women. | |
| Links: There was a sequel to this film called Alvin Rides Again (1974). Graeme Blundell also reprised his role in a 1976 TV series entitled "Alvin Purple" which lasted for 13 x 30 minute episodes; and again in a lesser capacity in a 1984 film called Melvin, Son of Alvin which was about his son. | |
| Starring: | Graeme Blundell (as Alvin Purple), Penne Hackforth-Jones (as Dr. Liz Sort) |
| Featuring: | Jill Forster (as Mrs. Horwood, the teacher's wife), Alan Finney (as Spike Dooley, Alvin's friend), Ellie Maclure (as Tina), George Whaley (as Dr. McBurney), Noel Ferrier (as The Judge) |
| Starlets: | Abigail, Lynette Curran, Christine Amor, Dina Mann, Jenny Hagen, Kris McQuade, Shara Berriman, Jacki Weaver, Eileen Chapman, Jan Friedl, Barbara Taylor, Anne Pendlebury, Debbie Nankervis, Elke Neidhart, Clare Balmford, Sally Conabere |
| Alvin Rides Again (1974) | Previous Next |
| aka: Foreplay the Prequel | |
| Writer: Alan Hopgood / Directors: David Bilcock, Robin Copping / Producer: Tim Burstall | |
| Type: Australian / Sex Comedy | Running Time: 87 mins |
| Following on from the events of the first film, Alvin Purple is still finding it hard to hold down a permanent job. He gets some temporary work as a window cleaner, taxi driver and an office cleaner but all his efforts are scuppered by women who unaccountably find him irresistible and give their all to him which he finds hard to resist and consequently gets sacked.
He cannot understand his continued misfortune and decides to go up North with his friend Spike to get away from it all. On the way their car breaks down and they hitch a lift from a coach carrying a women's cricketing team. The Luthor Hall Old Girls cricket team are playing against a men's team and when they look like losing Alvin and Spike help them out by dressing up as women and playing for them. This wins them a bet they had on the match and they take their winnings to a casino to play the tables. At the casino they meet a visiting US gangster called Balls McGee who by an amazing coincidence looks just like Alvin. When Balls is accidentally shot and killed his henchmen force Alvin to pose as Balls to conduct a deal with a local crime gangster Fingers. Fingers plans to rob the casino safe and Alvin (as Balls) and Spike find themselves caught up in it all and the machinations between the criminal factions and they end up fleeing for their lives chased by various maniacal crime bosses out for revenge. | |
| Links: This was a sequel to the film Alvin Purple (1973). Graeme Blundell also reprised his role in a 1976 TV series entitled "Alvin Purple" which lasted for 13 x 30 minute episodes; and again in a lesser capacity in a 1984 film called Melvin, Son of Alvin which was about his son. | |
| Starring: | Graeme Blundell (as Alvin Purple and Balls McGee), Alan Finney (Spike Dooley) |
| Featuring: | Gus Mercurio (as Jake, a hoodlum), Nat Levison (as Harry, a hoodlum) Jeff Ashby (as German gangster) Frank Thring (as Fingers), Noel Ferrier (as Gangster Boss) |
| Starlets: | Chantal Contouri, Judy Stevenson, Briony Behets, Candy Raymond, Abigail, Arna-Maria Winchester, Kris McQuade, Joy Thompson, Penne Hackforth-Jones, Debbie Nankervis, Dina Mann, Clare Balmford |
| Writer/Director: Lionel Jeffries / Producer: Barry Levinson | |
| Type: Ghost Story | Running Time: 94 mins |
| In 1918 the Allen family have fallen on hard times and are forced to sell their London town house and move into a small downbeat flat in Camden. The family consists of Mrs Allen and her two children, young teenager Lucy and her younger brother Jamie. Times look like they will be hard until a mysterious stranger comes to their door one snowy winter's day with an unsolicited job offer for Mrs Allen. His name is Mr Blunden and he tells them he represents a firm of solicitors who have in their custodianship a large property in Buckinghamshire and wish to offer Mrs Allen the job of caretaker. As well as a salary she and the children would have the rent-free occupancy of an adjacent cottage. Mr Blunden advises them that the villagers will tell tales of the place being haunted.
Mrs Allen accepts the position and she and her two children move to their new cottage near Langley Park mansion. The grand house has been unlived in for many years and is in a sad, neglected state. Next day Lucy and Jamie are in the garden when they see materialising out of the mist two children of similar ages to themselves. At first they think they are seeing ghosts but the newcomers are real to the touch. Their names are Sara and Georgie Latimer and they too are brother and sister and have a fantastic tale to tell. They lived in this mansion exactly 100 years ago in 1818 when it was a vibrant and lived-in home. Their parents had recently died and they were placed under the joint guardianship of their Uncle Bertie and (in absentia) the family solicitor Mr Blunden. Bertie proved to be a bad apple and sold off many family heirlooms to pay for his own exorbitant tastes. Then Bertie fell for and married a ditzy showgirl called Bella and she and her money-grabbing opportunistic mother Mrs Wickens came to live with them at Langley Park. But Bertie soon has bad news for his greedy new mother-in-law when he reveals that he does not have access to the bulk of the family wealth because that is locked up in trust for young Georgie until he becomes twenty-one. Unless Georgie were to die prior to that in which case it would go to Bertie. So the heartless Mrs Wickens decides the two Latimer children must be done away with. The pair of them overhear the adults plotting the use of slow insidious methods of keeping them undernourished and cold so they will grow feverish and perish. The children try writing to their other guardian Mr Blunden in London for his help saying they will run away if he doesn't do something for them - but Blunden is too busy and doesn’t take them seriously and instead exposes their concerns to Mrs Wickens as childish foolishness making escape then impossible. Then one night some mystery writing appears on their windows telling them to go to the library and they follow a trail which leads them to an old parchment describing an arcane recipe that when consumed will allow the drinker to travel through time. Sara and Georgie gather the ingredients and drink it and now here they are here 100 years in their future asking for the help of Lucy and Jamie. The 1818 children tell Lucy and Jamie the ingredients so they can concoct their own version of the potion. Lucy and Jamie find out that Sara and Georgie are destined to die the very next day in their past-time in a house fire. Their own Mr Blunden is the ghost of the 1818 version who is trying to redeem his past mistake of ignoring the children's plea for help and he has guided events to this point. Lucy and Jamie drink the potion and follow the other two back into past and it soon becomes clear that Mrs Wickens has grown tired of the slow-game and has drugged the children into sleep in their bedroom and has had a fire started in the rooms below to burn them to death. As things progress the 1918 children manage to help alter events so that the 1818 children are saved. They are aided by Thomas, a gardener's boy who is sweet on Sara, who was also destined to die while trying vainly to save them from the fire - but now he too survives. When Lucy and Jamie return to their own era things have altered and the 1818 children's graves are no longer there. Then unexpected news arrives from the London solicitors - some old paperwork has been uncovered which reveals that the Latimer family are actually direct descendants of the last owners of this house and so it is actually Mrs Allen's property along with a £500 annual income. Their ancestors were Sara and Thomas who had later become husband and wife and so the people that Lucy and Georgie had gone back in time to save had become their own great grandparents. | |
| Comment: If the whereabouts of the Allen father was mentioned I missed it but given the date it was set it is quite possible he was a soldier killed in action in the First World War. Something that did appear to go without direct explanation is who was behind the writing on the window that led the 1818 children to find the magic recipe in the library. One assumes it must have been Mr Blunden but I don't think this was specifically stated. | |
| Starring: | Laurence Naismith (as Mr Blunden), Dorothy Alison (as Mrs Allen), Lynne Frederick (as Lucy Allen), Garry Miller (as Jamie Allen), Rosalyn Landor (as Sara Latimer), Marc Granger (as Georgie Latimer) |
| Featuring: | Diana Dors (as Mrs Wickens, Bella's mother), James Villiers (as Uncle Bertie), Madeline Smith (as Bella, Bertie's wife), Stuart Lock (as Thomas), Deddie Davies (as Meakin, Maidservant), Graham Crowden (as Mr Clutterbuck), solicitor), Erik Chitty (as Mr Claverton, solicitor) |
| NOTES: | |
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Based on the novel The Ghosts by Antonia Barber. |
| Writer/Director: John Landis / Producer: George Folsey Jr | |
| Type: Horror | Running Time: 90 mins |
| Two happy go-lucky American students named David Kessler and Jack Goodman are on a three month hiking holiday around Europe and are currently taking in the North of England. Keeping to the roads that wind through the desolate moorlands they come to a small village called East Proctor. It is a foul evening and so they stop off at the pub - but the locals are not very welcoming and seem keen to see the two lads gone - although after they have departed some amongst them express their unease at letting the lads go out by themselves on the night of a full moon. The lads brave the bad weather but make the mistake of wandering over the moorlands instead of keeping to the road. They soon start hearing the noise of a wolf howling and realise they are being stalked by some sort of wild animal. Jack is suddenly attacked and killed by a hideous wolf-like man-creature and David runs for his life. The werewolf chases and wounds him but he is saved from further savaging by some of the locals who had a change of heart and shoot the beast dead before it has a chance to attack again. Just before he passes out from his injuries David sees the wolf laying dead but it is now a man.
David lays unconscious for three weeks and when he awakens he finds he has been transferred to a London hospital under the care of Dr Hirsch and Nurse Alex Price. The story the medical staff were told by the locals was that their patient was attacked by an escaped lunatic who had first killed his friend Jack. David's waking recollections of a giant wolfman are dismissed as being a bad dream by the doctors and David isn't too sure himself now. Left alone in his private hospital room David is visited by his dead friend Jack Goodman who explains that although dead his spirit is still trapped on Earth until the bloodline of the werewolf that killed him is destroyed. And unfortunately David has now inherited the werewolf curse through the injuries it inflicted on him. Jack urges David to kill himself before the night of the next full moon due in a week's time - David is really not sure if he is still dreaming or going mad and doesn't seriously believe what he's been told. David and Nurse Alex feel an enormous attraction and when he is discharged she offers him a place to stay at her house. They soon become lovers. Meanwhile Dr Hirsch travels up to East Proctor to look into some inconsistencies in the story told to him of how David came by his injuries and finds the locals very unwilling to help but discovers enough to believe David's werewolf story. Alex is at work on a nightshift and David has been left to his own devices - it is the night of the next full moon and as it gets dark David begins to uncontrollably change into a werewolf. The wolf roams London on a killing spree and David wakes up naked the next morning in a zoo completely unaware of how he got there or what happened to him the previous night. Dr Hirsch has told Alex about his discoveries and when she cannot contact him on the phone they get very worried. David eventually makes his way back to her place and appears to be back to normal. Dr Hirsch wants Alex to bring him to the hospital for tests but on the way David reads the newspaper reports of the wild animal murders the previous night and realises it must have been him and the werewolf curse is true. The period of the full moon lasts several days and so he knows it will happen again that evening and he panics and tries to hide himself away in a dark cinema. But the darkness does not help and the cinema is populated by the undead victims of his murder spree all urging him to kill himself so they can be free. He changes into the wolf again and emerges out into the busy London streets causing panic and mayhem. Eventually he is cornered down an alleyway by police. Alex braves it and goes in alone to try and reason with the beast and attempt to reach the part of it that is David. At first she appears to be having some success in calming it down but then it springs to attack her and a police marksman shoots him dead. | |
| Starring: | David Naughton (as David Kessler), Jenny Agutter (as Nurse Alex Price), Griffin Dunne (as Jack Goodman), John Woodvine (Dr Hirsch) |
| Featuring: | Lila Kaye (as East Proctor Barmaid), David Schofield (as East Proctor local), Brian Glover (as East Proctor local), Don McKillop (Inspector Villiers), Paul Kember (Sergeant McManus), Anne-Marie Davies (as Nurse Susan Gallagher) |
| Familiar Faces: | Rik Mayall (as East Proctor local, non-speaking part) |
| Starlets: | Nina Carter (as Naughty Nina, NOTW TV Advert), Linzi Drew (Actress in porno film showing at cinema) |
| Writer: Paddy Chayefsky / Director: Arthur Hiller / Producer: Martin Ransohoff | |
| Type: War Drama | Running Time: 114 mins |
| Starting in May 1944 in England where United States personnel are arriving to prepare for the imminent Allied push into Europe. Charles E. Madison is a lieutenant commander in the US Navy whose job is to attend to the everyday needs of top admiral William Jessup. The aging Admiral Jessup oversees the naval services and is concerned that Washington's top brass seem to be sidelining the navy and giving greater funding and importance to the role that air and ground based forces will play in the coming assault. Jessup holds the view that the side with the most formidable navy will always win any war.
Lt Madison confidently excels at his job of providing his admiral with every convenience. He is pleased that his administrative responsibilities do not place him in any danger because the thought of putting himself at risk terrifies him. The Americans make use of a motor pool provided by the British which is staffed by female recruits. One such driver is Emily Barham who is outspoken in her disapproval of the ostentatious Americans who seem to be insensitive to the frugality of the English who live under conditions of strict rationing. Emily has become hardened against forming relationships with soldiers after losing her husband, father and brother to the war and has vowed never to love another soldier who might soon have to fight and die. At first Emily dislikes Madison for his casually extravagant attitudes but after a while she mellows and sees that his behaviour is driven by genuine generosity rather than smug superiority. Furthermore she feels safe to fall in love knowing that his job will not put him in the field of enemy fire. As the weeks go by they begin a romantic affair. The pressure begins to toll on Admiral Jessup who is showing signs of strain and he forms the notion that his department needs to make a public relations film highlighting the role the navy play in the forthcoming D-Day landings. Naval personnel will spearhead the landings at Omaha beach in order to clear the area of mines and barriers while under enemy fire and Jessup wants a camera crew to accompany the engineers and film them in action. He furthermore wants a record of the first American sailor's death to show how brave and self-sacrificing the navy are. To Madison's horror Jessup puts him in charge of carrying out this task. Madison voices his careful protest that the risk involved simply to provide some internal PR is too great but his objections are overruled. The admiral seems set upon his foolhardy scheme and Madison finds himself saddled with a task that will put him at the forefront of what looks set to be the most dangerous day of the war so far. Madison tries everything he can to avoid involvement but events conspire against him and eventually he is left with no option but to cross the channel with the first flotilla and put himself at extreme risk on the first landing craft in order to capture the moments on film. His craft is hit by a salvo and he is catapulted into the air and he unexpectedly finds himself alone and exposed as the first and only soldier on the beach - he runs in panic and sets off a nearby mine and falls. In a seemingly ironic twist his is the very death he had been sent to film. His actions are recorded by another camera crew and in the days that follow the image of his sacrifice becomes front-page news around the world as the first brave American to die. Emily is devastated that yet again death has claimed a man dear to her. Meanwhile the admiral has recovered from his temporary madness. He is distraught by the loss of Madison and cannot believe that no one attempted to question his stupid orders. But he vows to make Madison's death count by using the publicity as a tool to highlight the navy's importance. Then news comes through that in fact Madison has survived and has actually been in a field hospital for the last several days as one of countless injured personnel that were picked up after the initial chaos was over. After treatment he is suffering nothing more serious than a limp and is shipped back to England. Emily is overjoyed and the Admiral too believes that this turn of events will help matters even more because now they can hold a celebratory heroes parade rather than a memorial. Madison however is bitter and wants to tell the truth about how he is not a hero but a coward who was trying to run away when he was seemingly killed. But Emily convinces him that this is not the time for noble self-sacrifice and he grudgingly agrees to deliver a gung-ho version of his story for the benefit of the world's media. | |
| Starring: | James Garner (as Lieutenant Commander Charles E. Madison), Julie Andrews (as Emily Barham), Melvyn Douglas (as Admiral William Jessup), James Coburn (as Lieutenant Commander Cummings, Madison's friend) |
| Featuring: | Joyce Grenfell (as Mrs Barham, Emily's mother), Edward Binns (as Admiral Thomas Healy), Liz Fraser (as Sheila, motorpool driver) |
| Starlets: | Janine Gray, Judy Carne, Kathy Kersh (as Cummings' girlfriends) |
| NOTES: | |
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Made in Black and White |
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Based on the novel by William Bradford Huie |
| Writers: Denis Cannan, Roland Kibbee / Director: Terence Young / Producer: Marcel Hellman | |
| Type: Period Drama | Running Time: 123 mins |
| Set in the 1600s/1700s. As a young orphan girl Moll Flanders was taken from her orphanage to work in the household of the local mayor. She is well treated and enjoys the benefits of a good education alongside the mayor's own children and is considered in many respects as one of his family - aside from her domestic duties. Moll works hard but harbours a secret ambition to better herself and to one day be a rich noble lady herself.
Moll flowers into young womanhood within the mayor's household and eventually the older son and she become lovers. She believes him to be serious and they discuss marriage which to her would be an immense elevation up the social ladder. However he shows himself for a cad and suggests she accept the proposal of his younger brother Nathan who is a bit of a fool but is also sweet on her. She hurriedly marries Nathan in the mistaken belief that she may be with-child following her union with the elder brother - but Nathan proves himself to be an inadequate drunken imbecile whom she has no love for despite the raising of her position. When Nathan dies in a horse-carriage accident she becomes a widow but the family cast her out making sure she gains nothing from his will. Now impoverished Moll seeks employment in town and gains a position as a ladies maid to Lady Blystone who can offer no wage other than board and keep due to her own dire financial position. Still dressed in mourning Moll is sent on ahead to London with Lady Blystone's belongings. She shares a carriage with a middle-aged banker called William with whom she strikes up an agreeable conversation on the long journey. A masked highwayman holds up their carriage and her quick thinking saves the banker some of his more valuable items as she exploits the highwayman's unexpected chivalry towards her widowhood. The highwayman's name is Jemmy who is a gentleman fallen on hard times and forced into a life of crime. Amongst the belongings he and his associate Squint took from the coach is a hatbox belonging to Lady Blystone. Jemmy wrongly assumes that Moll was this lady in question and fancies that she may be his route back into polite society if he were able to woo and marry her. So after a suitable amount of time he calls upon Lady Blystone's residence in London posing as a rich sea captain called Meredith. Although only a maid Moll often has run of the house and permission to use her ladyship's clothing and so she has no difficulty maintaining her role as Lady Blystone once she realises that that is whom this handsome gentleman believes her to be - marriage to such an important seaman would be a boon to her status and her quest to become a proper noblewoman and she is sure that her charms will win his favour even if he eventually discovers she is not the Lady he believes. So the two of them conduct themselves in their assumed roles as they engage in a courtship each believing the other to be genuine and both hoping to gain elevated social status by an eventual marriage. Even though the chemistry between them is genuine, when the truth of their positions become revealed Jemmy feels bitterly betrayed and storms off to resume his life of crime after having spent money he could ill-afford in hiring the necessary grandiose accoutrements his characterisation needed to fool her into thinking he was of the same standing as she. Moving on and Lady Blystone dismisses Moll after finding her cavorting with her husband even though Moll was actually trying to fend off his amorous advances. Cast out on her own once again Moll turns to the friendly banker she met on the coach journey and finds him recuperating after an illness. He is in need of companionship and she of support and so she agrees to marry him. She likes him a lot but finds the bedroom duties with him to be loathsome and without the passion that she craves. Some time passes and then she sees Jemmy ride by and she impulsively leaves to follow him and abandons the banker and her secure life with him. She fails to catch up with Jemmy and now destitute she falls into a life of crime until she is eventually caught and sent to Newgate prison to await hanging. Jemmy, Squint and a couple of the villainous associates she has made friends with in her criminal dealings are also there, as is Lady Blystone's husband whose debts have landed him in prison - all with similar death sentences that are due to be carried out soon. However when the prison facilities are inspected by council officials, Moll thinks her luck has changed because amongst the representatives is William the banker in his other role of an alderman - but unfortunately when William sees his missing wife in prison he faints and dies of shock. All seems lost until shortly afterwards Moll is called to the governor's office where Lady Blystone awaits her with a proposition. As the banker's wife and his only heir Moll has inherited his vast fortune and can buy herself out of her death sentence and have it commuted to transportation to America. Lady Blystone has brokered this deal with the prison governor provided Moll also pay for her husband's release. Moll agrees and also secures the release of Jemmy, Squint and the other acquaintances from her sojourn into the criminal fraternity. They are all put on a ship bound for America to start a new life. Moll and Jemmy get married (as themselves) and Jemmy is delighted that he has now after all married a rich lady with whom he is genuinely in love. | |
| Starring: | Kim Novak (as Moll Flanders), Richard Johnson (as Jemmy), Leo McKern (as Squint, Jemmy's accomplice), Angela Lansbury (as Lady Blystone, debt-ridden noble lady) , George Sanders (as William, The Banker), Lilli Palmer (as Dutchy, Jemmy's mistress and fencer of his ill-gotten gains), Peter Butterworth (as Grunt, Dutchy's assistant) |
| Featuring: | Vittorio De Sica (as The Count, Lady Blystone's husband), Cecil Parker (as The Mayor, takes young orphan Moll in as family maid), Barbara Couper (as The Mayor's wife), Daniel Massey (as Mayor's Elder Son), Derren Nesbitt (as Mayor's Younger Son, Nathan), Hugh Griffith (as Newgate Prison Governor) |
| Familiar Faces: | (small roles) Richard Wattis (Jeweller), David Lodge (Ship's captain), Bernard Lee (Landlord), Desmond Llewelyn (Jailer), Dandy Nichols (Orphanage Superintendent, prologue only) |
| NOTES: | |
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Based on the novel by Daniel Defoe. |
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Opening caption reads "This story is presented as a warning to all young girls whose vanity prevails over their virtue". |
| The Amorous Milkman (1974) | Previous Next |
| Writer/Director/Producer: Derren Nesbitt | |
| Type: Sex Comedy | Running Time: 86 mins |
| Davey is a milkman for D.N. Dairies. He lives by himself in a dingy bedsit and gets up at the crack of dawn every morning to do his rounds. His rounds must take ages because he stops at most houses for a chat. At one house he meets young Janice in her bath towel feeding her cat (leading to a string of inane "pussy" jokes that even Mrs Slocombe would have blushed at). They arrange to go out on a date that evening and afterwards go back to his flat where due to some misunderstandings she believes he has proposed to her and he being nice doesn't correct her. She tells her parents and makes it all official.
Davey goes to a pub to meet his friend Sandy and he is introduced to Diana and he double dates her with Sandy and his girlfriend Joan - at the end of the evening he takes Diana back to his place and declares his love for her and says he wants to marry her. So that's two girls he's now "engaged" to. Davey then goes to a party and meets a girl called Margo. He gets drunk and they go upstairs to have sex. Next morning she is so happy because he proposed to her - although he can remember none of it. So that's three girls now. Back on his milk round he delivers to a middle-aged woman who wants to prove to herself whether she is still attractive. She makes advances towards Davey which he declines - she falls down and as he is helping her up her husband returns catching them in what looks like a compromising situation in the kitchen - so she tells her husband that Davey has indecently assaulted her. Davey is arrested and charged with the assault which briefly she increases to rape until medical tests on him show he didn't do that - so it's reduced back to indecent assault with a trial coming in a few days. The positive side effect of this is that Margo and Janice break off their engagements to him for being a pervert. He goes to visit the woman he really wants, Diana, to explain what really happened. But she already has a boyfriend in the shape of a possessive gangland villain and he has Davey viciously beaten up. At the end he has his moment in court all beaten and bruised looking and is acquitted. But at the end clingy Margo forgives him and says she still wants to marry him. | |
| Comment: The film seems to veer from one type to another with little consistency. Early on it attempts to be a comedy with strings of smutty innuendo-laden conversations which really don't work at all well. It tries to move into straight romantic drama at times in his scenes with Julie Ege (who plays her part like she really doesn't want to be there making it very hard to understand what Davey sees in her). Finally it moves into something darker when he is accused of rape and then gets beaten up - resulting in very nasty and upsetting looking injuries to his face. So all-in-all not an especially good effort. Donna Reading as the bubbly naïve Janice is probably the best thing about it. The most amusing scene is when she and Davey go to the cinema and are watching an Italian arty film with a long sex-scene which he is really interested in - but she keeps commenting on what she thinks of the curtains or what a mess they are making of the sheets. | |
| Starring: | Brendan Price (Davey as the Milkman) |
| Featuring: | Julie Ege (as Diana), Donna Reading (as Janice), Nancie Wait (as Margo), Diana Dors (as the Housewife), Bill Fraser (as her husband), Alan Lake (as Sandy) |
| Familiar Faces: | Roy Kinnear, Anthony Sharp, Arnold Ridley, Janet Webb |
| Starlets: | Jennifer Westbrook (as Joan), Marianne Morris |
| NOTES: | |
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The Internet Movie Database has Diane Keen listed as appearing in an uncredited role as "Joan" (last Checked Oct 2005). However she was not in the film at all - the role of "Joan" was in fact played by Jennifer Westbrook who is inadvertantly omitted from the end credits although her name is shown during the opening title sequence. |
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Marianne Morris was playing the uncredited role of "Dora", a brief non-speaking cameo when Davey is recalling some former girlfriends - recognised from her starring role in the same year's Vampyres. The other girlfriend in the same flashback sequence was named as "Sally" but she has not been recognised. |
| Writers: Various / Director: Ian MacNaughton / Producer: Patricia Casey | |
| Type: Comedy / Anthology | Running Time: 84 mins |
| A collection of comedy sketches originally performed in the BBC comedy sketch show "Monty Python's Flying Circus". With no ongoing plot it is fundamentally just a best-of compilation of sketches. The sketches are recreated rather using the original broadcast versions - although the lack of an audience laughter track seems to dull the comedy somewhat.
Sketches featured are:- How not to be seen; Man with a tape recorder up his nose; Hungarian phrasebook; Randy marriage counsellor, Nudge Nudge; Self-defence against fruit attacks; Hell's Grannies; Camp soldiers formation drilling; Double vision expedition; Over-familiar arts show interviewer; Sexy housewife milkman abductor; World's funniest joke; Dead parrot sketch; Lumberjack song; Restaurant complaint; Lingerie store hold-up, Vocational Guidance Counsellor, Blackmail game show; Townswoman Guild's re-enactment of Pearl Harbour; Upper Class Twit Of The Year competition - as well as many animation interludes by Terry Gilliam. | |
| Starring: | Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Eric Idle, Terry Jones, Michael Palin |
| Featuring: | Terry Gilliam, Carol Cleveland, Connie Booth |
| Familiar Faces: | Lesley Judd |
| NOTES: | |
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Written by: Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Eric Idle, Terry Jones and Michael Palin |
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Monty Python's Flying Circus ran from 1970-1974 for four series and 46 episodes. This film was made between the first and second series and featured mostly series one sketches with a few from series two that had then not yet been done for TV |
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The full Monty Python team made three further films this time with original material:- Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975), Life of Brian (1979), The Meaning of Life (1983) |
| Writer: Roger Marshall / Director: Roy Ward Baker / Producers: Max J. Rosenberg, Milton Subotsky | |
| Type: Horror | Running Time: 90 mins |
| It is 1795 and happy young virgin bride-to-be Catherine has come to live at her new husband Charles' ancestral home of Fengriffen - but soon after arriving, her joy is shattered as she starts to have nightmarish visions of an eyeless man's face and other strange happenings - but no one else can see these manifestations although Catherine gets the distinct impression that there is something everyone else knows that they are unwilling or even afraid to tell her about. Catherine feels drawn to a portrait of Charles' grandfather Henry Fengriffen around which the worst of her visions seem to occur.
On the night of their wedding while Charles is in another room getting changed Catherine is attacked and raped in her bed by the hideous eyeless man who has a stumped right hand - she cries out, but by the time Charles reaches her there is no sign of any intruder and no one can accept her story is true. Next day when Catherine visits the family graveyard to look at the tomb of Henry she sees a man who resembles her spectral attacker. She finds out he is Silas the woodsman who lives on the Fengriffen land under a special dispensation - but he is sighted and is not missing any hands although he does have a distinctive red blotchy birthmark on his right cheek shared by the spectre. Catherine soon discovers she is pregnant and then over the next few days a number of deaths occur - all of people who were about to tell Catherine something of the legends surrounding the secretive Fengriffen family history. Her supernatural visions continue unabated and in torment she slashes Henry's portrait. Charles worries about his wife's sanity and sends for a doctor from London called Dr Pope who is an expert in the new science of psychology. Dr Pope has no belief in the paranormal and seeks to find a rational medical explanation to Catherine's concerns - to gain a better understanding he asks Charles to tell him about the family legends surrounding Henry Fengriffen that seem to be at the centre of Catherine's anxiety. FLASHBACK: Fifty years beforehand Henry was the lord of the manor. He used Fengriffen House for regular debauched parties and on one such occasion he and his drunken cronies visited the cottage of the local woodsman and Henry rapes his new young wife claiming some ancient right. When the woodsman (who is the grandfather of Silas and looks identical) tries to protect his wife Henry gets enraged at his defiance and chops off his right hand as punishment. The woodsman then issues a curse on Henry's family that the next virgin bride to come to the house of Fengriffen will be violated as his own wife has been and death shall befall any who try to prevent it. Once sober Henry tried to offer restitution to the woodsman by gifting his family perpetual rights to live on the land but his gesture made no difference to the woodsman's hatred of him. Charles tells Dr Pope that Catherine is the first virgin bride since those days as his own mother had been a previously married widow. Whilst these revelations were being made Catherine had been at the door and heard the details of the curse that she has become victim to - in desperation she tries to stab the unborn baby within her belly but the supernatural forces stop her and the pregnancy continues to full term. When the baby arrives it is a boy and is blemished with the red facial birthmark of the Silas line and Dr Pope has to accept that the supernatural curse has come true. Catherine reluctantly takes the baby but her face shows her last vestiges of sanity fading. | |
| Comment: The ending is a bit vague and inconclusive as to just what Catherine's state of mind is supposed to be. She appears to be going mad although she must recover eventually because she narrates the opening moments of the film in a reminiscent way from some point in the future describing her arrival at Fengriffen. | |
| Starring: | Peter Cushing (as Dr Pope), Stephanie Beacham (Catherine Fengriffen), Ian Ogilvy (Charles Fengriffen) |
| Featuring: | Herbert Lom (as Henry Fengriffen, flashbacks), Patrick Magee (as Dr Whittle), Geoffrey Whitehead (as Silas), Rosalie Crutchley (Mrs Luke, housekeeper), Sally Harrison (as Sarah, Silas' wife in flashback), Janet Key (as Bridget, a maid) |
| Starlets: | Kay Adrian, Vic Chapman, Hilary Martin, Beth Owen, Toni Sinclair, Elsa Smith, Gloria Walker (all probably flashback scene party revellers) |
| Writers: Brian Clemens, Terry Nation / Director: Robert Fuest / Producers: Albert Fennell, Brian Clemens | |
| Type: Thriller | Running Time: 94 mins |
| Jane and Cathy are two young English nurses on a cycling holiday in France. Jane is keen to journey far each day keeping to their original planned itinerary but Cathy is becoming fed up and would like to stay a bit longer in places. At a café Cathy spots a handsome stranger and takes his photo and thinks maybe she could get talking to him but Jane insists it is time to continue on down the long stretch of road through the French countryside along which they are currently journeying.
After travelling some further distance Cathy wants to rest and they stop on the grass curb to a woodland area to sunbathe. After what Jane considers a sufficient rest she insists they really must get moving if they want to make their next stopover before nightfall but Cathy is languid to her concern and just wants to stay and doze - they row and Jane tells her friend to go on without her if she's so desperate. Hoping being left alone might rouse her disquiet Jane does just that and cycles off alone down the road and then waits at the next café in the hope that Cathy will soon follow. After a time when Cathy does not show up Jane returns but there is no sign of her or her bicycle. All she finds is Cathy's camera on the ground. Then the handsome man stops on his scooter and offers to help. His name is Paul and once she has explained the situation he pockets the camera and tells her to leave her bike and get on his scooter and he'll take her back to the previous town in case Cathy doubled back. When she is not there Paul gives her back the camera and says she should wait here while he goes back alone to the woodland area and has another thorough look. While waiting Jane meets a woman who tells her about a murder that happened in these parts three years ago of a young female tourist travelling alone. It was quite a scandal at the time and no one was ever caught. Then Jane notices that the film has been removed from the camera that Paul gave back to her. The woman gives Jane a lift back to the woods to pick up her bike. There she meets up with Paul again who says he took the film as evidence and that he is a policeman with the Surete who was originally involved with the investigation of the victim from three years ago. But his story doesn't add up and he admits he was not with the official investigation but just on holiday. He says he has found something he wants her to identify and leads her deep into the woods. But she begins to become suspicious of him and runs away and finds the house of a Gendarme to whom she tells the whole story. The Gendarme goes looking in the woods while Jane waits at his house. Paul spots the man arrive and hides and the officer finds nothing and goes off searching in another direction. Paul finds his way to the Gendarme's place and shouts out that he's found something and she must come and look. Jane no longer trusts him one bit and can't believe a word he says all of which sounds like a ruse to get her to show herself. She barricades herself in but he breaks the door down and she becomes terrified that he is going to try to kill her. She runs out into a trailer park and hides in one of the abandoned caravans as Paul starts a systematic search and seems frantic to locate her. Then Jane makes the gruesome discovery of the dead body of her friend Cathy in the caravan she is hiding in. She rushes out in terror and Paul gives chase but she hides and strikes him senseless with a rock as he comes round the corner at her. The Gendarme then returns and she runs relieved into his safe arms telling him what she has discovered - but then she becomes aware that rather than just providing a comforting embrace his hands are feeling her up in a suggestive manner and she realises that it is he who is the villain of the piece. The Gendarme wrestles her to the ground and rips at her clothing as he starts to rape and strangle her. She is rescued by Paul who has come round and clobbers the Gendarme with a stick and all is well. | |
| Comment: The twist ending is a surprise but it is a little unfair on the viewer since Paul had been behaving ridiculously suspiciously all along which when looked upon in a new retrospective light of him being quite innocent makes very little sense as to why he was so secretive and furtive not just towards Jane but even when the viewer is watching him while he is alone hiding and skulking around in a very guilty sort of way. | |
| Starring: | Pamela Franklin (as Jane), Michele Dotrice (as Cathy), Sandor Elès (as Paul Salmon) |
| Featuring: | John Nettleton (as Gendarme), Clare Kelly (as English woman, Schoolmistress), Hana-Maria Pravda (as Madame Lassal, café owner), Claude Bertrand (as Lassal, café owner's husband) |
| Writers: François Truffaut, Jean Gruault / Director: François Truffaut / Executive Producer: Marcel Berbert | |
| Type: European/ Romantic Drama | Running Time: 124 mins |
| Set in the early 1900s. Claude Roc is a young Parisian man with a love of art who whilst recuperating after injuring a leg in an accident is introduced to the English daughter of his mother's childhood friend. Her name is Anne Brown and she is a budding sculptress who is in Paris to look around the galleries. Anne and Claude get on well and she suggests he come back with her to Britain for a holiday where he can meet her sister Muriel with whom she feels he will get along. Muriel suffers from a weakness of the eyes brought about by too much candlelit book reading and like Claude is also recuperating.
The Brown family live in a cottage in a small Welsh coastal village. Claude, Muriel and Anne all take to each other as firm friends and spend the rest of the holiday engaging in outdoor pursuits and artistic discussions because all three of them are well educated and the girls both speak fluent French. The relationship they share is like that of siblings and nothing romantic develops although of the two Muriel is the one Claude favours. But he cannot voice his feelings of interest in her hampered by the customs of the period in which romantic overtures must be strictly verbal in nature and one cannot idly touch a woman without good reason. Claude's visit is open-ended and as time wears on Mrs Brown begins to become concerned that her daughters' reputations may begin to suffer with a single man known to be living in their home who has no romantic intentions on either daughter - so she has him move out and live in a neighbour's house for the remainder of his stay. He writes down his feelings for Muriel in a letter expressing his great love for her and proposing marriage - but her reply is disappointing for she feels they are too much like brother and sister and she doesn't want to give him false hope. But she later amends her rash words to a distinct "maybe" given more time. Claude's mother, Mrs Roc, arrives from France so that the two mothers can decide what to do that's best for their respective children. They propose that Claude and Muriel should part company for one whole year without contact and if at the end of that time Claude still feels the same way and Muriel wishes to marry him then both mothers will give their approval. Claude returns to Paris and takes up a job as an art critic. He soon has reason to meet other women and go out on dates and after six months he has to write to Muriel saying that he has realised he is not right for her and hopes this relieves her from the burden of her decision but will always remain her friend and brother. Muriel is heartbroken when she gets his letter for she had been regretting her earlier hasty rejection of him and has been realising how much she did love him and wants to marry him. She goes to pieces and vows she will never marry. It is four years later and Anne is in Paris again to open a studio to work from as a sculptress. She and Claude meet up and share again that same friendship they first found and they start an open sexual affair both free to see others. Anne briefly has a fling with a mountain climber but breaks off their relationship unexpectedly. Later Muriel is visiting her sister in Paris and meets with Claude again - they instantly feel the former attraction and Claude cannot believe how much seeing her again has affected him and realises he still loves her and she him. But when Anne admits to her sister that she and Claude have been having an affair Muriel falls to pieces again and returns to Wales. And Claude also sinks into despair and spends many days in bed. It is now seven years since his Welsh holiday and Claude receives word through a friend that Anne has died of tuberculosis in Wales and her illness was the reason she never married her mountain climber lover. Muriel is on her way to Belgium via Calais to take up a teaching post and Claude goes to meet her. They book into a hotel overnight and have their first sexual encounter in which she loses her virginity to him. But afterwards she tells him she did it for him because he wanted it but they are now two different people and their love is dead and she must move on to her new direction in life. She leaves as a more happy and confident woman now complete and unafraid of life. | |
| Starring: | Jean-Pierre Léaud (as Claude Roc), Kika Markham (as Anne Brown), Stacey Tendeter (as Muriel Brown) |
| Featuring: | Sylvia Marriott (as Mrs Brown), Marie Mansart (as Madame Roc), Philippe Léotard (as Diurka, a friend of Claude and Anne), Marie Iracane (as Madame Roc's maid) |
| NOTES: | |
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Based on the novel Deux anglaises et le continent by Henri-Pierre Roché |
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This is a French film with the title of Les Deux anglaises et le continent. The film is mainly in French but with some passages in English when the British characters are speaking amongst themselves. The version reviewed was in original language with English subtitles when French is spoken. It has been reviewed here because of the obvious British connection and in particular the involvement of British actress Kika Markham. |
| Writers: Bridget Boland, John Hale / Director: Charles Jarrott / Producer: Hal B. Wallis | |
| Type: Historical Drama | Running Time: 139 mins |
| Set in 16th century England. King Henry VIII is about to sign the death warrant of his queen, Anne Boleyn, and as he does so he recalls the events that led to this moment ...
Henry is married to Katherine of Aragon, a Spanish princess and former wife of his late brother that it was politically expedient to marry. But Katherine has borne him only a daughter called Mary. Henry hankers for a son which he considers essential to carry on his line and secure the stability of England. He has had casual affairs and is used to women being only too happy to please him with no commitments on his part. However when his head is turned by the beautiful Anne Boleyn who has recently entered court after a period abroad he finds that his usual tactics of seduction do not work so well with her. Anne's sister Mary was one of Henry's previous conquests and Anne knows how unhappy she became to be cast away with child and no acknowledgement of responsibility from Henry. So Anne stubbornly refuses the king's wishes that she become his mistress until he makes certain commitments to her which ultimately mean marriage and an acceptance that any children she bears will be fully acknowledged heirs whether boy or girl. Henry has become obsessed with Anne but unfortunately he is already married and so he sets his advisers the task of finding a way to annul that marriage on the grounds that it was incest. Katherine is an immensely popular queen with the people and has the backing of the Pope in Rome who refuses to sanction such a divorce. So Henry invokes ancient laws that declare him the ultimate authority with the right to protect his bloodline and procure a son to succeed him. Without Rome's backing Henry is willing to risk being excommunicated as he orders sweeping constitutional changes to declare himself head of the English church and orders executions of any who refuse to sign an oath of allegiance to his new reforms - all in order to overcome the resolute obstinacy of the one woman he wishes to bed. Eventually Anne is satisfied that her position is secure and she marries Henry. They have a child soon after but it is another girl who is called Elizabeth. After this Anne bears only stillborn children and again the king is thwarted in his efforts to have a son and falls out of love with Anne. Henry again begins to have affairs and Anne tries to stop him and so the King asks his adviser Thomas Cromwell to find a way for him to divorce Anne. Cromwell advises that her position as queen has been too well secured but should she be proven to have been unfaithful to him then that would be a traitorous act for which she could be executed. Henry tells Cromwell to find the evidence of this betrayal and so Cromwell proceeds to torture false confessions out of Anne's male acquaintances. This evidence is used in court against her and she is found guilty and sentenced to death. Henry offers her the chance to live if she freely agrees to divorce him and renounce the succession rights of her child, but Anne defiantly refuses because she wants to secure the rightful inheritance of her daughter who she predicts will one day be the greatest queen the country has ever known and her blood will have been well spent to ensure that happens. ... The king signs her death warrant and Anne is executed leaving him free to pursue the next woman to snare his interest, Jane Seymour. THE END. | |
| Comment: As is well known the king went on to marry several more times. But eleven years after his death in 1547, and as Anne predicted, her daughter (after short reigns of a couple of half-siblings) went on to become a great Queen - Elizabeth I of England.
The title of the film has nothing to do with how long their relationship lasted or her reign as queen but is sort of justified by Anne eulogising to herself on the morning of her execution about the number of days that she loved Henry. | |
| Starring: | Richard Burton (as King Henry VIII), Geneviève Bujold (as Anne Boleyn), Anthony Quayle (as Cardinal Wolsey), John Colicos (as Thomas Cromwell, lawyer), Irene Papas (as Queen Katherine of Aragon) |
| Featuring: | Michael Hordern (as Thomas Boleyn, Anne's father), Katharine Blake (as Elizabeth Boleyn, Anne's mother), Valerie Gearon (a Mary Boleyn, Anne elder sister), Michael Johnson (as George Boleyn, Anne's brother), Peter Jeffrey (as Duke of Norfolk, Elizabeth's brother), William Squire (as Thomas More, lord chancellor), Terence Wilton (as Lord Percy, Anne's Boleyn's beau), Brook Williams (as Brereton, poet), T.P. McKenna (as Norris, King's friend), Denis Quilley (as Weston, King's friend) |
| Starlets: | Lesley Paterson (as Jane Seymour, [small role]), Nicola Pagett (as Princess Mary, Katherine and Henry's daughter, [small role]) |
| NOTES: | |
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Adaptation by Richard Sokolove; based on the play by Maxwell Anderson |
| The Anniversary (1968) | Previous Next |
| Writer/ Producer: Jimmy Sangster / Director: Roy Ward Baker | |
| Type: Drama | Running Time: 90 mins |
| The three grown-up sons in the Taggart family are gearing up for a long-established gathering to mark the occasion of their mother's marriage to their late long-departed father. Their mother, Mrs Taggart, is a domineering figure in their lives whose influence on them is unshakeable. Whenever any of them try to gain some independence mother is always quick to reprove them with her veiled denunciations designed to bring them back to heel. She goes about her games in the most calm of manners as she manipulates the lives of her sons to suit her own requirements. Mrs Taggart is also the owner of the house construction firm they all work for which gives her additional controls over them. She views her sons like the possessions in her trophy cabinet which must always be close by for her to appreciate.
Henry is the eldest who at nearly forty still lives at home and seems unlikely to marry. Henry has a penchant for wearing women's soft undergarments which he steals from washing lines. The family know about Henry's fetish but turn a discreet blind eye. He is sheepishly mannered but doesn't feel any disgrace in what he does and always leaves money for the garments he takes. However he knows how bad it would be if he were ever caught and so doesn't flaunt his inclinations in public. The next brother Terry is married and has managed to move out of the family home - however his confidence is rock-bottom and he still timidly defers to his mother on all matters of importance. Terry's wife Karen is made of sterner stuff and wants Terry to break away from his mother's debilitating influence, but Mrs Taggart is adept at finding and exploiting weaknesses. Karen has made very little headway in decoupling her husband from his need for his mother's approval (which is rarely forthcoming). As a child Terry caused an accident that blinded his mother in one eye and she now wears an eyepatch. Terry feels she has never forgiven him for that. Finally there is Tom, the youngest, who is the most defiant and is trying to rebel against his mother's control by pushing her boundaries and testing her limits. He has brought girls home before but mother has always managed to scare them off with her scornful force of will and multi-layered skills of artfulness. On this anniversary day Tom has brought home his new girlfriend Shirley whom he announces he is to marry and have a baby with. Shirley has been warned about Mrs Taggart but is not prepared for the onslaught of subtle upbraid which comes her way. But Shirley is fearless and is determined to stubbornly stand up to Mrs Taggart even though she is way out of her intellectual depth. Terry also has an announcement - at Karen's urging they have decided to emigrate to Canada. Mrs Taggart knows she has reached a crisis point and resorts to her resourceful artifice to try and turn the situation around to her advantage and restore the status quo. Fortunately Henry plays into her hands when he is seen pinching some underwear while out driving in Terry's car. Mrs Taggart plays upon the fact that Terry will be the one suspected and won't be able to go to Canada with a criminal record. She only agrees to smooth the situation over once Terry has agreed not to go to Canada. Mrs Taggart believes she has saved the situation until one of her little tricks backfires and a mischievous fright she set to scare Shirley almost causes her to miscarry. This miscalculation shocks everyone that mother could be so unthinking and it exposes her fallibility and leaves her temporarily floundering. Terry seizes the moment and is motivated to defy her and decide upon Canada after all. Tom and Shirley leave with a renewed determination to marry immediately with or without her approval. Mrs Taggart is left alone seemingly at last defeated. But she views it as a mere setback and knows she has many more alternatives left open to her. She calls her solicitor to implement longer-term strategies that will bring her errant sons back to her in the end. | |
| Starring: | Bette Davis (as Mrs Taggart, mother) (sons) Jack Hedley (as Terry), James Cossins (as Henry), Christian Roberts (as Tom) Sheila Hancock (as Karen Taggart, Terry's wife), Elaine Taylor (as Shirley Blair, Tom's fiancée) |
| Featuring: | Timothy Bateson (as Mr Bird, complaining housebuyer) |
| Starlets: | Sally-Jane Spencer (as Florist) |
| NOTES: | |
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From the stage play by Bill MacIlwraith |
| Writer: Jane Arden / Director/Producer: Jack Bond | |
| Type: Drama | Running Time: 87 mins |
| A scientist is doing some research into the nature of time and how to recognise the small moments that form together to create an event. His subject is a man called Joseph Sapha. The scientist hooks Sapha up to monitoring equipment to view the images from his brain as Sapha is asked to focus on his past so he can interlock with time on a primary level.
Sapha manifests his mother as a young woman as he knew her before he was put up for adoption after his father's violent death. He also visualises himself being his father who was a stage magician with a mind reading act. His father was also a gambler and used his uncanny abilities to win at poker. The scientist realises that Sapha is concentrating on too narrow a perspective and needs to take a wider view to see how the strands of reality interconnect - time is not what they think it is. The components of a potential event stretch back into the past and at certain critical instants those events that were initially formed from moments collide together to create history. To trace the origin of an event Sapha needs to follow its path back through time and observe without judgement. Sapha returns to himself as a boy and through his visualisations discovers that it was he who killed his own father in a shooting accident at a game hunt. That was the moment where everything changed for him and created his future history. Sapha returns to the present and knows how the patterns within him have made him into the combination of thoughts, emotions and beliefs that now define him. It seems to him that his identity is but a dot in the vastness of eternity. With that Sapha leaves and try as he might the scientist cannot find him again. The scientist has devoted his whole life to decoding the puzzle of the universe. His ultimate aim is to form a fundamental equation that unlocks the secret to eternity and gives him peace of mind. He believes he has made some progress in penetrating the equation that will answer everything and provide the solution to the ultimate question of "who am I". | |
| Comment: An experimental film told in such an impenetrable way it is impossible to make much sense out of it - hence the somewhat challenging summary. | |
| Starring: | Sebastian Saville (as Joseph Sapha and Professor J.D. Zanof, [son and father]), Suzan Cameron (as Alanda Clark, Sapha's mother as a young woman), Don Wilde (as Scientist), Jasper Gough (as Sapha as a boy) |
| Featuring: | Elizabeth Saville (as Sapha's sister) |
| NOTES: | |
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A lot of the film is shown in B&W which is supposed to be the surveillance footage of the subject - the quality of this is often purposely degraded with video tracking faults applied to add authenticity. There are also some scenes in colour. |
| The Appointment (1981) | Previous Next |
| Writer/Director: Lindsey C. Vickers / Producer: Tom Sachs | |
| Type: Chiller | Running Time: 85 mins |
| (Prologue) Three years ago a 12-year-old schoolgirl called Sandy Freemont who was musically gifted mysteriously disappeared while taking a short cut through some woods. The police never found a body or any clue to her whereabouts and in response a fence was put across the woods to prevent its use as an access way.
(Present day) Joanne Fowler is a 14-year-old schoolgirl from the same school as Sandy and is also a musician. She is talented and clever but is a bit of a loner and often sits by the railings to the woods talking to something near the ground (that we don't see). She is devoted to her father for whom she would do anything to impress and the next day is the culmination of all her hard practice with a school concert that she is looking forward to her father attending. But that evening her father Ian has some bad news:- a work colleague has had to take time off to care for his sick wife and Ian has been forced to step in and deputise in an important meeting in another city and he will be away from home for her music recital. He is dreading telling Joanne because he knows she doesn't take disappointment well and sure enough she greets the news with a sullen despondency accusing him of not loving her anymore. She eventually goes to bed defeated by his intransigence and the failure of her usual tactics of emotional blackmail. That night Ian has a restless time and is haunted by visions of being stalked by three Doberman dogs and then having a fatal accident on the road trip to his appointment. Unknown to him his wife Dianna has been having the exact same unnerving nightmare about him. In the garage some otherworldly activity seems to be going on around his car with the headlamps turning on by themselves and brake fluid valves becoming loosened. Ian makes an early start the next morning and initially has an uneventful journey but when he has to double back because he left his watch in a phone box he finds his brakes have failed and has an accident just like it played out in his nightmare and he goes over a precipice and dies. And as the film ends we see an unconcerned looking Joanne sitting by the fence to the woods and see now that she is talking to the Doberman dogs. | |
| Comment: A lot of odd events occur that are never really explained. The suggestion is obviously that Joanne is somehow controlling some malevolent force or it is working to please her for some reason and so it helped do away with her father who had let her down. The death of the first schoolgirl is never explained either but perhaps she had been more talented and was standing in the way of Joanne's musical advancement? A lot of the tension sequences are very long and drawn out with seemingly fairly ordinary things only made to seem spooky by the use of mood music. | |
| Starring: | Edward Woodward (as Ian Fowler), Jane Merrow (as Dianna Fowler, wife), Samantha Weysom (as Joanne, daughter) |
| Featuring: | John Judd (as Mark, mechanic friend of Ian), Auriol Goldingham (as Sandy Freemont, schoolgirl in prologue) |
| NOTES: | |
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Samantha Weysom receives an "introducing" credit |
| Arabian Adventure (1979) | Previous Next |
| Writer: Brian Hayles / Director: Kevin Connor / Producer: John Dark | |
| Type: Fantasy / Adventure | Running Time: 94 mins |
| Set in the Arabian city of Jadur in mystical times past. The three principal characters in this adventure are the evil magician Caliph Alquazar who lives in the palace; Majeed, a poor young Arab boy who arrives in the city looking for water; and Prince Hasan of Baghdad who comes to the city hoping to meet the beautiful Princess Zuleira who lives in the palace. Majeed and the Prince briefly meet up and exchange kindnesses before going their separate ways.
Alquazar is Princess Zuleira's stepfather who has become corrupted by evil and made the once benevolently ruled city a harsh place to live. Alquazar has a secret chamber in which he keeps a magic mirror which enables him to remotely view any location. Alquazar's aspiration is to possess the fabled Rose of Ilil, a talisman so powerful it will enable him to rule the world - but because of his evil he cannot fetch it for himself, it must be delivered to him by someone noble of purpose. The mirror alerts him that the very person has arrived in the city and shows him an image of Prince Hasan in the company of a young Arab boy. Alquazar sends his guards to capture the Prince - not an easy task because the Prince is a valiant fighter, but eventually he is apprehended. Alquazar says he will permit Hasan to marry Zuleira if he first goes on a quest to bring back the Rose of Ilil. Hasan agrees and Alquazar sends him away on a magic carpet. Along the way Hasan is unexpectedly joined by Majeed who is transported to the carpet by his guardian angel genie Vahishta as a way of evading some city ruffians. The carpet delivers them to the island of Ilil where there are a number of dangers to overcome as they encounter various protectors of the Rose. Eventually they find the magical Rose but it turns out to be young Majeed who was the noble one that the mirror was showing as able to pluck the glowing crystalline Rose. The travellers return to Jadur but it soon becomes clear that evil Alquazar is not intending to honour his bargain and is planning to kill them once the Rose is handed over. Majeed works out what to do to defeat the wizard and throws the Rose of Ilil into Alquazar's magic mirror which sucks the evil one inside and reverses all his evil spells. The kingdom is restored to its previous happy glory and the deposed former ruler is released from the dungeons to reign again. Prince Hasan and Princess Zuleira are married. | |
| Starring: | Christopher Lee (as Alquazar, evil wizard), Oliver Tobias (as Prince Hasan), Puneet Sira (as Majeed, young Arab boy), Emma Samms (as Princess Zuleira) |
| Featuring: | John Wyman (as Bahloul, Alquazar's guard), Mickey Rooney (as Daad El Shur, Keeper of the Rose), Milo O'Shea (as Khasim, Alquazar's assassin) |
| Star-Turns: | Peter Cushing (as Wazir Al Wuzara, former leader, [small role]) |
| Starlets: | Capucine (as Vahishta, female genie of the jewel), Suzanne Danielle (as Eastern Dancer, [one scene, non-speaking cameo]) |
| NOTES: | |
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Emma Samms receives an "introducing" credit |
| Writers: Jeremy Lloyd, David Croft / Director: Bob Kellett / Producer: Andrew Mitchell | |
| Type: Sitcom Spin-Off | Running Time: 91 mins |
| This summary assumes a familiarity with the TV series
Grace Brothers Department Store has closed for refurbishment and the staff have been given a discounted holiday as way of rewarding them for agreeing to take their annual leave to coincide with the closure. The departmental staff of Gentlemen's and Ladies' apparel (who are the principals of the TV show cast) are taking their holiday together on the Costa Plonka in Spain. When they arrive at the hotel they find their rooms are not ready and they have to spend the first night in tents. Various characters decide to make the most of the less formal surroundings to arrange midnight rendezvous with their secret fancy. However, clandestinely scribbled love notes get wrongly delivered by a confused waitress which the recipients then believe another has written when they eagerly reply; and others decide to swap tents for a variety of reasons - leading to a succession of farcical misunderstandings and embarrassments amid the ensuing night-time wanderings. Next day the Grace Brothers staff are caught up in the middle of an insurgency as a small band of revolutionaries take sanctuary in the hotel which comes under fire from the government troops. Eventually the fighting ends and Young Mr Grace pays the staff a visit to make sure they are all enjoying themselves. | |
| Comment: The film is light on actual describable story plot because it is mainly about the character interplay and dialogue interchanges which characterise the series. It is generally quite amusing and gives plenty of opportunities for the various characters to display all of their affectations and deliver all of their familiar catchphrases. | |
| Starring: | (TV Regulars) John Inman (as Mr Humphries), Mollie Sugden (as Mrs Slocombe), Trevor Bannister (as Mr Lucas), Frank Thornton (as Captain Peacock), Nicholas Smith (as Mr Rumbold), Wendy Richard (as Miss Brahms), Arthur Brough (as Mr Grainger), Arthur English (as Mr Harman, maintenance staff), Harold Bennett (as Young Mr Grace) |
| Featuring: | Andrew Sachs (as Don Carlos Bernardo, hotel manager), Glyn Houston (as Cesar Rodriguez, revolutionary), Karan David (as Conchita, hotel waitress), Derek Griffiths (as The Emir, shop customer), Nadim Sawalha (as The Emir's Interpreter), Sheila Steafel (as Hat Customer) |
| Starlets: | Penny Irving (as Miss Nicholson, Young Mr Grace's secretary), Monica Grey (as Inoculation Nurse), Jennifer Granville (as Air Hostess), Marianne Broome, Rikki Howard and Nicki Howorth (as Hotel guests, [cameo bit-parts]) |
| NOTES: | |
• |
Based on the BBC sitcom of the same name which ran for 69 episodes over ten series between 1972 and 1985. The film features all the original core cast and was made around the time of the fifth TV series. The framework of the film is an original story although certain elements are recycled from TV episodes. |
| Writers: Various / Directors: Various / Producer: Don Boyd | |
| Type: Music / Anthology | Running Time: 88 mins |
| Ten short films by different writer/directors mostly without dialogue to the accompaniment of various classical music pieces.
1) Un ballo in maschera Writer/director: Nicolas Roeg In Vienna of 1931 King Zod of Albania was rumoured to be having a scandalous affair and his enemies attempt his assassination - but Zod is prepared and fights back. 2) La virgine degli angeli Writer/Director: Charles Sturridge Some young teenagers go joyriding in a car and eventually have an accident 3) Armide Writer/Director: Jean-Luc Godard Two young female cleaners wander naked around a gym and assess the various bodybuilders working out but the perfectly toned men seem oblivious to the women whose lowly status puts them beneath notice. 4) Rigoletto Writer/Director: Julien Temple A husband goes on a business trip and his wife takes advantage to go away to a kinky hotel with her young lover. However the husband's trip was a ruse and he has gone to the same hotel with a mistress of his own. They manage to spend their entire stay without noticing each other. And only realise when they get home and view their kinky self-filmed videos which a bellboy got mixed up. 5) Die tote Stadt Writer/Director: Bruce Beresford A couple undress and go to bed while singing an aria to each other 6) Les Boréades Writer/Director: Robert Altman In the 18th Century the inmates of an insane asylum are invited to attend an opera - however they are misbehaved and inattentive. 7) Liebestod Writer/Director: Franc Roddam Two lovers go to a Las Vegas hotel where they have sex and then take a bath where they slash their wrists in a suicide pact. 8) Nessun dorma Writer/Director: Ken Russell A woman has a vision of being pampered with jewels by some Inca slaves - but in fact she has been in a car accident and is fighting for her life. 9) Depuis le jour Writer/Director: Derek Jarman An elderly woman dresses up glamorously and joyfully recollects her younger days with a boyfriend 10) I pagliacci Writer/Director: Bill Bryden / Co-writer: Don Boyd An actor arrives at a theatre and makes himself up as a clown. He then performs his mournful act for the benefit of one sole young woman in the auditorium. NOTE: The build-up to this segment is also played between the other segments as a sort of framing sequence. | |
| Starring: | (Main characters only) 1) Theresa Russell (as King Zog), Stephanie Lane (as Baroness, king's fancy), Ruth Halliday (as Baroness' companion) 2) Nicola Swain (as Marie), Jackson Kyle (as Travis), Marianne McLoughlin (as Kate) 3) Marion Peterson, and Valérie Allain (as The Young Women) 4) Buck Henry (as Preston, husband), Anita Morris (as Phoebe, wife), Beverly D'Angelo (as Gilda, husband's mistress), Garry Kasper (as Jake, wife's lover) 5) Elizabeth Hurley (as Marietta), Peter Birch (as Paul) 6) (no credited cast) 7) Bridget Fonda (as Girlfriend), James Mathers (as Boyfriend) 8) Linzi Drew (as Woman) 9) Amy Johnson (as Old Lady), Tilda Swinton (as Young Girl), Spencer Leigh (as Young Man) 10) John Hurt (as The Actor), Sophie Ward (as The Young Girl) |
| Ascendancy (1982) | Previous Next |
| Writers: Edward Bennett, Nigel Gearing / Director: Edward Bennett / Producer: Penny Clark | |
| Type: Drama | Running Time: 81 mins |
| Set in Ireland in 1920 amid the religious hatred between Protestant and Catholic communities. Connie Wintour is a young English woman who was psychologically traumatised by the death of her dear brother Harry who was killed during the Great War (WW1). She has lost the use of her right arm and is prone to being uncommunicative and unresponsive at times although of late her condition appears to be improving and she has a degree of independence from her nurse. She lives in a grand country house owned by her father Mr Wintour who is a big shipbuilding employer in the area.
Mr Wintour is having serious industrial relations problems with his workers as the different religious groups amongst them refuse to work alongside each other and Mr Wintour's decision to sack one group to dispel the problem causes more anger which stirs up rioting and violence in the streets. The British army are present to keep order and when Mr Wintour's life is threatened an army unit station themselves on his land to keep him protected. Connie's doctor attempts hypnosis on her and under suggestion she is perfectly able to move her numb arm and her condition is considered psychosomatic. Her most communicative moments are in letters she writes to her dead brother (snatches of which we hear her narrating). Connie meets the lieutenant in charge of the detail at her house and displays her naïve ignorance about the political situation not being able to understand what they are doing and why people are fighting and she had a similar lack of understanding of why her brother had to go to war and die in a struggle that wasn't his concern. She says she can see the same look in the lieutenant's eyes of being involved in a war he doesn't believe in. He tells her this isn't a war in Ireland and they are here to keep the peace and he tells her she is a poor sick girl for not understanding what's going on around her. This rebuke sends her fleeing from the house and she witnesses the fighting in the street and sees death and brutality first hand - when she returns to the house she has relapsed and is in an almost catatonic state and needs to be spoon fed although her nurse thinks she might be faking. The lieutenant is being discharged and offers to take her away from Ireland to recover back in England but she fails to comprehend what he is offering her and as we leave the story she has regressed to a state where she needs to be force fed with a tube. | |
| Starring: | Julie Covington (as Connie Wintour), John Phillips (as Mr Wintour, Connie's father), Ian Charleson (as Lieutenant Ryder) |
| Featuring: | Susan Engel (as Connie's Nurse), Philip Locke and Kieran Montague (as Connie's doctors), Rynagh O'Grady and Philomena McDonagh (as Connie's personal maids) |
| Familiar Faces: | Jeremy Sinden (as a British officer) |
| The Asphyx (1973) | Previous Next |
| Writer: Brian Comport / Director: Peter Newbrook / Producer: John Brittany | |
| Type: Chiller | Running Time: 82 mins |
| It is 1875 and Sir Hugo Cunningham has just brought home his young bride-to-be Anna Wheatley to meet his family which consist of his grown up children Clive and Christina and adopted son Giles. Sir Hugo is an immensely rich inventor with twin interests of photography and psychical research. He and others in his research society have taken photographs of people as they are about to die and have noticed a dark smudge on the prints that are common to all regardless of the equipment used or the photographer who took the picture. Sir Hugo theorises that the photos have captured the soul leaving the body.
Sir Hugo has invented a moving pictures camera and on a family day out by a lake he is taking some moving images of his son Clive and fiancée Anna as they are boating when an accident occurs and both Clive and Anna drown. Once the shock of his double-loss has abated Hugo views the film and notices the same dark shape that appears on stills - but rather than leaving a body as he had thought, the moving images show that it actually enters it. Sir Hugo experiments further and decides to film a public hanging. He has developed a light booster device to illuminate the subject - this is powered by water dripping onto phosphorus crystals which creates an intense blue light that is focussed forward onto the subject like a spotlight. But as the hanging begins the spotlight reveals and traps within its glare a wailing banshee-like creature that cannot seem to pass through to the condemned man until Hugo switches off the light at which point the hanged man dies. Sir Hugo tells his adopted son Giles that he believes the creature they saw was called an Asphyx - a being spoken of in Greek mythology that seeks out the dying and manifests itself - each living creature has their own Asphyx that reunites with them at death. Sir Hugo realises that his light booster trapped the Asphyx and so if the creature were to remain trapped the intended host would never be able to die and be henceforth an immortal. He persuades Giles to help him try it out on himself. By electrocuting himself to near-death Hugo's Asphyx is summoned and Giles traps the being within a specially designed chamber that is forever bathed in phosphorous glow. After a few tests they determine that Hugo is indeed now immortal and cannot be killed. His trapped Asphyx is locked away in a combination-controlled vault and Hugo gives Giles instructions that he must never reveal to him what that combination is if he should ever ask for it and be tempted to end his immortality. Next Hugo wishes to make his daughter and Giles immortal too. They start with Christina and put her under a guillotine for it is necessary for her to believe she is about to die for the Asphyx to be summoned - but things go badly wrong when the booster light fails and she is really beheaded and dies. Giles is grief stricken for he was in love with Christina and they were planning to marry. Hugo too is devastated and asks Giles for the combination so he can release his Asphyx and die - but Giles tells Hugo that first he wishes to be immortalised himself so that he can have an eternity to feel his guilt. He gives Hugo a sealed letter containing the vault combination should anything go wrong. But Giles has no intention of becoming immortal and has rigged himself a gas chamber to summon his Asphyx and when it is full of gas he lights a match and blows himself up. Sir Hugo is now devastated that all his children are dead due to his meddling with the dark forces of nature and takes the sealed letter so he can at last end it all for himself - but then he recalls Giles words about needing to live an eternity with the guilt to properly expunge it and he burns the envelope without opening it. Epilogue: Time moves on 100 years into the modern day to show that Sir Hugo is still alive, albeit with a time-ravaged decrepit face - but still unable to die whatever measures he attempts to try and achieve death. | |
| Starring: | Robert Stephens (as Sir Hugo Cunningham), Robert Powell (as Giles Cunningham, adopted son), Jane Lapotaire (as Christina Cunningham, daughter) |
| Featuring: | Ralph Arliss (as Clive Cunningham, son), Fiona Walker (as Anna Wheatley, Hugo's fiancée), Alex Scott (as Sir Edward Barrett, Hugo's psychical society colleague), Terry Scully (as Pauper, test subject) |
| NOTES: | |
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Based on an original idea by Christina and Laurence Beers. |
| Writer/Producer: Michael Relph / Director: Basil Dearden | |
| Type: Comedy Thriller | Running Time: 104 mins |
| Set in 1914 prior to the start of the Great War. Miss Sonya Winter is a liberated young woman who aspires to become a journalist which is a very male preserve and she is consequently met with no encouragement. Sonya has stumbled upon a story that she has researched and hopes to receive a commission from a top London newspaper to pursue her investigation. The story she has uncovered is the existence of a secretive organisation called The Assassination Bureau Limited that has made a lucrative business out of murder and she has discovered how to get into contact with them to arrange a "commission". Eventually she finds one newspaper proprietor called Lord Bostwick who shows interest and is willing to hire her if she keeps him personally updated upon her ongoing progress.
Sonya makes contact with the Bureau through coded words in a small-ads column and is received by the Bureau's chairman Ivan Dragomiloff for a consultation. He tells her that his Bureau is an international endeavour with skilled agents from all over the world. He insists on maintaining the underlying principle of their founder that the target of any hit is someone who deserves to die. When he asks who Sonya wants killed she astounds him by giving him his own name as the target. Rather than dismissing her proposal he is intrigued at the prospect. He sees it as a way of testing his organisation to find out if his worldwide network of agents are good enough to kill him or if he can kill them first - so he accepts her commission. Ivan tells his international board members (who are also the local assassins in each territory) what has to be done. The Bureau's vice-chairman is revealed to be none other than newspaper proprietor Lord Bostwick who we learn has allowed Sonya to investigate the Bureau because he has secret ambitions to take it over and sees this as a perfect way to eliminate the moralistic chairman. Under Lord Bostwick's chairmanship things would be different - he views the Bureau as a powerful political tool that he would use for his own ends in the tumultuous political climate that is developing across Europe - but cannot show his hand until Ivan is out of the way. Ivan begins his tour of Europe to test each of his agents as they attempt to assassinate him and he in turn kill them. Sonya doggedly trails him until at last he allows her to be his companion on the trip. Unknown to him Sonya keeps Lord Bostwick apprised of her movements unaware of Bostwick's ulterior motives and how useful he is finding her travel reports which he passes onto the other agents. Ivan comes out the victor in a number of murder attempts. One of these botched efforts accidentally kills a man called Archduke Ferdinand instead which sparks a political fury that threatens to send Europe into an all-out war. Sonya and Ivan's various shared dices-with-death gradually draw them closer together until they eventually become romantic. Ivan learns of Lord Bostwick's secret agenda and Sonya is angered at being used by the newspaperman and so agrees to help Ivan draw his rival out. To do this Ivan makes it seem as though the next attempt on his life in Venice has succeeded and Bostwick arrives thinking he is now in charge. The crown heads of Europe are gathering for the Archduke's funeral and are planning secret peace talks in a nearby castle. Bostwick plans to murder them all with a massive bomb dropped from a Zeppelin. Ivan sneaks aboard hoping to find a way to stop them. Bostwick's plan almost works but his anger is his downfall when he shoots at Ivan and the Zeppelin explodes in midair. Ivan just manages to get out in a small escape balloon before the main craft is engulfed in flames. He is decorated as a hero for saving the royal lives which Sonya finds a bit ironic considering his normal line of work. | |
| Starring: | Oliver Reed (as Ivan Dragomiloff), Diana Rigg (as Sonya Winter), Telly Savalas (as Lord Bostwick, vice-chairman) |
| Featuring: | (Bureau Members) Curt Jürgens (as General von Pinck, German agent), Philippe Noiret (as Monsieur Lucoville, French agent), Warren Mitchell (as Herr Weiss, Swiss agent), Clive Revill (as Cesare Spado, Austrian agent), Kenneth Griffith (as Monsieur Popescu, Rumanian agent) Vernon Dobtcheff (as Baron Muntzof, Lord Bostwick's aide), Annabella Incontrera (as Eleanora, wife of Cesare Spado), Beryl Reid (as Madame Otero, brothel Madame), Jess Conrad (as Angelo, Eleanora's lover) |
| Familiar Faces: | Roger Delgado (Minor Bureau Member), Frank Thornton (assassination victim, non-speaking cameo), Peter Bowles (Brothel customer, cameo) |
| NOTES: | |
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Based on the novel The Assassination Bureau Limited by Jack London and Robert Fish |
| Writer: John Kruse / Director: Sidney Hayers / Producer: George H. Brown | |
| Type: Crime Drama | Running Time: 84 mins |
| Prologue: After school one day teenage schoolgirl Tessa Hurst is walking home as normal through the wooded common bordering the school when she is attacked and raped by a man underneath an electricity pylon. We do not see the man's identity. End of prologue.
It is two months later and the police are no closer to capturing the culprit with no leads to go on. Tessa went into a shell following her ordeal and is in a stuporous unresponsive state being cared for in a psychiatric hospital by Doctor Greg Lomax. Back at school the headmistress Mrs Sandford has made the common out of bounds and all girls must be accounted for and driven home until the maniac is caught. But one afternoon a girl called Susan Miller breaks regulations and takes a shortcut across the common to make a date with a boyfriend - on the way she is assaulted and murdered. Schoolteacher Julie West is driving some other girls home when they realise that Susan is missing and they drive down the common lane looking for her. It is getting dark and in her rear car lights Julie thinks she sees a man crouching over something - she goes to look and finds Susan's body. The police investigation led by Detective Chief Superintendent Velyan intensifies into a murder hunt with Julie as the prime witness. Julie is an art teacher and so with the help of a local newspaper reporter she devises a plan that she will pretend to be about to draw a good likeness of the killer which will be billed as being forthcoming in the mid-week edition of the local newspaper. The plan is to lure the killer into making an attack on her to prevent her providing this sketch and the police will step in and arrest him. Things don't go quite so smoothly and Julie is attacked but the killer gets away - the one thing Julie noticed while he was trying to strangle her was he was very clinical as if he knew where her pressure points were - so maybe someone with medical knowledge. Doctor Greg Lomax decides that since the first assault victim Tessa saw the face of her attacker their best course of action will be to try and rouse her from her listless torpor and he proposes using Sodium Pentothal on her. The hospital principal John Bartell finds out his plans and offers his own private surgery which backs onto the common as the place to carry out the treatment. Julie is nominated as Tessa's guardian and brings her to Bartell's home. Greg goes to collect the drug from the hospital dispensary but is told it has gone missing and an arrangement has been made with a local chemist to provide some more. When Greg goes to the chemists he finds it is booby-trapped and is caught in an explosion although he is not killed. Back at the surgery with Greg unaccountably delayed Bartell says they must carry on without him and mysteriously (to us) he has some Sodium Pentothal (although Julie is unaware there was ever an issue with it disappearing). We then see Bartell mixing the drug with something else. Julie wants to wait for Greg since Tessa is his patient but Bartell is becoming belligerent and determined to proceed regardless of her objections. Julie suddenly realises that he is the attacker and is intending to kill Tessa as the only proper witness. Julie tries to stop him but Bartell attacks her. Tessa sees the assault and is roused from her unresponsive state and flees in fear out of the back door and onto the common. Julie gets away from Bartell and rushes out the front to alert the police guard. When they return Bartell has gone having followed Tessa into the woods. Tessa has made her way to the pylon where her original assault took place and Bartell catches up to her and begins to attack her once again - strangling her with a perverse display of sexual pleasure. But before he has time to kill her the police are heard arriving in force and with nowhere to run Bartell climbs the pylon where he is electrocuted. | |
| Comment: The viewer does not know who the killer is until just before Julie figures it out - but the film presents several men as being suspicious in nature and possible candidates:- chief of these is Mrs Sandford's husband who has a very lecherous eye when it comes to the teenage schoolgirls at his wife's school where he works as a caretaker/administrator. Even Greg is given a few doubt-raising incidents with his motives at times unclear to the viewer - and the eventual real culprit John Bartell is seen looking vaguely suspicious a few times. | |
| Starring: | Suzy Kendall (as Julie West), Frank Finlay (as DCS Velyan), James Laurenson (as Greg Lomax), Freddie Jones (as Denning, newspaper reporter) |
| Featuring: | Dilys Hamlett (as Mrs. Sanford, headmistress), Tony Beckley (as Leslie Sanford, headmistresses husband), Lesley-Anne Down (as Tessa Hurst, first assault victim), Anthony Ainley (as Mr Bartell, hospital principal), James Cosmo (as DS Beale), Patrick Jordan (DS Milton) |
| Familiar Faces: | Allan Cuthbertson (as Coroner), David Essex (as Man in Chemist Shop, cameo role) |
| Starlets: | Anabel Littledale (as Susan Miller, schoolgirl), Siobhan Quinlan (as Jenny Greenaway, schoolgirl), Janet Lynn (as Schoolgirl in Library) |
| NOTES: | |
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Lesley-Anne Down and James Laurenson both receive "introducing" credits. |
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Based on the novel The Ravine by Kendal Young. |
| The Assignment (1977) | Previous Next |
| Writers: Mats Arehn, Ingemar Ejve, Lars-Magnus Jansson / Director: Mats Arehn / Producer: Ingemar Ejve | |
| Type: European / Drama | Running Time: 90 mins |
| Swedish industrial interests are being threatened by the civil unrest in a province of a South American country in which Sweden has strong mining investment. Erik Dalgren is a Swedish administrator who is sent to the province to become the new Provincial Resident with an assignment to establish a dialogue between the guerrilla forces of the Liberation Front and the military governance.
The previous Resident had been assassinated by the Liberation Front and so Erik is given special police protection by local police Kaptain Behounek to prevent the same happening to him. Erik is provided with a secretary called Danica Rodriguez who is local to the province. As Erik attempts to arrange the seemingly impossible task he has been set he begins to understand that the unrest and mayhem attributed to the Liberation Front may actually be being initiated by the federal police under the orders of the military governor Gami for his own political ends - and that the Liberation Front only act to counteract the terror tactics of the police. Danica has close contacts with the Front and they deny killing his predecessor and claim it was an internal affair carried out by the police to prevent him issuing a proclamation favouring the Front's interests. Eventually Erik manages to win some compromises from the police and gain the trust of the Front's leader and so the two factions agree to the proposed conference to discuss the future of how the two sides might manage to co-exist more peacefully. But it is a trap by the police and the leaders of the Front are arrested and executed. Erik is told his work is done and he realises he has been used by politically ambitious men to flush out the rebel leadership and achieve this result for them. | |
| Starring: | Christopher Plummer (as Kaptain Behounek), Thomas Hellberg (Erik Dalgren), Carolyn Seymour (as Danica Rodriguez, Erik's secretary) |
| Featuring: | Fernando Rey (as Roberto Bidara, influential local man), Per Oscarsson (as Sixto, leader of Liberation front), Walter Gotell (as Frankenheimer, Erik's bodyguard), Rosette Graboi (as Fransisca Larrinaga, daughter of Erik's murdered predecessor), Gabor Vernon (as General Gami, military governor) |
| Familiar Faces: | David Swift, Sandor Elès |
| NOTES: | |
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Based on a novel by Per Wahlöö. |
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This Swedish made English language film is reviewed here because of the involvement of British actress Carolyn Seymour in the cast. Its Swedish title is Uppdraget. |
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The country in which the story takes place never seems to be specifically stated. Whether this is kept intentionally vague or if it's because it was thought to be so obvious it wasn't necessary to mention it, I'm not sure. It has a present day setting and has the characteristic look of a South American country. The only place name I heard mentioned was Santa Rosa which is a city in central Argentina so I can only assume it's set there although I am not familiar with quite what influence Sweden was supposed to have in such a country as to be able to install their own local provincial governor. |
| Writer: Robert Bloch / Director: Roy Ward Baker / Producers: Max J. Rosenberg, Milton Subotsky | |
| Type: Horror / Anthology | Running Time: 88 mins |
| A young doctor called Dr Martin has arrived at the Dunsmoor Asylum for the Incurably Insane to be interviewed for the position of senior Houseman. He is expecting to see the Asylum's director Dr B. Starr, but instead meets Starr's associate Dr Rutherford who explains that unfortunately Dr Starr has been struck down by madness himself and has taken on a new personality complete with a false life-story. Dr Starr is now one of the four patients currently at the institute and Rutherford suggests a test to Dr Martin that he meet all four and listen to them tell the stories that led them to be committed to this place and see if he can tell the three genuine ones from the purely invented one of Dr Starr. Rutherford offers no clues and will not even reveal if Starr is man or woman. Quite (in)conveniently all the patients' names begin with the letter B so there is no clue there either. Dr Martin goes to the confinement rooms and meets the orderly Max Reynolds who introduces him to the four patients in turn who each tell their story ...
Story 1 - Frozen Fear Bonnie (the patient) tells of her affair with a middle-aged man called Walter who has agreed to murder his wife so he can be with Bonnie. Walter kills his wife and dismembers her body with an axe wrapping all the parts in brown paper and putting them in a freezer along with a voodoo charm bracelet she always wears. He then rings Bonnie and tells her to come round because he has done the deed - then he hears a noise from the freezer and when he checks it out he is throttled by some arms that reach from within. When Bonnie arrives she finds Walter dead and is then terrorised by all the disconnected limbs that attack her and when one latches onto her face she uses the axe to chop it away causing herself extensive scarring - which (back into the framing story) we see she still has - this experience is what sent her mad. Story 2 - The Weird Taylor Bruno (the patient) is a tailor whose small business is visited by a strange man called Mr Smith who wants him to make a suit to a very strictly laid down criteria. Mr Smith supplies the material and the design pattern and stipulates that Bruno must only work on the job between midnight and 5am because of Mr Smith's superstitions. When Bruno has finished the suit he takes it to Mr Smith's house and discovers the customer has no money to pay - Smith has spent his vast fortune on supernatural studies and procurement of an ancient and unique book describing a suit that will re-animate the dead and he intends to clothe his dead son in the fabric to bring him back to life. The men argue and Bruno keeps the suit because of non-payment and back at his shop his wife uses it to dress a window dummy - this dummy then comes to life and attacks Bruno sending him mad. Story 3 - Lucy Comes To Stay Barbara (the patient) has just returned home from a spell in hospital for a mental disorder and her brother is looking after her while she recuperates. Barbara is visited by her best friend Lucy who reminds her that she owns this house and her brother is probably trying to get her committed so he can have it. Lucy tells Barbara to get some rest and leave everything to her and she will sort out the problem. When Barbara awakes she finds her brother has been stabbed to death. But no one will believe her that it was Lucy who did it - and she is committed. And (back into the framing story) Barbara says why don't they ask Lucy themselves because she is here and points to her own reflection in the mirror. Story 4 - Manikins of Horror This story is different in that there is no flashback and it is essentially part of the "framing" story with the events occurring in the present:- Byron (the patient) shows Dr Martin how he has created a robot doll that he can use to transfer his consciousness into. Dr Martin decides he has seen enough and goes back to see Dr Rutherford to say he refuses to participate in the test because he doesn't think the patients are being properly cared for with no attempt to cure them. While they are talking Byron's manikin gets up onto the table and stabs Rutherford to death and in horror Martin tramples the manikin underfoot to stop it. Dr Martin rushes back to the patient's room and finds that Byron is dead - his body crushed to death. He tells Reynolds the orderly that it was Byron whom he suspected of being Dr Starr. But then discovers he was wrong as the orderly strangles him to death revealing it is he, Reynolds, who was the mad Dr Starr all along. | |
| Featuring: | (Framing Story and Story 4) Robert Powell (as Dr Martin, applicant), Patrick Magee (as Dr Rutherford, asylum associate), Geoffrey Bayldon (as Max Reynolds, asylum orderly) (Story 1) Barbara Parkins (as Bonnie, patient), Richard Todd (as Walter, Bonnie's lover), Sylvia Syms (as Ruth, Walter's wife) (Story 2) Barry Morse (as Bruno, patient, tailor), Peter Cushing (as Mr Smith, customer), Ann Firbank (as Anna, Bruno's wife), John Franklyn-Robbins (as Rent Collector) (Story 3) Charlotte Rampling (as Barbara, patient), Britt Ekland (as Lucy), James Villiers (as George, Barbara's brother), Megs Jenkins (as Miss Higgins, nurse) (Story 4) Herbert Lom (as Byron, patient) |
| At the Earth's Core (1976) | Previous Next |
| Writer: Milton Subotsky / Director: Kevin Connor / Producer: John Dark | |
| Type: Adventure | Running Time: 83 mins |
| An elderly Victorian inventor named Dr Abner Perry has designed an innovative new drilling machine that has been built with the financial backing of one of his rich ex-students David Innes. The High Calibration Cylindrical Digging device is a two-man vehicle with a spinning drill head and rocket powered thrusters that has been nicknamed the Mole. Abner and David are at the controls for the first test which will bore through the side of a Welsh hillside. The crowds gather to watch the much-publicised spectacle and give them a cheering send-off as The Mole is launched into the hillside from a 45°gantry.
The drill-bit cuts easily into the rock and the whole craft soon disappears into the mountainside for what is anticipated to a fairly short trial run. But the device vastly exceeds Abner's expectations and cuts through the rock too fast and he finds he cannot stop it. It continues downwards unchecked passing unstoppably through the Earth's upper and lower mantles then into the scorchingly hot outer core and finally comes to a halt at the Earth's inner core in an unexpectedly temperate and habitable hollow zone. David and Abner disembark their vehicle and find themselves in a dense jungle full of exotic and fearsome creatures. The sky above is the dome of a giant natural cavern many miles high with the light provided by the magma roof. The travellers are captured by a race of pig-nosed bipeds called Sagoths. (Fortunately) the tribespeople speak English and explain to the Victorians that this is the land of Pellucidar - it is ruled by evil creatures called the Mayhar who use the obedient Sagoths as foot soldiers to gather slave workers from amongst the human tribes that live in the jungles. The journey to the city is through a catacomb of tunnels in the rocks and the young male slaves including David are put to work in the mines. Their job is to shore up the defences against the ever-encroaching lava which threatens to undermine the city's foundations if not kept at bay. Abner is put to work in the city's archives as a librarian. The Mayhar are giant bird-like creatures who mesmerise their slaves with strong telepathic signals. They also use slaves as food and David is appalled by their butchery as they swoop down and seize mesmerised victims in their inner sanctum arena area. David decides he must put a stop to all this evil suffering and manages to get away and back into the jungle. He meets a tribesman called Ra and manages to persuade him and leaders of rival tribes to join together to mount an organised attack on the city to free the slaves and destroy the powerbase of the evil Mayhar. The attack focuses on the central weaknesses of the city - a lava gate that holds back the main lava flow; and an incubation chamber in which Mayhar eggs hatch. The Mayhar silently coordinate their forces of Sagoths with telepathic signals but they are overwhelmed by the aggressive determination of the rebellious humans. The Mayhar are all killed and with the city's defences breached the lava flows unchecked and the city explodes in a fiery inferno from which the newly allied tribespeople and the freed slaves only just get away in time. Abner and David are hailed as heroes for liberating the Pellucidarian humans from their enslavement. David and Abner reboard their Mole machine and return home to their surface world. | |
| Comment: A side-issue plot is that one of the captured slaves is a beautiful girl called Dia who is a princess to her people - she and David are attracted to one another, but he commits a faux pas and inadvertently rejects her attempt at seduction with his restrained Victorian chivalry and politeness and she runs off offended. Later David wins her respect back when he has to save her from a rival chieftain who wants her for himself - it is also through this victory that the other tribes regard David as a great warrior whom they are willing to follow into battle. At the end of the film Pellucidarian custom dictates that Dia belongs to David and he wants her to return to the surface world with him - but she decides she must remain with her people and they sorrowfully part. | |
| Starring: | Doug McClure (as David Innes), Peter Cushing (as Dr Abner Perry) |
| Featuring: | Cy Grant (as Ra, tribesman), Caroline Munro (as Princess Dia), Godfrey James (as Ghak, old wise tribesman) Sean Lynch (as Hoojah, sly untrustworthy tribesman), Michael Crane (as Jubal, rival tribe leader) |
| Familiar Faces: | Keith Barron (as Dowsett, journalist at Mole send off, [small role]) |
| Starlets: | Andee Cromarty (as Victim at Mayhar arena) |
| NOTES: | |
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Based on the novel by Edgar Rice Burroughs |
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The same production company (Amicus) also filmed two other adaptations of Edgar Rice Burroughs' "lost world" type books either side of this film:- The Land That Time Forgot (1975) and The People That Time Forgot (1977). Those other two stories were related to one another and also starred Doug McClure and directed by Kevin Connor - however those were not related in any way to this middle film either by characters or plot-setting. |
| Writer: Herman Hoffman / Director: Paul Wendkos / Producer: John C. Champion | |
| Type: War Drama | Running Time: 86 mins |
| Second World War drama. Canadian Major James Wilson on assignment with the British Army is still reeling from the failure of a daring assault mission he commanded which resulted in the loss of most of his 500 strong force, when another of his audaciously risky schemes is given the green light by military commanders. At La Plage on the French coast the Germans have built a massive dockyard to service their ships and the destruction of this establishment would be a tremendous setback for them. The area is heavily fortified and impregnable to a conventional landing assault but Wilson's plan is to pack a ship with high explosives and ram the quayside and blow the place sky-high. His plan is code-named Operation Mad Dog.
Wilson rigorously trains the naval personal who will be providing combat support to make an advanced stealthy landing and eliminate some of the coastal gun emplacements so that the bomb ship won't be sunk before it reaches its target. Unfortunately military resources are severely stretched and Wilson has to make do with antiquated equipment and colleagues who are less than convinced that the operation has any chance of succeeding. The operation gets underway on an old Naval minesweeper and fortunately they manage to get most of the way across the channel unchallenged because the German base commander is convinced they are just another routine minesweeping patrol that will turn back before it gets into range - like others before it. By the time the Naval base realises the vessel is not turning back the British commandos have already landed and have begun attacking and disabling gun positions which enables the minesweeper to get through and ram the docks. The crew have five minutes to get clear before the timer detonates the explosives but unfortunately a lucky enemy volley hits the wheelhouse and the timer mechanism is damaged so Major Wilson has to stay behind and sacrifice himself to detonate the bomb manually. The mission is successful and the base destroyed and enemy personnel are captured or killed by the British commandos. | |
| Starring: | Lloyd Bridges (as Major James Wilson), Andrew Keir (as Captain Owen Franklin, skipper of minesweeper), Mark Eden (as Lt. Cmdr Donald Kimberly, Wilson's second-in-command) |
| Featuring: | Sue Lloyd (as Sue, Major Wilson's wife), Maurice Denham (as Sir Frederick Grafton, rear admiral at British HQ), Glyn Owen (as Lt. Forrester, officer on the minesweeper), Howard Pays (as Lt. Graham, commando), Walter Gotell (as Van Horst, German base commander), John Welsh (as Admiral Lord Cansley, Admiral of the fleet at British HQ), Ernest Clark (as A.V.M. Woodbridge, RAF commander at British HQ), Dick Haydon (as Pringle, young naval rating on mineweeper) |
| NOTES: | |
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Based on a story by John C. Champion |
| Au Pair Girls (1972) | Previous Next |
| Writer: Val Guest, David Adnopez / Director: Val Guest / Producer: Guido Coen | |
| Type: Sex Comedy | Running Time: 81 mins |
| Four foreign Au Pair girls arrive in England and have various different experiences with the families they have been assigned to stay with. A Danish girl gets wet a lot before she even gets to her destination; A Swedish girl meets a rich oil sheikh on her first evening out; A German girl is taken out by her family's daughter and meets her pop star idol; and a Chinese girl stays with a titled family who's grown up son is emotionally undeveloped and childlike. | |
| Starring: | Astrid Frank (Swedish), Gabrielle Drake (Danish), Me Me Lay (Chinese), Nancie Wait (German), Richard O'Sullivan |
| Featuring: | Trevor Bannister, Johnny Briggs, Daphne Anderson, Geoffrey Bayldon, Julian Barnes |
| Familiar Faces: | Harold Bennett |
| Star-Turns: | John Le Mesurier |
| Starlets: | Lyn Yeldham, Christine Donna, Marcia Fox, Carole Catkin |
| NOTES: | |
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Nancie Wait receives an "introducing" credit |
| Writer: R. Prawer Jhabvala / Director: James Ivory / Producer: Ismail Merchant | |
| Type: Drama | Running Time: 55 mins |
| Every year in London an Indian noblewoman has a reunion with an ageing Englishman called Cyril who used to work for her royal father as his Private Secretary at their palace in India. Papa and Cyril were friends and he and the princess reminisce happily about the good old days as they watch old movie footage of state occasions that Papa was involved in.
Cyril and the princess have a warm affection for one another and now that Cyril is a historian she would like him to write a book about those days and has gathered some new material to view that might help him. But there are painful memories of Papa's downfall when he was set-up and disgraced by blackmailers in a honeytrap and his international reputation scandalised. And Cyril remains ashamed he did not stand up for his friend at the time and doesn't feel able to write about it. | |
| Comment: The whole film consists of Cyril and the Princess having a conversation in her London apartment while watching movie footage. The archive film is genuine vintage black and white and colour clips of real miscellaneous events which their commentary ties together as if they are all part of her father's glory days. | |
| Starring: | James Mason (as Cyril), Madhur Jaffrey (as The Princess) |
| Writer: Carl Humphries / Director: Michael J Murphy / Producer: Jeanne Griffin | |
| Type: Adventure | Running Time: 80 mins |
| Set in mystical times past. Lord Owen is a champion of King Pedrar of Zenor on a quest to find the fabled island of Avalon. On that fabled Isle of the Dead where souls wait in limbo, it is said that the body of King Arthur Pendragon rests until the world has need of him again. It is there that the evil enchantress Morgana resides building up her power until she is strong enough to rule the world.
On his journey Owen rescues a maiden called Clotilde who was about to be sacrificed by druids in an occult ceremony to ward off the evil of Avalon. Clotilde is also bound for Avalon to try and find her love Edwin who ventured to Avalon on a quest of his own and never returned. Owen also rescues a petty thief called Keiran who had been captured stealing valuable artefacts from the druids and was set to have his hands removed. Keiran decides to tag along with the other two and together they head for the coastal region in the propinquity of Avalon. But Avalon cannot be sighted and they meet an old man who tells them that nearby Avalon is under a magical haze cast by Morgana to hide it from view. But it is there and if they swim in the right direction they will soon reach it. The old man's name is Merlin and as they watch he transforms himself into the form of a much younger man more fit for the tasks ahead. Merlin has his own undertaking to save the world from the danger posed by the evil sorceress Morgana. The woman whose potent beauty he once fell for as a younger man. So enthralled had he been that he taught her the ways of magic thus beginning an odyssey which eventually led to the death of his liege King Arthur. Now these many years later Merlin knows he must enter her realm to stop her before she becomes too powerful. Merlin says he will join the others on Avalon later after he has collected an object vital to the task ahead. The intrepid trio swim to the island following Merlin's directions. They set up a camp and Keiran goes to fetch firewood. He falls into a bog but is saved by a man-like creature with grotesque features who says he is under a curse cast by Morgana. When Keiran returns to the campsite the other two don't believe his farfetched story. Morgana senses their presence on her island and uses her magic to summon the creatures of the night. Hordes of dead warriors rise from their graves and attack the trio and in the melee Clotilde is kidnapped and when Owen and Keiran have defeated the zombies Clotilde is nowhere to be seen. When Owen and Keiran arrive at Morgana's castle they find that a tournament of champions is about to start and they are welcomed in on the assumption that they are there to compete. The tournament is a series of bouts to the death with the winner receiving bountiful treasure. Owen and Keiran manage to make it through the first day of contest unscathed and enjoy a feast laid on by Morgana and her seven witch acolytes. They discover that Clotilde has been entranced by Morgana into thinking she is a lowly serving girl. Merlin arrives on the second day and he has brought with him the mystical sword Excalibur that he has fetched from the safekeeping of the Lady of the Lake. He uses it to defeat the remaining warriors. Morgana is still as young and beautiful as she was when Merlin knew her because here on Avalon time has no meaning. Merlin still feels a powerful attraction to her but knows he must resist in order to complete his mission. Morgana knows she must not let Merlin discover Arthur's tomb or else all that she has achieved here will be ruined. But her efforts are in vain and Merlin and his friends find Arthur's resting place after rescuing Clotilde from the clutches of Morgana's two sadistic eunuch minions Cerdic and Altar. The grotesque man-like creature from earlier makes another appearance and the heroes work out how to reserve his curse and he reverts to human form - and he is Clotilde's love Edwin! They defeat a monstrous cave guardian using the power of Excalibur then approach the sarcophagus containing the mortal remains of King Arthur. Merlin has a plan so radical it will forever change the world and ensure that no one can ever again be corrupted by the invidious power of sorcery. On this day magic will be rescinded and wizards and sorcerers everywhere will irrevocably lose their powers and be as normal men. Merlin knows that what he aims to do will unleash enormous forces which will destroy Avalon so he urges his companions to leave as quickly as possible and swim for safety. But Merlin grows too weak to continue as he reverts to his aged form. Owen volunteers to do what must be done as the other youthful adventurers make their getaway. Morgana makes a last gasp effort to intervene but Merlin erects a fiery barrier to stop her. Owen places Excalibur atop Arthur's body in his coffin which produces a surge of energy so powerful it reenergises the dead king for him to perform one last task to save the world. The earth quakes and the tomb collapses in a mighty flash and Avalon is destroyed taking Merlin and Morgana with it. Merlin's plan has worked and magic is resigned to legend as a new age dawns. Clotilde, Edwin and Keiran make it to the mainland and Keiran takes his leave of the reunited lovers regretting Owen's death. But then as if by a miracle Owen swims to shore having been blown clear by the blast. The two companions set off together in search of other adventures in a world where magic no longer operates. | |
| Starring: | Patrick Olliver (as Merlin, young and old), Stephen Harris (as Owen), Rob Bartlett (as Keiran), Abigail Blackmore (as Clotilde), Debbi Stevens (as Morgana) |
| Featuring: | Catherine Rowlands (as Lady of the Lake), Craig Hiller (Edwin, Creature and Man), Phil Lyndon and Steve Longhurst (as Cerdic and Altar, Morgana's eunuch acolytes), June Bunday (as Elvina, witch), Kate Kneafsey (as Althea, witch), Marina Bolton (as Edina, witch), Denise Burden (as Cara, witch), Jon Morgan (as Druid Priest), Rob Peacock (as Warrior) |
| Also: | Gaye Sizer, Sue Moore, Elise Meldrum, Debbie Beech, John Copeland, Dave Lyndon, Ian Godwin, Julie Sher, Steve Moore (as various other Witches, Warriors and King Arthur, [unspecified roles in credits]) |
| Play: Samuel Taylor / Writers: I.A.L. Diamond, Billy Wilder / Director/Producer: Billy Wilder | |
| Type: American / Romantic Comedy | Running Time: 138 mins |
| Busy American business executive Wendell Armbruster, Jr is travelling to Italy to collect the body of his recently deceased father who has died in a motorcar accident while on holiday. Wendell is in a hurry and only has a couple of days to complete the arrangements in time for the funeral set for next Tuesday back home in Baltimore - today is Saturday. He becomes increasingly frustrated with the laid back, no-hurry attitude of the locals as he makes his way to the small town of Iscia and the hotel that his father was staying at. On the journey he meets an attractive young English woman who seems to know who he is and makes attempts to start a conversation but he assumes her to be a tourist and pays her little heed as he remains focussed on drafting the eulogy he will read at the funeral.
The manager of the Grand Hotel Excelsior is Carlo Carlucci and he greets Wendell expressing his sorrow and telling him what a great and popular man his father had been at the hotel which somewhat goes against Wendell's perception of how people normally viewed his once high-flying father. The revelations keep coming as Wendell discovers his father did not die alone but was in the car with a woman. Then he finds out that the English woman is also at the same hotel and that she is here for the same reason as he - it was her mother who died alongside Wendell's father. Her name is Pamela Piggott and Wendell immediately assumes the worst that her mother was some money-grabbing short term fling - but to his amazement Pamela tells him that the couple had been lovers for 10 years and had been coming to this same hotel every year for a month together. Carlo confirms all this saying that they had been the perfect loving couple and the staff all adored them and knew all their favourite regular habits and customs by heart. As the weekend develops Wendell and Pamela join up to organise their parents' repatriation to their respective countries although the red-tape is so convoluted and local officialdom creaks along at such a snail's pace that they have plenty of time to spend together. And either by accident or design they find themselves re-enacting the various activities and customs that their parents so loved and they begin to fall in love with each other in the way their parents did. Finally with the red tape still holding things up Wendell at last realises his father had found true happiness here with Pamela's mother and he agrees with Pamela's suggestion that their parents should be buried together locally in a nearby plot side-by-side. As the grieving couple's time together comes to end they have fallen in love themselves and agree to meet up next year and keep their parents' traditions going. | |
| Starring: | Jack Lemmon (as Wendell Armbruster, Jr), Juliet Mills (as Pamela Piggott), Clive Revill (as Carlo Carlucci, hotel manager) |
| Featuring: | Edward Andrews (as J.J. Blodgett), Gianfranco Barra (as Bruno, valet), Giselda Castrini (as Anna, maid) |
| NOTES: | |
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The title of the film comes from the Italian word that corresponds to "come in" when someone knocks on your door and asks for permission to enter. |
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This American film has been reviewed here because of the involvement of English actress Juliet Mills in the cast. |
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